Justfor1

Well I noticed that I have been getting very irritable lately. I have not picked up a drink but have quite the problem. Today is Valentines day & I feel guilty. I have been talking to another women without my girlfriend knowing. The problem is probably even greater because they are both newly sober. I am afraid of them running into each other at a AA meeting. I am catching myself telling many lies just like I was when I was actively drinking & smoking drugs. Not sure really what to do because I'm afraid if my girlfriend finds out than she may drink.

Muunray

Stop talking to the other woman if you really care about your girlfriend or break up with your girlfriend - not fair to either one as it sounds like you are more interested than should be if feeling guilty.

paul99

The old expression "If you want to stop feeling guilty, stop doing things that make you feel guilty" comes to mind. I have had to employ that many times early in my recovery, when old habits and ways of thinking were still stuck to me like a bad smell. This kind of thing is dangerous for us alcoholics...not just the girls running into each other, but the reasoning, justifying and lying.

The male ego is a powerful thing, and when we get the attention (or find our way to make the attention come our way) from women, we sometimes get a high off of that. Behavior like this, or any form of lying, old habits, etc. is something that bring us closer to the bottle, not further.

I think that the fact you posted about it is great - you're being honest about it. And I get the feeling you know what it is you need to do. Let go of the ego and focus on your recovery...it's the most important thing you have.

Cheers

Boleo

It ain't "Old Behavior" if you are still doing it.

Db1105

You can stop what you're doing that's making you feel guilty.

soberclover

Focus on your sobriety instead. Problems that come up in relationships are one of the main reasons why people relapse. Why would you intentionally set yourself up for a relapse. I also would talk with your sponsor honestly about this given that you go to AA meetings. It sounds like you already know you are setting yourself up for a relapse though. If you are trying to get clean and sober, clearly you are making changes in your life....stay focused on what is important...you!