TrixMixer

Hi Huy's,

God I hate posting this after such a cerebral post on "Doctrine" but really would like some input.

As many of you have read I have been sober now for many years, not without occasional dreams about me drinking.

Lately, in fact since I have joined in the posting of SR, I have been bombarded with full blown wild dreams about being a raging alcoholic again. Relapsing, and waking in a panic that feels so real I am near tears.

Now some of you may know I am a Drama Queen, so maybe I am not in tears......my question is"". I am thinking it may just be that I read and talk about it all day, and it is so much on my mind that I can't help but dream about it.

I can deal with the fact that this happens in the beginning , but I have to admit it is very scary , and am wondering if any of you have found the discussions here to have a little bit of a Trigger. I mean I have never read so many posts about the trials and tribulations of alcohol, and it worries me that a forum like this needs to be taken in small doses.

Maybe I should back off a bit to get out of the mind set. God I feel Like a wimp. Thinking I am good to go with years of sobriety under my belt, and then this!!

What are some of your thoughts on this?

The TrixMixer cat!

Grymt

As a wise person once didn't say: the subconscious rises to interface with the conscious at the time of sleep, we drape the rising with aspects of reality as we understand it, this is our dreams.
Our dreamlife follows a logical sequence: a trigger, a dream, a waking experience.
This is like the irritation that rises to a painful boil that bursts forth as pus. Then comes healing.
This is to be experienced with equanimity, no judgement. Nature takes it's course. Facilitate, do not irritate, this process. If that does not confuse sufficiently, I'd recommend taking it easy, one day at a time. Always.

TrixMixer

Thank God, GRYMT, you brought this back to a Cerebral discussion! I feel so much better--like "S--- Happens"?, LOL!

Grymt

LOL, you're most welcome

bigsombrero

I posted on this a few days ago because I was so troubled too! I had them before I found SR, while I'm posting on SR, and while I'm not! They happen sporadically, but when they do come it shakes me to the CORE!!!

I have had dreams that I'm using alcohol again, and most of the time I'm horrified (in my dream) and feel crushed inside. When I wake up it takes a while to shake it, because it's so real. I dreamed that I awoke to a scene in my apartment filled with empty beer bottles etc. It looked like someone had thrown a party. My friend was there, in my dream, and when I asked him what happened he told me "you were really bad last night, really bad, you were drunk again and you cut your hand on a broken window" and I looked down and my hand was bleeding. I was heartbroken, terrified, and wondered "how did this HAPPEN!?"

I was shaken for the entire morning. I don't think it's because of what goes on in these forums, I think it's just your mind "working" while you sleep. The brain is so complicated! Sometimes I feel like gears are turning in my head at night, like my brain is a puzzle and it's trying to find it's way back together. Sometimes when it's putting together the pieces, one of the pieces gets put in the wrong place and the nightmares occur.

From what I understand they probably will continue for a while. I'm okay with it, as it scares the crap out of me and re-inforces my fear of alcohol! You're not alone that's for sure. Troubling, freaky dreams are no fun.

bigsombrero

i also have dreams where i "feel drunk" too BTW. Like, i'm trying to walk in a dream and instead i'm stumbling around. it's all paralyzingly scary. again i think it's just your brain working on turning those gears, clicking back into place.

paul99

I don't know if there is any correlation between increased exposition to alcohol related stimuli (i.e a forum like this, etc.) and increased drinking dreams. We all get them, for the most part. Countless threads have been started about them. Some get them more than others, especially early on. But I am not sure if we can "trigger" dreams as much as we think we do, but I have no evidence to support that. I do believe however that what may be laying underneath will certainly bubble up into our dream state. I know that I would usually dream about work for a while when I start a new job - fears, insecurities, etc. manifesting in dreams. Do drinking dreams occur more if I am here more? Historically, for me, not really. For you and others it might be so.

Interesting question!

