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46 days sober.....

Old 02-03-2013, 08:02 PM
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46 days sober.....

Hello.... I have 46 days going sober and things are going well.. I go to meetings, sponsor, and am again doing the steps.. I have to admit though, lately or specifically tonite - I have been feeling like I am missing something.. not the drinking and the drama it causes, more like "socially" meetings aren't enough. I did go to an AA superbowl party..... I guess it's that lonely feeling that I got rid off when I drank. at that point i was just wasted and did not mind being isolated and by myself. Does anybody with a little time in feel this too? Don't get me wrong, I have lot's of other things I do.. play music, web and graphic design, kids.... just an emptiness this evening. sorry if i"m rambling.. thanks for reading.
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Old 02-03-2013, 08:40 PM
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Hello Petewill,
Welcome to the community. I felt the same way you did, early in my recovery. Now that I have over 5 years in recovery I find my world filled with true friends. I hardly have any 'spare' time. I never knew I could enjoy so many activities without having alcohol or drugs involved. You will find things that you like to do also.
46 days is fantastic.....any day an alcoholic doesn't drink is a gift. I am glad to be on the journey with you. Keep up the good work, it's working
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Old 02-04-2013, 03:42 AM
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I absolutely know what that feeling is like. I was getting it often in early recovery - it wasn't that I wanted to drink or anything like that, but there was like an emptiness, something not there...missing. It was in working the steps that I saw it was the true sense and faith and feeling of my Higher Power that filled in the hole. It was prayer and meditation. Listening to myself. No amount of hobbies or new friends could fill that void. It was getting in touch with my HP through the work of the steps and having that conscious contact that really helped me. Might sound a bit airy fairy, but that is what it was for me. Since I have come to that place of being aware, of waking up (so to speak), I rarely get that feeling...and if I do, it's because I am not doing the things that keep me in fit spiritual conditions. Working with others is the big one too...the minute I started working with others, that hole closed up even more...getting out of self.

You're on the right path, and in getting that spiritual awakening, you'll find you won't feel that way any more, or nearly as much as you do now. We used alcohol to fill that void...pointless, eh?

All the best
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:15 AM
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yea i feel that too. it seems like i am searching for something for me. i isolated my self. friends are difficult for me to make, so alcohol really isolated me. besides from work, i dont see some one in a friendship way for weeks at a time.
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Old 02-05-2013, 07:07 AM
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thanks for the reply's.. Yeah, it seems the answer is in working the steps. Good thing I am open-minded enough to try this again.. lol... I can't complain though, things are going well, with NO drama....
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Old 02-05-2013, 07:27 AM
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Originally Posted by paul99 View Post
I absolutely know what that feeling is like. I was getting it often in early recovery - it wasn't that I wanted to drink or anything like that, but there was like an emptiness, something not there...missing. It was in working the steps that I saw it was the true sense and faith and feeling of my Higher Power that filled in the hole. It was prayer and meditation. Listening to myself. No amount of hobbies or new friends could fill that void. It was getting in touch with my HP through the work of the steps and having that conscious contact that really helped me. Might sound a bit airy fairy, but that is what it was for me. Since I have come to that place of being aware, of waking up (so to speak), I rarely get that feeling...and if I do, it's because I am not doing the things that keep me in fit spiritual conditions. Working with others is the big one too...the minute I started working with others, that hole closed up even more...getting out of self.

You're on the right path, and in getting that spiritual awakening, you'll find you won't feel that way any more, or nearly as much as you do now. We used alcohol to fill that void...pointless, eh?

All the best
Well said Paul. Reading the OP what came to mind was the classic case of a "God-sized hole."
Keep it up Pete! Life will get great if you work the program!
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:06 AM
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we also have to learn to be compfortable with our boredom. Boredom is okay (for abit)
its in that time we can reflect.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:25 AM
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Petewill, one of the most difficult things I had to deal with was the loneliness. When I drank, I had a large drinking crew and it was a big party 4 to 5 days a week. When I quit, I lost all of that. It was tough.

I made friends in AA, but like you say, that doesn't quite fill the gap. BUT, it will; it just takes some time. You're still new in recovery so your life is going through major changes. It's hard leaving a social network. But, it's worth it in the long run. I wouldn't give up my life now for anything.
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