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john44 02-03-2013 07:32 AM

Four quarters
 
A funny little anecdote from last night that I think may have been important to me.

I got out of the hospital Thursday. I'm still not feeling well so I haven't gone anywhere except the meeting. My son has been buying groceries for us on my debit card and I haven't bothered getting any cash. Last night before the meeting I realized I didn't have a dollar to put in the basket at the meeting.

But I did have four quarters.

Like most people I throw my change in a drawer/can and usually have at least several dollars in there. My first thought was to ask my sponsor for a dollar for the change so that I wouldn't have to put the change in the basket. Then I stopped. What would be so bad about putting four quarters in the basket?

This was my problem (one of them, anyway). Pride. Ego. Lack of humility. Wanting to show the world a face that wasn't quite honest.

I stacked my quarters in front of me at the start of the meeting and threw them in with a loud clank when the basket came around.

JakeDennert 02-03-2013 08:23 AM


Originally Posted by john44 (Post 3803211)
A funny little anecdote from last night that I think may have been important to me.

I got out of the hospital Thursday. I'm still not feeling well so I haven't gone anywhere except the meeting. My son has been buying groceries for us on my debit card and I haven't bothered getting any cash. Last night before the meeting I realized I didn't have a dollar to put in the basket at the meeting.

But I did have four quarters.

Like most people I throw my change in a drawer/can and usually have at least several dollars in there. My first thought was to ask my sponsor for a dollar for the change so that I wouldn't have to put the change in the basket. Then I stopped. What would be so bad about putting four quarters in the basket?

This was my problem (one of them, anyway). Pride. Ego. Lack of humility. Wanting to show the world a face that wasn't quite honest.

I stacked my quarters in front of me at the start of the meeting and threw them in with a loud clank when the basket came around.

What I've highlighted in bold?

I can really relate to that.

Reminds me of how most people are, even when they're sober. We wear social masks, and we're different people, depending on the situation we're in.

I realized I acted and thought a certain way when I was by myself... became someone else when I was around people that I knew... and became yet another version of myself when I was out in public, around lots of people I didn't know.

And when I made that realization, I felt that sitting by and not trying to do something to change it -- to try and make all three of those versions align into one complete version that I assumed all the time, regardless of situation -- was dishonest.

Not sure if that makes sense, the way I've just described it... but your post sparked that memory for me.

Good for you, John, for not exchanging those four quarters for a dollar bill. You had a chance to blend in, and you chose to stand out. Excellent.

:c011:

A dollar's a dollar, right?

How about showing up to another meeting with a silver dollar?

Bet that'd get a rise out of somebody. ;)

To living sober,

Jake D.

john44 02-03-2013 09:30 AM

Yeah, you get exactly what I was trying to say, Jake.

Guess what? I just talked to the guy my sponsor introduced me to last night. He's picking me up to go to a meeting tonight. I still haven't gotten to a cash machine yet. But I do have four quarters.

Leadfoot 02-03-2013 01:07 PM

I believe there's a parallel in the Bible about Jesus and the widow.

LexieCat 02-03-2013 01:14 PM

Good for you, John.

Our treasurer was out sick, last week, so I counted the money and I wound up with extra quarters. It was an odd amount, so I threw in another dollar and took out the quarters (I had to put the money in an envelope to give her this week, and I didn't want the change to rattle around and fall out in my pocketbook.

I'm sure your treasurer didn't mind the quarters at all.

Pataphor 02-03-2013 01:18 PM

I so know what you mean - I go to group therapy and my goal is to find/be my Authentic self - not the one I think they expect...and this is therapy !

john44 02-03-2013 01:25 PM


Originally Posted by Pataphor (Post 3803639)
I so know what you mean - I go to group therapy and my goal is to find/be my Authentic self - not the one I think they expect...and this is therapy !

Yeah...see, I used to be the kind of guy who had to walk around with a few hundred dollars in my pocket at all times. Why? Security? Flashiness? I haven't been like that for many years, but I guess a touch of Pride is still there. Kinda silly, really.

sugarbear1 02-03-2013 01:41 PM

putting money in the basket is not mandatory

LexieCat 02-03-2013 01:53 PM


Originally Posted by sugarbear1 (Post 3803674)
putting money in the basket is not mandatory

True. But if you WOULD put a buck in, NOT to put it in because it rattles rather than rustles is just what John recognized it to be.

john44 02-03-2013 02:11 PM


Originally Posted by sugarbear1 (Post 3803674)
putting money in the basket is not mandatory

Good point. I could be even more humble by being cheap. ;)

Maylie 02-03-2013 02:11 PM

I can really relate to this your post.

Just the other night my BF went into a store to get ice cream and handed the lady two dollars in quarters and I got so embarassed. I never thought to actually look and realize why it bothered me so much.

Thanks for the thought provoking post.

paul99 02-03-2013 02:18 PM

Nice, John. Whatever feels right when the basket comes around is fine. (As long as you're not taking from it! ;) )

sugarbear1 02-03-2013 04:51 PM

really, Paul? I've heard some announcements say something like....according to tradition 7....blah blah blah....."and if you need to, take what you need"

We still take in more money than we lose! And about enough to make rent and coffee!

If a person can't afford to put money in the basket, we don't want that money; it's not about being cheap.

A buck is what they put in the basket back in the late 1950's. If you look at inflation, no less than $3 should be put in today.

paul99 02-03-2013 05:05 PM

Never heard that announcement here, to be honest! it's amazing some of the denominations of bills in the basket at times, especially at medallions. But yeah, it's not mandatory at all.

john44 02-03-2013 06:56 PM

Lol! It just occurred to me. I'll bet every single person who clicked on this thread thought the topic would be about the Superbowl.:ring

escapist 02-03-2013 07:47 PM

I watched people buy booze with change. I was always wondering if I would do that. The answer is YES I SURE WOULD . The basket thing is weird. One time all I had were twenties. So I threw a twenty in. I do not watch what people do with the basket. I think they should have a donation box stationed somewhere instead of passing it around.


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