Boogirl

I signed up here a few years ago, and was worried about my drinking. And here I am 2 years later at 30 years old, and I haven't been able to stop. It's ruining my life and I'm scared. My fathers side of the family is full of alcoholics. I get drunk 2-3 times a week, sometimes more, and drink ALOT. I'm only 120 pounds, I can probably out drink a 200 pound man. No one knows how bad it is for me, i look innocent, and healthy on the outside, but I'm not on the onside i HAVE a drinking problem. I've looked back at journals through the years, and I always write how much I want to stop and live a healthy life, for my two beautiful children and myself. But once several days go by after a binge and I feel healthy again, I drink again. I've tried to reach out to my mom, but she doesn't really like being bothered and makes that known. She loves me, I think, but when I reach out she is just is to busy, or gets annoyed. And my boyfriend of 4 years who i love very much, might leave me if he knew. And most of my friends are drinkers themselves and say I'm fine. Feel like I have no one to turn too, and I don't want this to get any worse than it already is, and want to live a long life. It's robbing me of my happiness anyway guess I felt like talking about it, and doing it online seems to be my only way. Just wish I would stop, it's hard though :/

foothillfancy

I know how you feel. I am 34 yr female in same shoes. I am on n off w the drinking - Alcohol has made me a recluse, signs eventually show, its up to you if you wanna strangle the beast yourself. Do you have any AA women's group near you? I live in foothill area of Sacramento, they have a couple great supportive womens groups up here..

bryangt

Reach out here and take suggestions...be open minded & willing to make the necessary changes...and it sounds like you have to look beyond your current circle of friends & family.
Give AA a shot in your area....test the waters for a bit & see if it can help you...I couldn;t have done this without AA. I was a 'drunk' for 40 years....tried to stop on my own & never got far. Going on 2 years sober soon by the help of others & AA...Good Luck & reach out!

Windancer

You CAN stop.
I used to feel just like that.......for quite awhile.
I think you just need to made a plan for success and make some changes.......
dont get discouraged!! And post lots on here . This site is VERY informative, supportive and helpful.

Xune

A lot of people need help and a plan of action in order to stop and stay stopped.

There are a lot of different recovery methods, such as AA, SMART, AVRT etc...

This forum is filled with methods of stopping and lots of solid advice from veteran addicts in recovery.

For me, I had to accept that I could no longer drink alcohol, that I'm an addict and that booze is no longer an option.

instant

Welcome. Glad you are here. There is a way out of the torment to a better way of life.

TiredWolf

You must have some hope or you wouldn't be reaching out for help.

Focus on that little spark of hope and tell yourself not to drink just for today.

BillyWeaver

I used (sometimes still) think the same thing OP, however I come to this site everday and see dozens and dozens of people who have quit drinking. That gives me hope and lets me know, YES I can quit as well.

As cliche as it sounds, someone in the chat said this the other day and I just kinda fell in love with it... "I can either start living, or finish dying." That was powerful to me...really reached out to me, especially since I watched my own mother die from this disease (or whatever you want to call it)

I'm still very new to all of this, so maybe I am not the best person to give advice but just want you to know we have all been there. Some of us are still there. Some will perish before they finally catch on. I do not plan to be the latter, so I have been doing everything in my power to stop my drinking which includes changing up daily events. Do I still crave daily? lol you betcha, Do I still FANTASIZE at times about drinking? Yup. But I know when I drink I will not stop at 1 or 6 or even 12. I will drink and drink till I pass out, then drink when I wake up and work my way into a multiple day bender.

After that comes the fun part of feeling like absolute hot garbage from the withdraw/hangover.

So everytime I think to myself "Hey a few beers would be SO good right now!" I think of what WILL really happen...I play it in my head over and over. I think about the embarassment to my wife and child, about looking like a walking corpse at work etc...and that (so far) is just enough to have kept me sober thus far....and I am only on day 9.


Happy Sober hunting and know you that are not alone

KrissWest

Stopping drinking for us alcoholics/addicts is a very difficult thing to do. When I was going through professional school, I would get so stressed out that I would drink before school, at lunch before working on patients and then at night I would drink until I fell asleep because it was the only way that I would be able to get sleep... EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I got help when my husband, mother and friend all told me that they were worried about my drinking... and my husband stated he would not be married to an alcoholic. My MD gave me medication to deal with physical withdrawal and I started going to AA, group therapy sessions and seeing a required psychiatrist. I stayed sober for 8 months and then for much longer after a brief relapse.

You can do this! It's hard... and I had the benefit of not being a social drinker (I was a solo drinker bc I was embarrassed)... You may have to modify your circle of friends and activities a bit... but if your friends dont understand this... they aren't very good friends. Keep the ones that want to support you and go to AA... you can meet a lot of people to hang out with that also do not drink or drug.

Good luck

ttbp

You can do this. I came here saying exactly the same

Keep close to you the people who will help you in your journey and ditch the rest. Hard as that may sound, it will help xx

DarkDays

I was basically the same But wasted many more years than you have I could go 3/4 days without a drink normally after a brutal hangover, feel good again then repeat the whole process over and over and over. Sorry to be a bit harsh, but this will not magically stop by itself, in fact the whole thing gradually gets a lot worse over time, stop now right this second and free yourself from the obsession and slavery of this drug.

Just grind out the first few weeks, see the cravings for what they are and go to war with them them, never surrender to them ,stare at a wall all day if you have to just don't drink. Over time things get slightly better then MUCH better and before you know it you will be on your way I was scared of a sober life, now I wish I had found sobriety many many years ago. Do not waste any more time with it, good things await, I promise.

Boogirl

Thank you so much,Ii just read all of your posts. I am hoping that after a week or so, I don't give in. I'm writing down all the bad things about alcohol and the reasons why it's not worth it to drink anymore. When I have a day and I'm thinking about drinking, I'm going to read it, and remember all the reasons I can't keep binge drinking and doing this to myself. And I never want to experience the horrible anxiety that comes the next morning with a hangover. Sheer terror. It's not worth it! I have to keep telling this to myself. Hopefully it works. But i am going to come onto this site everyday, to read, maybe post and get support. Thank you again everyone!

whiskeyman

dont hope that you dont give in, just dont give in, thats that.
try AA, it is the only thing that worked for me, and I tried everything possible.

2granddaughters

I could never stop and stay stopped until I went to Alcoholics Anonymous.

They got me dry and are teaching me how to live sober.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

Welcome back boogirl

D