Jeni26

I had one just last night! Dreamt I was at work standing in front of a group of respected colleagues trying to chair a meeting whilst I was totally wasted. In my dream I had enough self-awareness to know I was making a bad job of it, that everyone could see me for the wreck I really am, and that I'd blown it big time. I was trying so hard to pretend I was sober but it was impossible to disguise.
I woke with such anxiety that it has taken me most of the day to shake it.

My drinking dreams haven't happened very often thankfully, and I put it down to a bit of uncertainty that my subconscious likes to run with when rational daytime thinking goes out of the window.

Mine have nothing to do with the amount of time I spend on SR. Particular posts may cause me some anxiety, but that's far outweighed by the positive effect from learning from others. And I can live with it.

It's just part of being an alcoholic I reckon.

lilyrosemary

I must be the only one that doesn't mind the drinking/using dreams. i have them frequently. i am over three years sober. It's such a joy to wake up and know i am still solid as a rock. for me, its a great reminder of how horrible i would feel if i went back to drinking.

TrixMixer

Hi Lily,

That is how I felt about them before SR. They were infrequent and always a relief upon awakening. Since I have been on SR they have become a little TOO Real, and I am beginning to think they may be me subconsciously dwelling on relapsing. I have been sober for some 25 years and this is the closest I have come to feeling panic.
I am going to chalk it up to a subconscious review of facts rather than a need to relapse and have a drink. After so many years that just seems so foreign to me, but then again ---Cat in Panic Mode!......NOT a pretty sight!

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

ReadyAtLast

Hi,

Maybe some elements of SR or some posts,particularly relapse & drinking posts are causing you underlying frustration and this is coming out in your dreams. I find drinking dreams very un-nerving too.Hope you are ok

LexieCat

I've been having nightmares about Cheshire Cats grinning at me.

Brrr.

Dee74

Some people attach a lot of meaning to drunk dreams - I never did tho.


I rarely dream about alcohol or weed now, but sometimes I get the odd one.

I also still dream about high school and University and my working career and other things that were at one time very important to me but are way in the past now.

I never added anything to my recovery or worried about it anymore than I was when I was awake - and everything turned out fine Trix

D

LadyinBC

I think our dreams come from our brain filtering out garbage and things we think about all the time. Not drinking is something I think about everyday so it's not surprising I dream about it!

I have the most wildest dreams I really wish i could tape them. My daughter says I should keep a journal by my bed and write them down as soon as I wake up! I can always wake myself up from a bad dream, I can control them sometimes and the awesome thing is I can even fly in my dreams!

Gottalife

I don't know if there is any correlation in fact, but I used to have these dreams when I was working on MY alcoholism. I took them as a sign my subconscious was absolutely committed to not drinking because in the dreams drinking was always a disaster, never fun.
I can see how some posts might trigger a dream in me back then, but I am in a different place now.

The dreams seemed to go when I made the transisition in AA from going "to" AA to fix me, to being "in" AA to help others. Instead fo going to get, I go to give. That spiritual axiom you have to give it away to keep it.

So my reaction to a dramatic post may be different. I don't transpose it on to me, but rather I try to think what, if anything, I could suggest that would be helpful.

Don't know if that makes any sense to anyone.

God bless,
MikeH.

peanut44

For me, whatever i get totally "into", the chances are good that I'll dream about it.

Can't read Ann Rule books anymore. Started having dreams about serial killers!!! Vivid dreams where my husband was having to wake me up.

Also, some of the posts about opiates, withdrawal and stuff like that really bring stuff up for me. But it doesn't bother me too much.

TrixMixer

Hey LexieCat,

Know you meant that to be snarky!!!!......and that's ok--it was really funny!!

It's actually funny to think I am someone's "Worst Nightmare", LOL!


"I'm smiling at YOU!!!!!"

TrixMixer

MyTimeNow

I think it's perfectly understandable to have such dreams if you have recently joined and are spending a lot of time ingesting, thinking about and replying to others posts. I had SO many SR dreams when I first joined... then weirdly moved onto saucy dreams about former school friends... NO idea what that was about (well other than being single for too long maybe!!)

RobbyRobot

Hey, no worries Trix!!
Forget about it!