Hi, I'm new.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: AZ
Posts: 1
Hi, I'm new.
I decided to get sober five months ago. Actually, I decided to get sober more than two years ago, but I finally got serious about it five months ago. After a number of drama-filled, highly embarrassing incidents over the last year, I finally ended a dysfunctional romantic relationship and simultaneously admitted to myself that I cannot handle alcohol, not even a little bit.
Those embarrassing memories (and conspicuously absent memories) were indispensable to getting me through those difficult first couple weeks of sobriety--something I'd never managed to do before. But after a couple of months, I could feel their impact fading and knew I would need some additional help if I wanted to stay sober. My desire for alcohol was getting close to overpowering my fear of it.
So I told my situation to a friend who I knew was in AA and have been attending a few meetings a week for the last couple of weeks. I'm not an instant believer in everything AA has to say, but I'm moved by the number of adherents and am relieved to get to know some other sober young people. The hardest part about going it alone had been, you guessed it, the loneliness.
Although I had a number of embarrassing experiences and dysfunctional relationships while drinking, I'm lucky to have had no legal entanglements. Although (the way I was going) it was just a matter of time before I got fired for substance-related reasons or picked a fight with the wrong person or finally got a DUI, I miraculously avoided all of these things (and more). My AA friend told me something corny that has really stuck with me: "The elevator of alcoholism stops on every floor before it gets to the bottom; you can get off any time you want to." As I sit here today, I'm so grateful to have gotten off when I did.
The trick now is to make sure I don't get back on. As time passes, I see myself minimizing my past behavior. And I have no paper trail (i.e., court documents, embarrassing photos) to keep fresh in my mind those things I did that I don't ever want to do again. Sometimes I wonder to myself if I'm really that bad . . . if all I needed was a breather, a reset, and now I'm fine. AA has really helped me recognize this thinking for what it is and has helped me remember the relevant parts of my own story.
Anyway, thanks for being here everybody, and I look forward to staying sober with you all.
W
Those embarrassing memories (and conspicuously absent memories) were indispensable to getting me through those difficult first couple weeks of sobriety--something I'd never managed to do before. But after a couple of months, I could feel their impact fading and knew I would need some additional help if I wanted to stay sober. My desire for alcohol was getting close to overpowering my fear of it.
So I told my situation to a friend who I knew was in AA and have been attending a few meetings a week for the last couple of weeks. I'm not an instant believer in everything AA has to say, but I'm moved by the number of adherents and am relieved to get to know some other sober young people. The hardest part about going it alone had been, you guessed it, the loneliness.
Although I had a number of embarrassing experiences and dysfunctional relationships while drinking, I'm lucky to have had no legal entanglements. Although (the way I was going) it was just a matter of time before I got fired for substance-related reasons or picked a fight with the wrong person or finally got a DUI, I miraculously avoided all of these things (and more). My AA friend told me something corny that has really stuck with me: "The elevator of alcoholism stops on every floor before it gets to the bottom; you can get off any time you want to." As I sit here today, I'm so grateful to have gotten off when I did.
The trick now is to make sure I don't get back on. As time passes, I see myself minimizing my past behavior. And I have no paper trail (i.e., court documents, embarrassing photos) to keep fresh in my mind those things I did that I don't ever want to do again. Sometimes I wonder to myself if I'm really that bad . . . if all I needed was a breather, a reset, and now I'm fine. AA has really helped me recognize this thinking for what it is and has helped me remember the relevant parts of my own story.
Anyway, thanks for being here everybody, and I look forward to staying sober with you all.
W
Last edited by flexibledoor; 01-19-2013 at 03:28 PM. Reason: Correction
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome flexible. We're so glad to meet you. This is a wonderful place, & you're never alone. Someone's around at all hours. Congratulations on your sober time.
I tried for many years to control what I drank. I didn't want to let go of it, even though it was bringing me nothing but pain and misery. I caused myself so much grief because I refused to admit I couldn't touch it. I'm glad you've come to that conclusion and are reaching out for a sober life. You can do it.
I tried for many years to control what I drank. I didn't want to let go of it, even though it was bringing me nothing but pain and misery. I caused myself so much grief because I refused to admit I couldn't touch it. I'm glad you've come to that conclusion and are reaching out for a sober life. You can do it.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
As time passes, I see myself minimizing my past behavior.
We fail to remember what it was like not too long ago - the hangovers, the fights, the embarrassing behavior, the illness, the criminal stuff, etc. We start to filter it out until we get into a place of "it wasn't so bad..." That is why it's important to be vigilant.
Welcome to SR and great job on your time sober!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by flexibledoor 
AA has really helped me recognize this thinking for what it is and has helped me remember the relevant parts of my own story.
All the best.
Bob R
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