constant argument
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
by the sound of it you have been so lucky so far in life to not have done something so bad that you would end up in big trouble
whenever i hear anyone say they havent done this or they havent done that i always say after it the simple word YET
i hadnt been to prison either until one day i got sent there as my luck ran out
i hadnt lost all my money yet until one day i did lose it all
i just hope one day you dont post on here that if only you had listened
as i wish i had only listened to the wise people in aa who told me i would one day end up in the simple mess i ended up in
today i just live a simple life the life i was always suposed to live but never knew how
until aa shown me the way but i had to give in and accept what i am and believe it 100%
while your luck holds good i guess its a hard thing for anyone to really believe the bad things will happen to them
but just give it time and one day it certainly will
whenever i hear anyone say they havent done this or they havent done that i always say after it the simple word YET
i hadnt been to prison either until one day i got sent there as my luck ran out
i hadnt lost all my money yet until one day i did lose it all
i just hope one day you dont post on here that if only you had listened
as i wish i had only listened to the wise people in aa who told me i would one day end up in the simple mess i ended up in
today i just live a simple life the life i was always suposed to live but never knew how
until aa shown me the way but i had to give in and accept what i am and believe it 100%
while your luck holds good i guess its a hard thing for anyone to really believe the bad things will happen to them
but just give it time and one day it certainly will
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I also crawled back into AA many times
Over the years I heard a lot of stories there
That I either could not relate to
Or had not happened in my life yet
There it is that word (yet)
With more drinking time experienced
Many of the yets came true in my life also
Yes I was finally convinced
I was an alcoholic
And in grave trouble once again
Not only with the law
But also with
Wife and neighbors
I was sick and tired of myself
Back to AA
It's been working just fine now for 6 years
MM
Over the years I heard a lot of stories there
That I either could not relate to
Or had not happened in my life yet
There it is that word (yet)
With more drinking time experienced
Many of the yets came true in my life also
Yes I was finally convinced
I was an alcoholic
And in grave trouble once again
Not only with the law
But also with
Wife and neighbors
I was sick and tired of myself
Back to AA
It's been working just fine now for 6 years
MM
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
From reading your opening post my question is what difference does it make if you are an alcoholic or not? It's clear drinking it a huge issue and not drinking would make lots of life easier.
No brainer eh?
Tail chasing about fine points of to be or not to be don't solve anything.
If the problem is drinking, the solution is likely to be not drinking.
If going to AA and having to say "i'm an alcoholic" is something you can't do, quit with a different program. Because it's also true we need to be able to stomach the medicine in order to get cured.
I have seen people do the in again, out again, am I or aren't I thing with AA and alcohol for ages, lots of energy and time spent on that, would have been better spent on getting sober.
If the word alcoholic didn't exist, would it change anything about your situation? Or in the end would no drinking be the thing that changes the situation?
No brainer eh?
Tail chasing about fine points of to be or not to be don't solve anything.
If the problem is drinking, the solution is likely to be not drinking.
If going to AA and having to say "i'm an alcoholic" is something you can't do, quit with a different program. Because it's also true we need to be able to stomach the medicine in order to get cured.
I have seen people do the in again, out again, am I or aren't I thing with AA and alcohol for ages, lots of energy and time spent on that, would have been better spent on getting sober.
If the word alcoholic didn't exist, would it change anything about your situation? Or in the end would no drinking be the thing that changes the situation?
gluelicker.
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 22
If you honestly, truly feel that you are not an alcoholic, are doing this for others and not yourself, and want to go back out...then do it.
You've been on the boards, you've been to meetings. You've been sober one year. If you're willing to gamble that against the chance you might not be an alcoholic, that is your business.
However, I propose if you find yourself in the rooms again. If you have been blessed with the gift of desperation again as so many of us have had, please commit to doing the steps with a sponsor. If is there is any chance of the program solving the alcohol problem for good, that is it.
Remember we will always take you back in with no judgements nor do we shoot our wounded.
May God bless you and keep you until then.
You've been on the boards, you've been to meetings. You've been sober one year. If you're willing to gamble that against the chance you might not be an alcoholic, that is your business.
However, I propose if you find yourself in the rooms again. If you have been blessed with the gift of desperation again as so many of us have had, please commit to doing the steps with a sponsor. If is there is any chance of the program solving the alcohol problem for good, that is it.
Remember we will always take you back in with no judgements nor do we shoot our wounded.
May God bless you and keep you until then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
thank you to all for help and comments i did not drink, made my year had a two week holiday abroad with my family. Acceptance and having faith was the difference, I hva finally shattered the delusion( fixed false belief) that i can drink normally or safely, Today i feel free
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
Baxi,
I joined the sight just recently, and have found the posts to be so helpful.
Reading this entire thread has been really helpful to me to see the progression through recovery that can occur. As they often day, I want the peace of mind that you have, and I am willing to do whatever I have to do to get it.
Thanks to everyone for a great read, and the hope and encouragement these threads help promote!
I joined the sight just recently, and have found the posts to be so helpful.
Reading this entire thread has been really helpful to me to see the progression through recovery that can occur. As they often day, I want the peace of mind that you have, and I am willing to do whatever I have to do to get it.
Thanks to everyone for a great read, and the hope and encouragement these threads help promote!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Thanks for your honesty and sharing, Baxi.
