She Died
Recovered
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
She Died
There was a posse of us...all getting sober back in '09. Five of us clung to each other for dear life, eating out, going to meetings, and trying to stay away from the bottle. We had each other on speed dial and gave each other rides to meetings and advice on how to work a program of recovery.
Last night was such a dichotomy. I was at a celebration for one of us: she has 4 years sober this week. What a dream. 4 out of the 5 of us were there. It was then, at that gathering, that I found out that the 5th one of us had died Thursday night. From liver failure. As a result of drinking. And it ain't no painless death. Dying from alcoholic liver failure is a miserable and agonizing way to die.
She drank herself to death. I have a photo of the 5 of us hanging out. I could look at any one of those faces and say, it could have been me, or her, or her. My friend did the ultimate service work so that we could stay sober today.
You will be missed, my friend. I love you. I'm so glad that you were in my life.
*sigh*
Last night was such a dichotomy. I was at a celebration for one of us: she has 4 years sober this week. What a dream. 4 out of the 5 of us were there. It was then, at that gathering, that I found out that the 5th one of us had died Thursday night. From liver failure. As a result of drinking. And it ain't no painless death. Dying from alcoholic liver failure is a miserable and agonizing way to die.
She drank herself to death. I have a photo of the 5 of us hanging out. I could look at any one of those faces and say, it could have been me, or her, or her. My friend did the ultimate service work so that we could stay sober today.
You will be missed, my friend. I love you. I'm so glad that you were in my life.
*sigh*
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I am sorry for your loss and I do understand.
When I got sober there were 7 of us that all got sober within a 3 month period.
We hung out together and yes back then had each other on speed dial. Slowly
we 'lost' some of us. I do so well understand the feelings of 'losing one of the
close group.'
I can happily report thought that there are still 4 of us and even though we all live
in different areas of the country we do still keep in touch. There are 4 of us, and in
the next few months we will all celebrate 32 years of sobriety.
So, grieve for your friend, know that She is now out of her torment, and can guide
you from the other side.
Love and hugs,
When I got sober there were 7 of us that all got sober within a 3 month period.
We hung out together and yes back then had each other on speed dial. Slowly
we 'lost' some of us. I do so well understand the feelings of 'losing one of the
close group.'
I can happily report thought that there are still 4 of us and even though we all live
in different areas of the country we do still keep in touch. There are 4 of us, and in
the next few months we will all celebrate 32 years of sobriety.
So, grieve for your friend, know that She is now out of her torment, and can guide
you from the other side.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I'm sorry for your friend, her family, for you.
Are you planning on attending the funeral?
Hold on to your nice memories, the ones where you were all not drinking and all pulling together to support each other. And be happy you have those times to think of.
Are you planning on attending the funeral?
Hold on to your nice memories, the ones where you were all not drinking and all pulling together to support each other. And be happy you have those times to think of.
.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
As everyone else has stated, I'm sorry for your loss. There's an insensitive cliche that goes around AA regarding this, but I won't post it. If interested I had a somewhat similar experience regarding the death of a friend that I wrote about in my only blog. I think it ebodies the thought behind the cliche. And shows how the death of others might sometimes not be completely for naught.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Thank you for sharing your pain here. I have liver issues that I was told I have to quit. I have struggled and through your story I found a little more strength today.
I am sorry for your loss.
Ken
I am sorry for your loss.
Ken
Recovered
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
Thank you so much everyone. It's been a long and emotional day. A lot of crying. A lot of laughing. A lot of gratitude. Our AA community is very tight knit and everyone is affected in one way or another.
She died so far away, in Louisiana, and I won't be able to go to the funeral. I sent a card today to the family.
Joe Nerv, your blog post was very moving. I could relate to the torment and hopelessness.
I went to a meeting tonight and as the speaker was sharing, I looked down the row from where I sat. Two sober women, who I took through the steps, sat next to me. I have one day at a time to help another newcomer receive the gift that I have been given. Grace. I'm just so grateful.
Thank you, my SR family, for letting me share.
She died so far away, in Louisiana, and I won't be able to go to the funeral. I sent a card today to the family.
Joe Nerv, your blog post was very moving. I could relate to the torment and hopelessness.
I went to a meeting tonight and as the speaker was sharing, I looked down the row from where I sat. Two sober women, who I took through the steps, sat next to me. I have one day at a time to help another newcomer receive the gift that I have been given. Grace. I'm just so grateful.
Thank you, my SR family, for letting me share.
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