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Overcoming Ambivalence to Change

Old 02-10-2013, 10:23 PM
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All is Change
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Overcoming Ambivalence to Change

I had a look at this site :

http://www.choosehelp.com/alcohol-re...ence-to-change

in trying to find some answers to 'Alcoholic Ambivalence' .

This may be helpful for
''Many people delay or avoid alcoholism treatment for a couple of reasons:

1 You feel like you can’t succeed
2 You have some ambivalence about changing ''

the article is by :
John Lee
Editor

and it's headed:
Are You Ready to Quit Drinking? Overcoming Ambivalence to Change
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:38 AM
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Interesting article.
This may be a straw-man analogy but it sort of reminds me of stories about people being released from prison. Upon release, some miss the misery and want to return. Luckily, with recovering people, we have programs, such as AA, that show us how to change and enjoy life.
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:33 PM
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All is Change
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I don't think it's a straw-man argument. I think you are right but it is not the whole picture of course.

I think it has to do with a number of related issues like 'comfort zone', 'fear of change', 'fear of the unknown', 'loss', 'grief' which when I think about it has a lot to do with just 'change', 'something different'.
I find change uncomfortable.
It has been comfortable for me to be a member of this forum a few years, Becoming an active member has been uncomfortable. However in the process of the few days I've been active I, while being shaken out of my comfort zone, have learnt more about myself and a lot hasn't been comfortable yet, I think, being able to deal with that (without booze) is what I need.
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:50 PM
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I think ambivalence is inherent in the nature of addiction. It is only when we try to quit or moderate that addiction becomes evident, otherwise we are just drinking whenever the heck we please.

AVRT addresses this phenomenon specifically, and provides a framework for both understanding and eliminating this alcoholic ambivalence.
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:35 AM
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Without wanting to out myself as a complete ignoramus (ha!) I didn't even truly understand what ambivalence meant until I started reading about AVRT.

One one hand you want to quit drinking.
One the other you don't.

Yes that's me I realised! Just the understanding more about it has helped me immensely.

I actually thought ambivalence meant not caring. Heads back to school >>>>>>>>
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Old 02-12-2013, 06:26 AM
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It was by outing himself as a complete ignoramus that Socrates was declared by the Oracle of Delphi The Wisest. (Though I suppose that begs the question of as she knew this she was in fact the wisest.) No mind, you're in good company.
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Old 02-12-2013, 06:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Grymt View Post
It was by outing himself as a complete ignoramus that Socrates was declared by the Oracle of Delphi The Wisest. (Though I suppose that begs the question of as she knew this she was in fact the wisest.) No mind, you're in good company.
I'll settle for that lol. You've made my day
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:18 AM
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For some the problem might be overcoming ambivalence to change. For many others, what needs to be overcome is the fear to change.

When faced with just how complete a change is necessary to recover from drugs and alcohol addiction, the newly sober often balk. For change is literally the death of one's old life in favor of a new.

But change we must.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by MyTimeNow View Post
Without wanting to out myself as a complete ignoramus (ha!) I didn't even truly understand what ambivalence meant until I started reading about AVRT. <snip>

I actually thought ambivalence meant not caring. Heads back to school >>>>>>>>
D'oh! So did I, till I just read your post!
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:59 PM
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I think the problem with long term quitting is that the memory of the cons start to fade. In a way, so do the pros (lack of hangovers etc).

At Day 32, it seems to me the list of pros needs to be continuously supplemented by new items - almost replacements for the original list of stopping. If this doesn't happen perhaps this is what a dry drunk is. (I'm just guessing, but its a fear that I'll turn into one).


I hate change.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:07 PM
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I had 8 days not drinking and now 8 days drinking. That 8 days was the first 8 days in row in about 7 years. I so sick of this and yet each day I buy another bottle. I don't feel well. I don't look well and my home and work lives are suffering and yet..... What a thing to have to deal with. And I know if I don't deal with it soon, it will deal with me. I keep telling a friend who has been sober with a couple of brief stumbles for the past 4 years that I need to quit. He keeps telling me he wants to hear may say I want to quit.
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Old 02-14-2013, 08:59 AM
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I am checking out of here. I read a lot where there is support, words of encouragement, etc for many posters who are at some stage of recovery/stopping/relapsing. To be truthful, I read where people keep saying just keep reading and posting and we are here for you. That has not been my experience. If I have offended in any way, my apologies. I have to make this happen for my and for my family, and I fully am working harder than I ever have before to make this happen. Maybe, hopefully, god willing, I will get there. Until then, my best to all of you.

Steve
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Old 02-14-2013, 09:42 AM
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rockindog,

Sorry that you have not found this forum supportive. All I can see is that you posted on a thread which was discussing ambivalence and didn't get a reply for a few hours.

I think you will get a wealth of experience if you post on the Newcomers forum, or start your own thread here.

Keep posting.
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