Breathing Space to Plan My Recovery
Hears The Voice
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Breathing Space to Plan My Recovery
8 days sober, which is a good run for me. From these forums, and Weasel1966 in particular, I learned the concept of looking at my Alcoholic Voice as a separate entity. I can compartmentalize him. I can hate him. I can imagine torturing him in vengeance for the years he has stolen from me.
I find it empowering. I don't have to cower from him or feel sorry for myself when he tells me its not fair that I can't drink; that I deserve a drink; that I can enjoy just a few; that one more binge doesn't matter. I can fight back. I can yell at him. I can tell him to go f### himself. I can call him out for the liar he is.
I know it won't last, though. While it is filling me full of resolve and helping to keep me sober today, I can't be angry forever. I know this. It is not a long term solution. Eventually I have to resolve the sick irony that I share a body with my mortal enemy. But, it's buying me some time.
Time to make a recovery plan. I have stopped/moderated/taken a break dozens of times before. I've been to AA meetings. I've been to out-patient rehab. A permanent solution will require different action on my part.
I ordered some books on rational recovery. I called a counselor to make an appointment. (He was supposed to call me back, but didn't, so I will be calling him again today.) Tonight I am going to put my AV on an exercise bike until his legs burn and ache. Then I am going to make him sit through an AA meeting. He hates that.
I find it empowering. I don't have to cower from him or feel sorry for myself when he tells me its not fair that I can't drink; that I deserve a drink; that I can enjoy just a few; that one more binge doesn't matter. I can fight back. I can yell at him. I can tell him to go f### himself. I can call him out for the liar he is.
I know it won't last, though. While it is filling me full of resolve and helping to keep me sober today, I can't be angry forever. I know this. It is not a long term solution. Eventually I have to resolve the sick irony that I share a body with my mortal enemy. But, it's buying me some time.
Time to make a recovery plan. I have stopped/moderated/taken a break dozens of times before. I've been to AA meetings. I've been to out-patient rehab. A permanent solution will require different action on my part.
I ordered some books on rational recovery. I called a counselor to make an appointment. (He was supposed to call me back, but didn't, so I will be calling him again today.) Tonight I am going to put my AV on an exercise bike until his legs burn and ache. Then I am going to make him sit through an AA meeting. He hates that.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Sounding determined and focused here, Nonsensical. You know what you need to do, and it is the opposite of what your habituated alcoholic voice is telling you to do.
If you define your AV as any thought of drinking again or doubt in your ability to attain and maintain sobriety for good (because that is indeed the definition), I think we have a winner here. That is AV for sure.
What a load of hooey. Of course it can last, and of course it is a long term solution. You can choose to never drink, ever again. The niggler in the cheap seats will tell you that you can't, if you could do this you would have done it by now, that you will fail. All that sounds to me like an instruction manual to keep drinking.
This starts and ends with a belief in yourself. It is only if this belief falters that you will drink again. So set your confidence in yourself at maximum volume, assign every thought of drinking again or doubt in yourself to your addiction, and demand of yourself what you deserve. What you deserve is a life free of addiction, and with your own measure of peace and self respect. Onward!
I know it won't last, though. It's not a long term solution.
What a load of hooey. Of course it can last, and of course it is a long term solution. You can choose to never drink, ever again. The niggler in the cheap seats will tell you that you can't, if you could do this you would have done it by now, that you will fail. All that sounds to me like an instruction manual to keep drinking.
This starts and ends with a belief in yourself. It is only if this belief falters that you will drink again. So set your confidence in yourself at maximum volume, assign every thought of drinking again or doubt in yourself to your addiction, and demand of yourself what you deserve. What you deserve is a life free of addiction, and with your own measure of peace and self respect. Onward!
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
As I understand it Nonsenisical is referring to a valuable mindframe re anger that is not a permanent solution. there is a hint of something
"I know it won't last, though. While it is filling me full of resolve and helping to keep me sober today, I can't be angry forever. I know this. It is not a long term solution. Eventually I have to resolve the sick irony that I share a body with my mortal enemy. But, it's buying me some time.''
Ultimately there can be a resolution. I think that's on the path. The path is lined with rest stops. If it works to pause in a place for a while to make the next step it's got value.
Perhaps a key here is to contemplate love? It's the opposite of hate. Love is also acceptance. It can put things in perspective and this monster becomes a rather amusing little thing yapping for attention.
Be happy.
"I know it won't last, though. While it is filling me full of resolve and helping to keep me sober today, I can't be angry forever. I know this. It is not a long term solution. Eventually I have to resolve the sick irony that I share a body with my mortal enemy. But, it's buying me some time.''
Ultimately there can be a resolution. I think that's on the path. The path is lined with rest stops. If it works to pause in a place for a while to make the next step it's got value.
Perhaps a key here is to contemplate love? It's the opposite of hate. Love is also acceptance. It can put things in perspective and this monster becomes a rather amusing little thing yapping for attention.
Be happy.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Nonsensical, I agree that anger is not a long term answer, and that ultimately acceptance is the way forward.
If you are interested in AVRT, take a look at SR's Secular Connections forum. There is a very active discussion of all sorts of self-empowerment ideas concerning sobriety there, including an AVRT discussion thread of over 2000 posts.
You might also like this take on AVRT Explained.
If you are interested in AVRT, take a look at SR's Secular Connections forum. There is a very active discussion of all sorts of self-empowerment ideas concerning sobriety there, including an AVRT discussion thread of over 2000 posts.
You might also like this take on AVRT Explained.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Nonsensical.... Glad you are finding SR so useful. I never knew anything about this whole other way of dealing with my addictions until I spent time reading here and about AVRT.
No method of recovery will work if we put blinders on. We both proved that as I have been to rehab(s) and AA and still drank and used. So AVRT is no silver bullet.
But AVRT and the concept of AV made me feel like I had some control over this. I can make a choice. I have the power to ignore that voice.
And yes.... The box and tape are alway at arms length!
It can last. Period.
No method of recovery will work if we put blinders on. We both proved that as I have been to rehab(s) and AA and still drank and used. So AVRT is no silver bullet.
But AVRT and the concept of AV made me feel like I had some control over this. I can make a choice. I have the power to ignore that voice.
And yes.... The box and tape are alway at arms length!
It can last. Period.
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