Halford

So alcoholism is a disease. Therefore someone is either an alcoholic or they aren't. I've heard some people say that if you have to ask if you're an alcoholic then you're an alcoholic. How does that make sense? It doesn't work that way with any other disease. If you ask yourself if you have cancer it doesn't mean you have cancer.

Whenever I do something stupid because of alcohol or drink so much I don't remember the previous night I always ask myself if i am an alcoholic. Am I an alcoholic or a light weight? That's what i ask myself. Do i have the disease?

I don't drink that often and I'm able to have a couple beers when I go out to dinner and it doesn't make me crave more beers. But every now and then i'll get really drunk and pass out.

After this happened a few times i became really aware of it and would watch my alcohol intake at parties. I started drinking just beer. I thought i was over with this nonsense happening again but about a week ago i was at a party with old friends and for some reason (maybe to fit in) i started drinking shots of whisky with everyone else. Well i got so drunk i passed out. I remember people carrying me to the taxi.

These episodes always happen in the same situation. I'll be at a party or family get together where i feel uncomfortable. I will drink faster than usual and then my judgement becomes very poor. In this instance i didn't eat dinner at the party. Either i forget to or was too drunk to realize i needed to. I don't even enjoy drinking in these situations.

I do enjoy drinking when i meet friends or co-workers at the pub for 2 or 3 pints and have some good banter. In this situations I don't overdo it. I walk home and i'm normally home in time for dinner. I meet friends like this maybe 3 times a month.

I want to keep this drinking activity and lose the reckless whisky shot and pass out nonsense. I thought i had it under control. I hadn't gotten drunk in maybe a year and it had been over 2 years since i had one of these passing out episodes.

No one in my family thinks I have a drinking problem.

I've seen the AA checklist where if you say yes to 3 of them you are definitely an alcoholic. Everyone i know would score 3 on that list, and I know for a fact that everyone i know is not an alcoholic.

is there any definitive markings for this disease we call alcoholism? If I have it, I should really not drink at all.

Dee74

I think people get really caught up on the alcoholic thing Halford.

If could speak to my old drinking self I would tell him if your drinking is negatively impacting your life, and you can't stop, then you have a problem and you need to do something about it.

I'm not sure it matters what your friends do either.
This is an individual problem

I surrounded myself with hard drinkers, alcoholics and drug addicts - I was not the biggest hardest or most reckless drinker in the gang - but I still nearly killed myself.

It's natural to want to disqualify yourself from having a problem. We've all done it.

Bottom line. If you can stop, stop.

if you can't, you might need to face the possibility you belong here Halford?

in any case, welcome

D

Sasha4

Does it matter?

If drink is making you unhappy and people you love unhappy, then why not see that it is a problem and whether it has a name or title or not, you just need to stop.

I have found that the longer I am sober, the more I reflect back on my drinking as a problem.

When I was drinking I would get rid of any thoughts of being an alcoholic with another drink or 20.

I wish you luck
xxxx

MrTumble

lol, yes, ive made the same comments myself when confronted with that thinking, it's a rather bonkers piece of logic. "I AM A MILLIONARE"... oh look, my pockets are filled with cash suddenly !!

I think the key here is to use your own common sense, there's lots of mythology and stuff surrounding quitting drinking and what works and doesnt. Most of that is due to us alkies trying to find excuses to start drinking again

Taking5

Please point me to this AA checklist. I've been in AA for years and never heard of it.

Alcoholism is a disease, not all diseases are caused by a virus or bacteria and you definitely have it or not. There is defintely some gray area there. For this reason, I think it is unimportant if you are diagnosed or not as alcoholic.

You can, surely, ask yourself "do I have an alcohol problem". If the answer is not "no", then you should consider doing something about it.

Good luck.

john44

I hope you're not an alcoholic. I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy. The devastation this has wreaked on me and my family is terrible.

Let me tell you a little about me. I have been saying that I didn't start drinking alcoholically until my 40's. I truly believed it. I've been getting honest about my situation lately because if I don't,I will die.

