Well here I am again :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Louisville Kentucky
Posts: 87
Well here I am again :)
Been drinking heavily again recently...Have one week sober now (but don't even feel "proud" of it because it has more to do with my wife's threats than anything)
Same story different alki so I won't bore everyone lol.
Just looking for insight/ideas/distractions that some of you with decent sobriety time did in your first few months?
Actually I will bore you all a LITTLE bit :p
I just really really don't understand why my brain is this way. Maybe its because it has only been a week, and I really havent been sober more than a month in years but my brain is ALWAYS ALWAYS craving something (typically alcohol) However I can abuse anything...cigs, weed, energy drinks...coffee??? Just so I can feel "altered" in some way. I suppose that is the most depressing thing about this addiction and recovery. That for the rest of my life my brain will constantly be wanting/craving stimulation and I will not (hoepfully) be able to partake in it.
There is my rant, sorry if the thoughts seem scrambled...I am a little scrambled today
Same story different alki so I won't bore everyone lol.
Just looking for insight/ideas/distractions that some of you with decent sobriety time did in your first few months?
Actually I will bore you all a LITTLE bit :p
I just really really don't understand why my brain is this way. Maybe its because it has only been a week, and I really havent been sober more than a month in years but my brain is ALWAYS ALWAYS craving something (typically alcohol) However I can abuse anything...cigs, weed, energy drinks...coffee??? Just so I can feel "altered" in some way. I suppose that is the most depressing thing about this addiction and recovery. That for the rest of my life my brain will constantly be wanting/craving stimulation and I will not (hoepfully) be able to partake in it.
There is my rant, sorry if the thoughts seem scrambled...I am a little scrambled today
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago Burbs- Illinois
Posts: 202
Do you have any plan of action to stay sober long term? Its easy to play the quit til you feel better game- lots of people have done this for years even decades. It really does become "same story different alki" at some point it seems. Nothing changes if nothing changes. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Try a daily anti booze diary Billy!
As for addictions to other things why not try getting hooked on good food,gym work, walking, jogging,reading,meditation,nature etc.
I know its not easy,during my second last sobriety, (53) I was thinking of sex all the time, and I'm 71!
Alcohol free 12 days
As for addictions to other things why not try getting hooked on good food,gym work, walking, jogging,reading,meditation,nature etc.
I know its not easy,during my second last sobriety, (53) I was thinking of sex all the time, and I'm 71!
Alcohol free 12 days
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Personally, I found that AA helped me feel much more at home in my own skin. The crazy thinking is gone (it does crop up from time to time, not in a desire to drink, but in the sense that things feel intolerable, but I now have the tools to get back to sanity).
"Keeping busy" can help for a while but sooner or later thoughts tend to catch up with a person...
"Keeping busy" can help for a while but sooner or later thoughts tend to catch up with a person...
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
The problem with trying to run away from ourselves is that in the end, we're still with ourselves. I drank 25 years to get away from myself and it didn't work. But AA worked for me. Got me to be in a place where I didn't need the feel to get away from myself...and even got to like and love myself, something I never could do before.
Distractions are plenty, but they're short lived. Wife's threats are short lived too.
Try a program of action...lots to choose from.
Distractions are plenty, but they're short lived. Wife's threats are short lived too.
Try a program of action...lots to choose from.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
You're not boring, BW. Everyone here understand the way it is.
I tried to get sober many times during my life - and I finally got it right. Please don't give up on yourself. It's so good that you came back. We all care about you and want to help.
I tried to get sober many times during my life - and I finally got it right. Please don't give up on yourself. It's so good that you came back. We all care about you and want to help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think in order to fix that mindset we really have to work at it Billy...just waiting for it to happen spontaneously didn't cut it for me - posting here regularly, swearing off the booze for good, and seeing a counsellor helped me get to the bottom of why I wanted to run away.
Building a new life and new me I didn't want to run away from didn't hurt either.
I wanted to change tho - how much of this is you wanting to change BW, and how much is it the missus?
D
Building a new life and new me I didn't want to run away from didn't hurt either.
I wanted to change tho - how much of this is you wanting to change BW, and how much is it the missus?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I'm in a similar place. Soon after I stopped drinking, I started smoking cigs like crazy. I hadn't had one in 7 years and I picked right up, pronto. Also drink coffee like it's going out of style, morning, noon, and evenings. After 6pm I start on tea, more cigs follow.
That said, I'm not drinking. Not a drop. Hey I know the style of abuse is similar, but give yourself some credit man. It's real easy to get down on yourself - alcoholics are always the first one to put themselves down. How are you supposed to be sober permanently if you don't give yourself a break!!?? Don't bash yourself right now. Give yourself a pat on the back for god sakes.
Maybe you should try and join some other kind of organization besides AA. Is there a photography club in town? A local environmental group or other social club you can join? I literally raked leaves in a FOREST in my free time when I first got started with sobriety. Just to do something, to be outdoors, to have some responsibilities that weren't too stressful. You're off to a good start by coming here first. Keep searching, don't give up. Good luck.
