hooleydooley

I know I need to stop drinking but I don't know where to start.

Thing is, I know I drink too much, but I'm trapped in a vicious cycle, I have a really stressful job, so when I come home in the evenings i feel like I need a drink to unwind, the only problem is that one becomes two, becomes three, becomes four and before you know it I'm awake in the middle of the night thinking about what a mess I am, how bad this is for my liver, that I'm going to go to work tired and hungover.

I want to be one of those people who is strong enough to say to themselves and others "No, actually I don't drink" but I don't know where to start, I don't know that i have the self-discipline to give up.

LexieCat

Hi there,

I drank just like you--I went through wretched withdrawals every day until I could get home and pour that first drink--often before I even took off my coat.

A couple of thoughts. First, you have to safely detox. The best way to do that is to do it medically supervised. Talk to your doctor--and be HONEST about how much you have been drinking.

As for quitting, as difficult as it may seem to you, quitting is the easy part for most people--the harder part is STAYING stopped. If you don't find something to replace whatever alcohol does for you (in my case numbing out uncomfortable feelings), then you are likely to eventually pick up a drink again.

I found that AA is a great way to learn to live sober, happily. I committed to 90 meetings my first 90 days of sobriety. I am now four and a half years sober and have not found it necessary to pick up a drink since I quit. I found that all those meetings in the beginning got me focused on my recovery, gave me a place where I had to be every evening (when I would otherwise have been drinking), and I went to bed each night knowing I had done something to reinforce my recovery.

Congratulations on your decision to quit. I just LOVE saying, "No, thanks, I don't drink."

topspin

Welcome to SR Hooley.

You've made a good start by coming here and posting.

I felt the same way about feeling "trapped in a vicious cycle"

Many, many folks here have found a way to break free.

Please read some of the "stickies" . There are various methods folks are using.

just wanted to welcome you, and offer any support I can.

Even though I didn't seek medical help detoxing, I can really , really see how it would've been the best thing I could've done ( in retrospect)

Just know , you can do this.

My addictive voice used to fill me with all kinds of doubt, for years, and years.

This forum helped me so...ooooo much those first few months . ( I work nights and was able to take advantage of the activity here because folks post here from all over the world, while the locals (here) are snoozing away !?!

Adillac

Go see a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist. Check out non-12 step programs. Some peope can quit drinking with the understanding of "I need to quit drinking". And for those the above avenues will probably suffice. For some however, when all other methods had failed, they benefited from AA. The words we use are often more important than we think: "I want to quit drinking" is different than "I need to quit drinking". The fact that you're on here reaching out, albeit probably drunk, is a good sign. Some people never reach out (my brother for example). Godspeed.

BruceJ

Personally, self-reliance didn't work. I tried for years. I wanted to be "strong" enough to quit on my own.
For me, the principles in the AA program worked.
Maybe try a few meetings....listen for the similarities and ignore the differences. It is a life-changer for many.
All the best.

doggonecarl

It starts by not drinking. I'm not trying to sound flippant. You quit drinking and then find a recovery method that will keep you quit.

Coming here was a great start. To what lengths are you willing to go to stay sober?

exponential

I found a doctor who was willing to supervise detox on an outpatient basis -- he gave me some benzodiazepines and I called him each day and it was no big deal. Despite having been a pretty heavy drinker over a long period of time, I have never had any kind of physical withdrawal symptoms, other than feeling lousy for a day or two.

Psychologists and counselors have been helpful to me, although I found that I needed to seek out those who were knowledgeable specifically about alcohol dependence. In any case it is good to have someone (outside of family) to be accountable to as you plan and maintain a sobriety program. It is very difficult to do all by yourself.

TimD

I was in the same vicious cycle for a long time. At the end the cycle became a death spiral because I drank constantly. You've taken a big step by making a decision to get help. Many never do.

I tried and tried and couldn't do it by myself. I definitely didn't have the self-discipline, but when I asked for help I began to get better.

MrTumble

Hooley, from reading your first post, I suspect you wont have physical withdrawal.

I think what made a difference for me, was just the sheer build up of feeling like hell, feeling like i was letting myself and my family down, just basically feeling like a loser. I was also waking every day at around 4am, when the hangover and the baaaad emotional feelings would kick in. Then stay awake till about 7 and finally get 1 hour sleep before going work, looking like hell and underperforming.

ive been quit for some time now, i dont wake feeling like that, i feel calm, happy, actually very happy that I dont have all the hell every day.

Give it a shot, you might find its the best thing you ever did.

TrixMixer

.....and now do you feel your home is your refuge from the world of stress. Like if I can just get myself home, then I can chill out with the 6,8,10, drinks until I pass out. All the while thinking " who can blame me , how much stress can one person take".

Yep been there, and it is the worse thing ever to wake up around 3 in the am and realize I had to go back to that stress and do this all over again in a couple of hours. .....but frankly this is what finally got to me. I was just so tired of being forced to think clearly on a damaged brain, the energy it took, just zapped the life out of me. The only thing I was good for was passing out. No more social life, no more friends, no more parties, no more phone conversations, I had become a drunk recluse. just me, myself, and I!
When the party stops you know your time has come to get sober. Even I did not want to be locked away with me.

Ya think a light would of gone off then, but Nooooo, I had to drive into someones bathroom, dragging a tree behind my car while making my escape. What the hell is wrong with us, it's like we are in the crowd scene of the Walking Dead!