I've been looking back at my life and I realize now that although I didn't start having major consequences from drinking until my 40's, I have always had an alcoholic mind.

Sure, there were pleasant experiences drinking in my younger days but I would go overboard more often than normal drinkers. I've never really felt comfortable in my own skin. What spurred me to respond to your post is that you felt uncomfortable in situations, drank faster than normal. That was me many years ago. I'm not saying you're alcoholic but to me, these are warning signs. I wish I had your level of introspection years ago to question myself but I didn't.


So, keep it up. Question yourself. If you're not an alcoholic, great. But if you are and you're like me...in denial for so many years, pain and devastation await.

Tamerua

People always hear "disease" and automatically compare it to cancer. It should probably be compared more to depression or something similar to that.

To reiterate what was said above, the word doesn't matter. If it makes you unhappy, if it makes you forget, say things you wouldn't say, behave in a way that isn't you, it doesn't matter. You can always avoid it though. I had to do this. I'm glad I did too!

ru12

It is my opinion that alcoholism, I don't use that word myself but others do so I'll use it here, is a behavioral issue. It is no more a disease than smoking is a disease. They can both kill you, I'm not trying to minimize their impacts or the seriousness of the health effects. They both can cause plenty of diseases.

If you are drinking too much, then either moderate or stop. If you believe in the disease model for addiction then perhaps AA might be your thing. If you'd rather avoid it then try Rational Recover, or SMART, or simply put the bottle down and get on with your life. There is nothing magical in that bottle. It took me a long time to realize that.

FBL

I don't get hung up on labels. All I know is that my drinking was destroying my health, especially mentally. Being sober has made me a much happier person.

flutter

Maybe stop for a few months altogether and evaluate how you feel without it? Non-alcoholics can take it or leave it, those of us with addiction issues have a hard time with that. If eating Brussels sprouts was having the same negative effects on your health and life, I bet you wouldn't think twice about never eating them again

paul99

I was both.

As to your question, it's not my place to bestow upon you or anyone else the dented crown of "alcoholic". If you can stop after one or two and be fine with it, then that's great. For me, I start with one and I don't stop until I've passed out, been hospitalized or run out of booze. There was no witty banter, just oblivion. I drank too at social events. Many of us did to deal with not being able to deal with anxiety at these social events...or the feeling that we just couldn't relate to "normal" people.

Take some time to read the posts here at SR - read about the stories of what people have gone through and/or going through now. See if you relate - and I don't mean the war stories - read about the feelings, the way people coped (and didn't cope) and how they moved through them. See if you can relate. If not, then have a merry day. If so, stick around, maybe something will resonate and make you question your drinking habits. Lots of forums around here if you don't dig the AA way too.

Good luck

Zebra1275

don't know if am an alcoholic or an idiot

I don't think those categories are mutually exclusive.

Fernaceman

Only you can decided if you're an alcoholic or not. We come from all backgrounds. For me, it's the fact that drugs and alcohol controlled my life. When I drank, (on most occasions), I couldn't stop, even when my intentions were to just have a few. Sure, there were a few times here or there I would control it in certain situations, but most of the time I drank to oblivion. This was, of course, towards the end. Early on, I was just as you were, able to "leave it be" for a while in between episodes. But nevertheless, the episodes soon became more and more frequent.

There is an entire chapter in the big book devoted to diagnosing yourself. Only you can decide if you are or not. If alcohol is negatively affecting your life to the point of fear, anxiety, and depression, maybe it's time to reevaluate where you stand with it. If it is, and you find yourself unable to stop, there are solutions.

JakeDennert

I've highlighted the part that stands out to me the most, because that's exactly how I was.

Except for me, it started in high school. Not feeling comfortable around other students, wanting to fit in. Drinking made it better.

Started at parties... progressed pretty quickly to the point where I was drinking before and during the school day so I had the "more comfortable" feeling going all day long.

