JakeDennert

Hi John,

I don't have any direct experience with relapsing, but I thought I'd chime in here anyway.

You may be feeling scared right now, but the act of not only coming clean on having that first drink again -- but confessing that you went back to a frequent drinking pattern -- that took guts, man.

I had to fight pretty hard the first year or two so that I didn't relapse... because I was worried that what happened to you would happen to me. That I couldn't end up having just one, that it'd become a problem again, that I'd return to what I was before.

And it's when I first had this thing "beat" that I felt my odds of relapsing were so high -- I felt like I had complete control over alcohol, that I could take it or leave it... felt strong because I'd been sober for quite a while.

The whole "one day at a time" thing has already been mentioned, but I think it's worth repeating. It's how I continue to view sobriety... and that, combined with a change in mindset that I'm now mentally stronger than those who drink (even the people who say they have no problem with controlling it -- if they do it regularly, they're still dependent on it).

So that's what's worked for me... not wanting to be weak, wanting to be strong, and taking things one day at a time.

Again, thank you for having the guts to come clean about it -- takes a man to admit his mistakes.

You're stronger for doing so, whether you feel like you are or not.

I wish you continued strength, and a lifetime of comfortable sobriety.

Should you ever feel like you're heading toward another relapse, of any kind (even if it's just one drink)... let me know, and I'll remind you again how much stronger you are without it.

To living sober,

Jake D.

TM75

Welcome back John

I admire your honesty and great to see you taking action this quickly. Relapse does sometimes happen (I know that all too well) and you need to dust yourself down and keep on trying. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Don't forget that we only fail when we stay lying down.

You're in my thoughts.

Toni

WithoutFear

John,

Thank you for having the courage to share your story. It was difficult for me to feel vulnerable at first (and reveal the shame I felt)...and it is for people like you on this SR site that give me strength, hope, and support.
I wish you and your family peace and hope as you move forward. I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank you again for helping me today.

Fallow

Glad you are back! Thanks for sharing your story its very important for me to hear it. I am a drink because I feel great guy. I am less so a drink because I feel bad guy. Ive done both.

The steps lead me to a great place of comfort. But only when Im working them in the order they are laid out. When I feel so good I start working the steps backward and cease involvement in fellowship and service I am in the 'danger zone'.

The good news is that now Im mindful of that and I can get honest about it. I learned it through relapsing. These days I dont go to as many meetings or call my sponsor every day like I once did. Because I feel great! When I feel so good I dont need them anymore is when I start calling alcoholics and doubling up on meetings. Its a fine line.

I need a balance between recovery and work and family. Its in constant flux. Recovery is number one though because without that I lose everything else.

Prayers sent!