I am sure glad you are here.
Is the am I or am I not debate really worth having?
Feeling Great laid things out rather nicely, I think.
Only someone like us would even consider whether we are really an alcoholic under the circumstances, and with the consequences, that you wrote about in your original post.
I suggest that you read tomsteve's longer post above a few times.
You choice seems to be to continue drinking and fighting battles you invariably lose or have a fairly remarkable life.
Only someone like us would actually regard that as a choice at all.
Take care and hang around.
I am sure glad you are here.
Is the am I or am I not debate really worth having?
Feeling Great laid things out rather nicely, I think.
Only someone like us would even consider whether we are really an alcoholic under the circumstances, and with the consequences, that you wrote about in your original post.
I suggest that you read tomsteve's longer post above a few times.
You choice seems to be to continue drinking and fighting battles you invariably lose or have a fairly remarkable life.
Only someone like us would actually regard that as a choice at all.
Take care and hang around.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
Having read through all my posts and replies from start to finish ,I can see patterns of my thinking that are related to fears of new experiences and feelings ie,first holiday, first year etc
Having lived through this I can say that all of these passed and most of my fears were unfounded and based on feelings of low self esteem and inadequecy.
I continue to attend aa meetings and enjoy the sense of fellowship and identication of feelings and emotions. I dont buy into the tribalism of meetings however i am open minded enough to let people be what they need to be.
In terms of the programme i see God as Good and spirituality as the answer to this alcoholics emotional illness.
Acceptance was the thing that I could never had as i would not accept I had the illness of alcoholISM
Today acceptance, having gratitude and seeking to do Good makes the diffrence. I also accept I am a flawed individual and there is a freedom in that
Having lived through this I can say that all of these passed and most of my fears were unfounded and based on feelings of low self esteem and inadequecy.
I continue to attend aa meetings and enjoy the sense of fellowship and identication of feelings and emotions. I dont buy into the tribalism of meetings however i am open minded enough to let people be what they need to be.
In terms of the programme i see God as Good and spirituality as the answer to this alcoholics emotional illness.
Acceptance was the thing that I could never had as i would not accept I had the illness of alcoholISM
Today acceptance, having gratitude and seeking to do Good makes the diffrence. I also accept I am a flawed individual and there is a freedom in that
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Nice to meet you.
This saying helped me to finally stop drinking: acceptance means you stop fighting it.
Sounds so simple but it's really powerful. I stopped fighting the battle of trying to drink without negative consequences. It was difficult but a huge relief at the same time. The amount of energy I expend each day just living is so much less than it used to be. Life is easier.
If I ever miss the drinking days I am not missing 2014 or 2012. I am missing some long ago time in 2006 or 2007 when drinking still made me feel good. I'd have to be out of your mind to miss daily hangovers and sickness.
This saying helped me to finally stop drinking: acceptance means you stop fighting it.
Sounds so simple but it's really powerful. I stopped fighting the battle of trying to drink without negative consequences. It was difficult but a huge relief at the same time. The amount of energy I expend each day just living is so much less than it used to be. Life is easier.
If I ever miss the drinking days I am not missing 2014 or 2012. I am missing some long ago time in 2006 or 2007 when drinking still made me feel good. I'd have to be out of your mind to miss daily hangovers and sickness.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hey, baxi,
Just saw your thread, and I remember when it started (the thread). I was hoping you hadn't gone out for more "experimentation."
HUGE congrats on your sober time! Those lines on page 417 of the Big Book capture for me (and, apparently, many others, based on its popularity and quotability) the essence of acceptance. Once I really dropped the rope in this tug-of-war and quit fighting it, everything changed. I don't give two hoots about whether someone else would diagnose me as an alcoholic, alcohol abuser, alcohol-dependent person, or just a plain problem drinker. I KNOW, based on my experience, that I cannot drink safely. I KNOW that drinking had become the center of my life and that there were increasingly worrisome consequences to that.
Enjoy your freedom!
Just saw your thread, and I remember when it started (the thread). I was hoping you hadn't gone out for more "experimentation."
HUGE congrats on your sober time! Those lines on page 417 of the Big Book capture for me (and, apparently, many others, based on its popularity and quotability) the essence of acceptance. Once I really dropped the rope in this tug-of-war and quit fighting it, everything changed. I don't give two hoots about whether someone else would diagnose me as an alcoholic, alcohol abuser, alcohol-dependent person, or just a plain problem drinker. I KNOW, based on my experience, that I cannot drink safely. I KNOW that drinking had become the center of my life and that there were increasingly worrisome consequences to that.
Enjoy your freedom!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
Hi All
just popping back in letting every one know i am still sober. Being sober has allowed me to tackle and face up to lifes difficulties, as they say today i am fit, fresh and free for anyone struggling just hang in , time is a great healer and being sober is far easier than being drunk. take care
just popping back in letting every one know i am still sober. Being sober has allowed me to tackle and face up to lifes difficulties, as they say today i am fit, fresh and free for anyone struggling just hang in , time is a great healer and being sober is far easier than being drunk. take care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
Hello and good morning I have just celebrated 2 years of sobriety and would like to thank all for the help and support my life is in a much better place and I can think straighter I have not lost my self respect in 2 years now and as previous posts have said I am fit fresh and free.
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