You mention family get-togethers... thought I'd share this real quick:

At an annual family Christmas party, my uncle offered me a drink. It was a huge deal. I was still underage, and home on some holiday leave from the Marine Corps.

Of course I accepted -- I mean I was happy to be home, happy to be around family, but I still wasn't comfortable, even around family, sober.

Started with one drink and didn't stop until I'd polished off his entire, previously unopened bottle of Absolut vodka.

Think the embarrassment that followed was enough for me to wake up and realize that I had a problem? No sir... proceeded to get my first DUI offense the following month.

Anyway, enough about me.

What you shared about drinking too much too quickly at a family gathering made me think of my own experience with it... thought I'd share.

Look, I'm no expert on alcoholism.

And honestly, I'm not qualified to give you a definitive yes/no answer to your question of whether you're an alcoholic.

What I can say is that your use of the word "uncomfortable" really resonated with me, and my personal reasons for drinking. You don't sound like you're anywhere near where I was when my problem was at its peak, but as others have already said, I'd see that "uncomfortable" thing as an early warning sign.

It should've been a huge clue for me. I didn't see it, though.

Sadly, it took more than one near-death experience before I was able to finally admit to myself that I had a serious problem with it.

And if you do have a problem, I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that for you.

Sorry I can't answer your questions... all I can do is share what I've been through.

Hope you find what you're looking for, Halford.

Jake D.

friday13

I think this may be the checklist Halford is referring to: Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?

fini

I've heard some people say that if you have to ask if you're an alcoholic then you're an alcoholic. How does that make sense? It doesn't work that way with any other disease.
Halford,
i think what people mean when they say this is that if you've been drinking in a way that leads you to question whether you're an alcoholic and behaving in ways when drinking that concern you/others or drinking to a point that's not "under control" and you're wondering whether you're an alcoholic, then....
the premise being that people who "drink normally" don't spend time asking themselves if they're alcoholic. they don't go on recovery forums to talk about it, is the idea.
if all that's so...who knows?
good for you for looking at it and yourself.
keep looking. do something about it if you don't like what you're seeing.

Halford

thanks for all the replies.


Today I went to a Super Bowl party. I didn't drink though. However, i witnessed a lot of binge drinking (amazing how much you notice when you're the sober one at a party). I wondered if every single one of them was an alcoholic. They were certainly engaging in behavior that would meet one of the requirements for alcoholism.

I think in some sense all people who regularly drink alcohol enter this grey area where their drinking at times is the cause of a problem. I've never known anyone who drinks alcohol that hasn't passed out or hasn't had a hangover so bad that they had to call in sick to work or school. Everyone who drinks at one time or another has drank too much and crossed some line.Likewise, everyone who drinks craves a drink.

isn't all drinking a habit? The question is when it goes from being a habit to alcoholism.

deeker

[QUOTE=Halford;3802883]So alcoholism is a disease. Therefore someone is either an alcoholic or they aren't. I've heard some people say that if you have to ask if you're an alcoholic then you're an alcoholic. How does that make sense? It doesn't work that way with any other disease. If you ask yourself if you have cancer it doesn't mean you have cancer.



Well I don't think non alcoholics question if they are alcoholics, they just know they are not.

paul99

Good question. Some people talk about crossing that invisible line - for me, I can't pinpoint it, but it didn't take long to get from social or moderate drinking into alcoholic drinking and thinking. For some it's a slow, subtle shift, for others, they jump into head first with reckless abandon. I picked up my first drink at 15, could take it or leave it for the next two years, and by 19 I knew something was going on with my alcohol use.

Gal220

It doesn't matter if you call yourself an alcoholic. I had never seen that link to the AA checklist before, but it seems like the only question that really matters is the last one: would your life be better without drinking?

If alcohol has caused you problems, you probably have an alcohol problem. So put it down. That's what normal drinkers do. If they realize alcohol is becoming a problem, they simply stop drinking. So the end result is the same whether you're an alcoholic or not. But if you are an alcoholic, you'll probably need some help. This is a great place to find it!