That said, I'm not drinking. Not a drop. Hey I know the style of abuse is similar, but give yourself some credit man. It's real easy to get down on yourself - alcoholics are always the first one to put themselves down. How are you supposed to be sober permanently if you don't give yourself a break!!?? Don't bash yourself right now. Give yourself a pat on the back for god sakes.
Maybe you should try and join some other kind of organization besides AA. Is there a photography club in town? A local environmental group or other social club you can join? I literally raked leaves in a FOREST in my free time when I first got started with sobriety. Just to do something, to be outdoors, to have some responsibilities that weren't too stressful. You're off to a good start by coming here first. Keep searching, don't give up. Good luck.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Welcome back BW I remember you from b4. I dont really have much time but Ill chime in anyway.
A couple things changed for me this time. I decided to do this for me. If my wife leaves or stays Im staying sober. Tough for me to visualize at first because I always had a visual of what life would be like if she finally got fed up. Being sober was never a part of the daydream. Now that I think about what that might be like, I realize that I can and must stay sober no matter lifes circumstances.
I am staying sober for me, and the betterment of how I feel on the inside. What anyone else thinks about me or does is of no consequence. The benefits of this are already evident in my life. It shows in my wifes whole demeanor that she knows Im serious...because Im in this for my own reasons.
I also constantly focus on not worrying about the future. Especially how I might feel when I get there. I noticed some of that in your post. Most of my life has been spent living in the past or the future. Unfortunately Im not a very good fortune teller. As I get honest with myself I have to admit that 99.9 percent of my fears and worries never came true. If they did come true it was different than I had imagined. So why should I continue to believe myself about what hasnt happened yet?
Also I quit trying to understand why Im this way. Ive always thought subconciously I could figure it out and solve it. Instead I just gave up and changed my actions. My mind is following.
A couple things changed for me this time. I decided to do this for me. If my wife leaves or stays Im staying sober. Tough for me to visualize at first because I always had a visual of what life would be like if she finally got fed up. Being sober was never a part of the daydream. Now that I think about what that might be like, I realize that I can and must stay sober no matter lifes circumstances.
I am staying sober for me, and the betterment of how I feel on the inside. What anyone else thinks about me or does is of no consequence. The benefits of this are already evident in my life. It shows in my wifes whole demeanor that she knows Im serious...because Im in this for my own reasons.
I also constantly focus on not worrying about the future. Especially how I might feel when I get there. I noticed some of that in your post. Most of my life has been spent living in the past or the future. Unfortunately Im not a very good fortune teller. As I get honest with myself I have to admit that 99.9 percent of my fears and worries never came true. If they did come true it was different than I had imagined. So why should I continue to believe myself about what hasnt happened yet?
Also I quit trying to understand why Im this way. Ive always thought subconciously I could figure it out and solve it. Instead I just gave up and changed my actions. My mind is following.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
For me it took accepting I'm an addict, that my addiction wants alcohol and that I can never drink alcohol again. I strive to be less cynical, more positive, more patient and a better person.
Quitting entailed significant and concrete changes in the way I lived. I did not accidentally get and stay sober.
I'm approaching seven months and my end goal is to be one of those who entered recovery and never relapsed.
Posting here often and reading through threads also helps to keep me honest about my addiction.
It's hard for my AV to convince me that I don't have a problem after I've just posted that same day that I'm an addict in recovery.
Alcohol feeds me misery and ill health.
Sobriety gives me life.
Quitting entailed significant and concrete changes in the way I lived. I did not accidentally get and stay sober.
I'm approaching seven months and my end goal is to be one of those who entered recovery and never relapsed.
Posting here often and reading through threads also helps to keep me honest about my addiction.
It's hard for my AV to convince me that I don't have a problem after I've just posted that same day that I'm an addict in recovery.
Alcohol feeds me misery and ill health.
Sobriety gives me life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
Dear Billy-
In my experience, self-deception was my problem. Like Sugarbear said, I had to re-program my way of thinking. (Still working at it) I heard once, we have a mind obsessed with relief.
I didn't know how to change any of this. And guess what, I could not by myself. I joined the program of AA, but there are other programs as well.
I don't know about you, but I don't change anything if I am not in pain. My network of women help me, they notice when I am "off". I need people to call me out on my BS all the time, or my old way of thinking sneeks back in and takes over.
Billy, there is hope but we need others for support. I am so happy you are back.
In my experience, self-deception was my problem. Like Sugarbear said, I had to re-program my way of thinking. (Still working at it) I heard once, we have a mind obsessed with relief.
I didn't know how to change any of this. And guess what, I could not by myself. I joined the program of AA, but there are other programs as well.
I don't know about you, but I don't change anything if I am not in pain. My network of women help me, they notice when I am "off". I need people to call me out on my BS all the time, or my old way of thinking sneeks back in and takes over.
Billy, there is hope
but we need others for support. I am so happy you are back.
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