Stardawn

Ive been clean from drugs for 3 months but ive recently relapsed with alcohol. Im not sure how to get back on my feet and i feel so guilty for relapsing, are these feelings normal? What has everyone else done to help themselves after a relapse?

Dee74

welcome stardawn

I think it's normal to feel that way, I know I did many times.

For me the way forward was always action - working on my recovery, getting support.
Coming here's a good start - do you have other support as well?

D

instant

It is normal to beat yourself up. I think self-beating is part of the problem as it feeds both the 'despair' and the 'what's the point' monkeys. Those guys can be a bugger once they get going. In fact I used to drink and drink and never felt to "bad" about it until I wanted to cut down/moderate or quit. Whatever position you take on what you have done and what it 'means' is your call.

I think it helps to be objective and have a plan.

TheEnd

Been there done that....it's what fueled me to continue my spiral down after I had relapsed. Try and be reflective, but try and get past this point or it will just bring you down and that is not helpful for recovery.

Caldus

Sorry to hear about your relapse. It's tough at the beginning. Very tough. I understand completely. I'm about 5 months in and I'm still struggling some nights. But it's been a heck of a lot easier than it was in the first 90 days otherwise. Think about it this way ... you've learned a lot so far, right? Well, you still have that knowledge. Now just take the action and get clean again. At least now you know for sure inside that relapsing just leads to guilt and shame rather than what you thought it would lead to.

Threshold

First thing is to stop drinking/using again. Get some support, like you are doing here. Decide to not drink/use no matter what even if that mean just white knuckling it for awhile, doing what feels silly if that's what it takes, whatever.

Then get into some program, method and WORK it. If it's the same one you were using before, start looking at it, talking to others and figure out where the missing bits were than made you drink again.

Investigate some other options to see if you need to try another program, tweak or add something.

Don't give the relapse any more power or significance than it truly has. Some of us can get rather dramatic over a relapse and start on about how it proves WE can never recover, etc etc.

Pretty much everyone who has quit, even if just in their own mind, has started again and needed to recommit. Often getting into a program is the sign of that final commitment that sticks, but even those of us in a program, many of us have some relapses behind us before we find a way to really DO this thing.

When we got a little stability, post relapse, evaluationg the situation, feelings etc that led to us drinking/using can help us avoid relapsing again. But I think it's important to stop, regroup, and get support before we start getting overly analytical, because we can talk ourselves out of quitting again pretty easily if left to our own devices.

coraltint

take heart in the fact that you came back here & shared it....I'm guessing that's something pretty new & different, right? doing things a little differently is the beginning of change, keep it up!!

Joe Nerv

Many people believe that relapse is a part of recovery. Myself included, though I never relapsed once I got into AA.

It's also been said that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. If you got drunk, and you don't want it to happen then you're going to have to do things differently. There are countless tools that people use to stay sober. For me, I wanted them all. I jumped into AA and took every suggestion I possibly could, and it worked. I also in time changed the way I ate, started exercising, and went for lots of counseling.

While it's become cliche, I really believe that the key to sobriety is in being as honest, open minded, and willing as we can possibly be. HOW. When I'm aiming for 100% in all those areas, I'm doing my best. I think they're all essential for getting and staying happily sober.

Changenetwork

Relapse is a part of a recovery! It is a reminder that we can't go back to that bad place! AA Absolute Abstinence from now on! Focus on positive healthy hobbies!

hamabi

Shame and guilt often accompany drinking for alcoholics. Since those feelings can demand more drinking if the alcoholic has no useful solution it can be one way this thing continues to harm us.

You can guess what can make the feelings of shame and guilt of drinking again stop and never return.

sunrise1

Get right back on the horse... best thing you can do is involve yourself in whatever it was that got you sober in the first place; be that AA, therapy, whatever. Don't hesitate and don't beat yourself. Move on and move forward and don't allow it to become a stumbling block.

MrTumble

I just did the same. No idea how to deal with it, but I am refusing to beat myself up (im an adult, I made the choice to drink, I can make the choice not to drink also), im also getting right back on the wagon, the effects of that drinking session confirmed to me that I want to be free of booze, so today i will not drink

Stardawn

Thank you guys for all the responses, ive been clean from drugs for a little while but it seems that ive replaced it with alcohol, this site is the only place ive turned for help.