ashleyshr

From an A's stand point, if there was anything that would have helped you in your journey from family members and friends what would it have been? I know that it has to come from him. I just wonder what is going on in his head....

mackat

to be allowed to hit some kind of bottom- i was enabled for quite a while
mackat

Dan

Yep, sounds cruel to some, but mac's right. I never found it in me to get help until it hurt bad enough.

1Marty

Definately agree, Hitting rock bottom is an unfortunate thing that must often happen with this disease in order for recovery to occur. For me, I think it would have possibly helped if my wife didn't try to help cover up my drinking. Maybe I would have hit rock bottom sooner I she would have been honest to family and friends.

Janet L

I can tell you what didn't help: marking bottles, making me limit the number of drinks, making me pour out all the liquor, yelling, sulking, guilt trips, recriminations, taking away the car keys, taking the check book ...I'm sure there was more. My husband finally let go (surrendered to my alcoholism), and let me hit my bottom. It was all he could do.

The Jay Walker

Yep

we need to hit our bottom alright,
one thing I know you can do, is get to Alanon.

Chy

Ditto! No matter how loving, supportive, threatening or disappointed, nothing, and I mean nothing anyone said, even from the ones that love me most would have helped. We all get there when WE can admit we have no choice but to surrender to the addiction.

ashleyshr

Thank-you for your insight- I like to hear it straight from the horses mouth, that's more support to me then anything!One day it will be him on here and not me. I enjoy hearing your comments, to really know what goes on inside. Alanon can help me cope but they are not you who has gone through the motions. Thank you for always sharing!

Dan

I've said it before. Ask an AA or NA to share, you better pull up a chair!

In memory of miracle

I agree with all of the above when my family cut me loose it hurt but it did speed up the crash! I feel ya on both sides my sis is an addict and I just cut her loose it is a painful process but with the support I have recieved here at SR and my aa group its been possible for me to take care of myself and be reasonably happy in spite of whats goin on outside of me ! Take care of yourself! Peace and Prayers to you-Trish.. :boat

Chy

Ahsley,

I noticed, you wondered what was "going on in his head". If it's like most, he know's he is powerless over his drinking. He is afraid of sobriety, because he doesn't know how to be real without the liquid courage, or hopefully he's not a violent drunk, but can only express his emotional turmoil by being angry, venemous, etc.

I am sure like us all he dialogues with himself everyday, "gotta quit, gotta quit, no more, had enough, I'll show them I can do this,... oopss but wait.. I've been good, I can have a reward,... damn, I did it again." Imagine that running through your head as the main topic of discussion for yourself for years and years!!

I'm saying, he knows, he really does, but is probably afraid.

Abugslife

I can't imagine that Chy. But I had wondered myself if As really know there is a problem all along. Now I know, no doubt a most difficult journey for anyone addicted to alcohol. That I have known for a long time. My hat goes off to all of you that make it and continue to stay sober.

MootPoint

Firstly, ditto what Chy said.

Secondly....... Abugslife said..."But I had wondered myself if As really know there is a problem all along."
------------I knew i had a problem most of my drinking career. And it was a career...... it was what i did with my life. But, it took one h@ll of a rock bottom for me to realize and actually quit.