bnmbh

I cant stop drinking and im really scared.. Im drinking almost a half gallon of vodka a night. I have high bp and i feel terrible... Im scared about detoxing without assistance i have no money no insurance nothing.. I was a at seattle salvation army rehab but left after 1 month and started drinking right away.. I feel so alone and scared.. I told myself yesterday i wasnt going to drink i lasted till bout 7 pm then off to the liquor store.. I feel like this is a battle i cant win.. I dont talk to my friends any more im embarrassed for any to see my.. Im shaking i feel terrible.. There has to be a better way

bnmbh

I cant seem to sleep either if im not drinking

LookingOut

Can you go back to the Salvation Army and try again? It is worth quitting and being sober. Once you quit for a week or two you will be able to sleep much better again. I have struggled in and out for many years. I was sober for two years then went back out, so I plan to go to live meetings again.

hypochondriac

Could you go back to the salvation army? This is a battle you can win you just need to find what will work for you. Even if you are still drinking you can go to AA meetings, look into AVRT, SMART, keep posting here. Getting sober is one thing but staying that way requires alot of active work. My sleep was off for a bit too but it settled down, hopefuly it will for you too. Glad you're here x

bnmbh

Im researching rehabs now that r free.. Sadly i have no way to pay.. Thanks for the replies...

robgt350

see if you can go back to salvation army.

2granddaughters

Are you attending AA meetings?

bnmbh

Im researching rehabs now that r free.. Sadly i have no way to pay.. Thanks for the replies...

bnmbh

No i need to go but i feel so ****** and reak of booze..

bnmbh

Will they make you leave if you smell like booze

robgt350

you can go to an AA meeting they are free. i would think some one there might know of where you can get some help

LexieCat

There are often people at meetings reeking of booze. As long as you don't go berserk and start throwing chairs around or something, you are MORE than welcome. People in your situation are why AA exists.

hypochondriac

AA is the one place you can go reeking of booze. People don't get asked to leave AA meetings, even when people get aggressive they generally just take a break. You will be more than welcome there x

Boleo

Here is a link to the rehab I was in. It costs nothing.

Denver Rescue Mission

2granddaughters

Usually not if you aren't disruptive.

Grymt

bnmbh.

When I went to a mens salvation army hostel for a month and a bit my feet were swollen and purple from trudging the streets.

I felt like **** emotionally.

It was very strict there. If I smelt of booze they wouldn't let me in. No arguments.

I had little money and used to collect cigarette butts off the street and got to know where all the evening 'food' vans were (lots of cakes and weak coffee).

Anyhow. it was a format which helped me. I took advantage of the in-house counselor. I avoided the really hard cases and gravitated to a group who just liked to sit around for a bit of a chat in the mornings.

Soon I was going to (walking) three (sometimes more seldom less) AA meetings a day. After a couple of weeks I looked for some volunteer work and got some for the local council.

I think that time was one of the best for me.

Life was simple. I learnt stuff.

It didn't mean the end of boozing yet but when things came together a lot of it depended on the time I spent there.

I've always been a loner and kind of street-smart. I know when to walk away. I'm selfish about my safety and personal integrity. I'll give what I can even if I don't have much but I won't give away my life.

Add booze to that and I become self destructive. Disorientated. Cold.

I guess what worked for me was to stop drinking and becoming selfish about my sobriety.

It took me a while more but eventually I figured it out.

I still have issues to deal with. I'm not so afraid of doing so anymore.

deeker

Maybe try to go back to salvation army. Don't worry you won't be the first person that ever walked out and came back. I went to the same detox 5 times , and they knew me well. I am surprised they didn't have my name above my bed. You can do it, Just walk thru your fear. All they can say is no. Google detoxes in your area as well. Mine was free every time.
I am sober today and happy, you can be too!!

Caldus

No. As long as you have a desire to stop drinking, that's all that is required to attend AA meetings. I know of one guy who keeps coming to meetings buzzed but he insists he's trying to quit. So yes, you are absolutely welcome there.

Zebra1275

As long as you are civil you would be welcome at any AA meeting I've ever been to.

And it sounds like you may have completed Step 1 of the program, realizing that you are powerless over alcohol.

john44

You can stop.

First you must be medically detoxed. Find a hospital that has a detox program. They cannot turn you away because of money. Alcohol detox is a medical emergency. Once you are detoxed you can start to think about a program of recovery.

You never have to feel like this again.