caboblanco

how do you guys feel about rumors and gossipy neighbors. within my community where I live I'm sort of isolated. There are a lot of old people and I'm 32. my friends don't live that close. I noticed about a year ago that people started looking at me and treating me different around my area. I would get long faces and judgmental tone and looks. After this started happening I started bringing my empties to another garbage bin so my neighbors couldn't see it. Someone tried to break in my house a while ago. I told my two older neighbors which were outside and one obviously didn't believe me. She thought I was drunk and hallucinating. There have been other things as well. I don't know how it got out that I drink a lot because I would never walk around or interact while drinking. I might be paranoid, but Im very intuitive about these things. I live alone which makes it worse. baaah I just hate finger pointers and judgmental people

caboblanco

oh an I have been sober for over 3 weeks now

LexieCat

Stay sober and any gossip or speculation will peter out pretty fast. There's always some fresher, juicier scandal than some guy who used to have a lot of empty booze bottles in the bin.

MrTumble

you probably got rat-arsed one night, danced around naked in the street, doing a chicken strutt and cant remember it.

put it down as another reason to quit the booze ;-)

caboblanco

damn Tumble. I never did that. did u?

WritingFromLife

Judgmental people don't matter, and people that matter don't judge. That sounds a bit harsh--everyone matters of course...but you get the drift.

I agree if you keep going in the right direction, all that will fade away. They no longer have any fuel.

I hope you can remember it is truly their insecurities that cause them to judge you--not you. I like to think I don't judge people these days----I can tell you the times i have, it really was about me, not them--and boy did I learn a lesson when I got to know the person I was judging and they did nothing but treat me with love, kindness and respect. I felt like a heel.

One more thing...I have judged people in the past and then at some point ended up exactly in their shoes. Karma? Hmmmm.

In other words...keep doing what you are doing--their snide looks are immature and sad. Look up! That's where you are headed!

TrixMixer

AH Yes "THE OLD ONES"--They come with EVERY neighborhood---Your young, they are always looking to find something wrong with "The Young Ones".

They do not need a reason to Look at You Funny---they are on their way out and want to make You miserable while they are waiting ..............

It probably has nothing to do with your drinking, Like they don't have Issues?????

Ya know I am 61 and when I was your age I though the same thing about my "elderly" neighbors--now I'm considered the ELDERLy neighbor.....rude awakening!

Stay Strong / Stay Sober
TrixMixer

P.S. __For what it's worth we have all done the "Dumpster Circuit" , It's one of our rituals that someday in sobriety you can laugh about!!

Eddie2010

One day I caught my older retired neighbor going through my garbage apparently looking at all the beer cans. Neighbors gossip. Eventually they'll move on to something else.

Just take care of yourself and soon they'll just be wishing they were your age again.

Happiness is the best revenge!

WithoutFear

It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.

("Lawrence G. Lovasik"}

aasharon90

That sad thing too is people still
gossip even if ur clean or sober.

sugarbear1

I was pretty paranoid at the end of my drinking, still not sure what was real and what was my own making/perception and delusional thinking!

Stay stopped and things should calm down

escapist

I just cleaned out dozen or so liquor bottles from my bedroom. Just one room! I can imagine what the trash will look like. I dont care. I have a busybody across the street from me. I smile and wave to her every time I see her. If I am going to be the pariah at least I can be a friendly one. The only judge I have to worry about is God.

HereIAm321

I used to care. Now I don't give a flying f*ck what people think of me.

Their problem, not mine.

Happier

I personally find a lot of comfort in the old saying "What other people think of me is none of my business." I truly am happier not wasting my energy nor my "emotional capital" on it.

I understand though and can relate. My perception of what I assume others might be thinking of me can still bother me if I give it a foothold. However, I am getting better and quickly putting those thoughts away when they do try to pop into my head.

Wishing you peace in your situation.

robgt350

sorry to hear this, i had a neighbor like that and say things like your did. as much as i wanter to tell her to F OFF,, i bit my tongue, i just stopped talking to them. soon i stated talking to others.
but i think in time they will talk about other people and not you

Justfor1

I use to recycle my empty beer cans. I would haul them to the junk yard & made pretty good money. I use to buy cheap 30 pack of beer & was getting .60cents per pound. I used it as an excuse to tell people that I was "self-employed" & a business owner.

Huglets

Yep...I know exactly how you feel. I've lived in my house for 10 years and most of those years as an active drunk. Never did ANYTHING outside without being intoxicated, especially mowing the grass. Nothing gives a drunk away faster than mow lines that zig zag....

Went through a horrible relapse that ended in November with the police & ambulance at my house. Twice within 3 days. I was subsequently fired from my job. So....you don't think my neighbors noticed the police & ambulance coupled with the fact that I've been home 24/7 for the past 4 months?!?

I was out in the yard last week and saw the stares and heard the whispers. I was devastated for a few hours. Then I realized that it doesn't matter what they think. I know I'm clean & sober now and in time they'll see the same thing.

I know it hurts our ego but it truly doesn't matter what others think. Keep on your sobriety journey and the rest will work itself out.

Deluxe

Amen to that Brother! I would pick my son up from school and the "Mummy Mafia" as the teachers call them would gossip away like crazy. Not a thing I could do. None of them had anything interesting to say anyway.

LonerMan

I've lived most of my life in smaller communities (lived in WLA for years, too. Hi ya Ohio St!), I am a Loner, I work in a small community of knuckleheads, I ride loud, I work out big, I've a foul mouth and a dirty mind.

If you think people are talking about you, they probably are.

Elisabeth888

I agree with whoever said they will forget about it once you get sober.

My neighbors knew also, I am pretty sure. But they know I am better now, so it is all good.

Are you taking care of you?