New girl here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
New girl here
Hey everyone! I'm new to these boards and new to sobriety - day 2 so far. Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself!
I've known for a long time I had a "drinking problem" but because I could "control" it sometimes, I hesitated to call myself an alcoholic, which I realize now was a mistake, basically an act of denial. I don't drink every day or even most days, and sometimes I can have a single glass of wine at dinner and be done. But other times that switch gets flipped and I am unable to control or limit what I drink.
I am no longer able to deny my alcoholism, 2 nights ago I was arrested for a DWI. I was very, very drunk - I think, as I have basically no memory of the whole event. I have my arraignment next week and I am absolutely terrified of losing my license, and for people in my life to find out. I am a newlywed, married only 2 months, and while my husband is exceptionally supportive, I know this is not how he wanted to start our married life together. Today I was supposed to fly to Florida with my best friend, a trip she got me as a birthday present, and I had to cancel because I am just so devastated and upset and worried about what's to come, I'm afraid to leave the house.
I'm not sure what type of treatment is best for me, if I should start attending AA meetings, talk to a therapist, or what. But it seems this community is amazing and I love the idea of having a network of support while I'm starting out, until I figure out what's next for me.
That was longer than I intended but anyway - hello everyone!!!
I've known for a long time I had a "drinking problem" but because I could "control" it sometimes, I hesitated to call myself an alcoholic, which I realize now was a mistake, basically an act of denial. I don't drink every day or even most days, and sometimes I can have a single glass of wine at dinner and be done. But other times that switch gets flipped and I am unable to control or limit what I drink.
I am no longer able to deny my alcoholism, 2 nights ago I was arrested for a DWI. I was very, very drunk - I think, as I have basically no memory of the whole event. I have my arraignment next week and I am absolutely terrified of losing my license, and for people in my life to find out. I am a newlywed, married only 2 months, and while my husband is exceptionally supportive, I know this is not how he wanted to start our married life together. Today I was supposed to fly to Florida with my best friend, a trip she got me as a birthday present, and I had to cancel because I am just so devastated and upset and worried about what's to come, I'm afraid to leave the house.
I'm not sure what type of treatment is best for me, if I should start attending AA meetings, talk to a therapist, or what. But it seems this community is amazing and I love the idea of having a network of support while I'm starting out, until I figure out what's next for me.
That was longer than I intended but anyway - hello everyone!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi Alison! I'm so happy to meet you. You've found a wonderful place to share what you're going through. You're not alone anymore. With the help of the people here, I've been sober 5 yrs. after drinking my whole life.
Congratulations on your 2 days sober. You can do this, Alison.
Congratulations on your 2 days sober. You can do this, Alison.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Your first DWI/DUI is the best thing that could have happened. The penalties are not bad (in fact my probation officer became a good friend), but it is a real wake-up call of trouble ahead.
Clearly you have "our problem":alcoholism. I wish it not be so... but life without alcohol is so much better.
Clearly you have "our problem":alcoholism. I wish it not be so... but life without alcohol is so much better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
For many years driving after having even one drink was something I'd never do. As the years passed ig ot brave and well Didnt think much of it myself to drive after having a few. I was never plastered or anything but probably shouldnt have driven. Luckily i never got caught. Thing is earlier one i thought more clearly about it said no absolutly not but as time progressed and the booze got a better grip on me my decisions got poorer and poorer.
They say it impairs judgement The thing is for years yes i guess while intoxicated you could say my judgement was impaired but i'd never drive drunk etc.. But then as time went on my judgement was clearly more impaired and I drove drunk.
Its as if the impaired judgement issue gets worse the longer you continue to drink rather then just your judgement is impared during one intoxicated evening and once you sober up its back to normal.
Your on the right path. Dont be afraid to try AA. I thought it was corny an old mans club of sorts and as a result didnt go till I had a year of sobreity. In hindsite I should have gone sooner.
Be care ful this disease can sneak up you. LIke you said you think you can have it under control and BAM you do something stupid again!. Take it from someone who's got a lot of those something stupids under his belt. It can and will happen again if you keep drinking.
Hang in there. DWI's while bad keep in mind life could always be worse. You'll get through it it'll be ok.
They say it impairs judgement The thing is for years yes i guess while intoxicated you could say my judgement was impaired but i'd never drive drunk etc.. But then as time went on my judgement was clearly more impaired and I drove drunk.
Its as if the impaired judgement issue gets worse the longer you continue to drink rather then just your judgement is impared during one intoxicated evening and once you sober up its back to normal.
Your on the right path. Dont be afraid to try AA. I thought it was corny an old mans club of sorts and as a result didnt go till I had a year of sobreity. In hindsite I should have gone sooner.
Be care ful this disease can sneak up you. LIke you said you think you can have it under control and BAM you do something stupid again!. Take it from someone who's got a lot of those something stupids under his belt. It can and will happen again if you keep drinking.
Hang in there. DWI's while bad keep in mind life could always be worse. You'll get through it it'll be ok.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
If you believe you are an alcoholic, I would do all of the above. Go to AA and bring a sheet to get signed as proof of your attendance and listen to what they are saying at the meeting. It might sound Greek at first, but you are with people who share a common problem: alcohol.
I would also go to a therapist. Be honest about your drinking history and tell them about the DUI.
I don't know if you are getting a lawyer or not, but those two things are something they would probably suggest.
Good luck and keep posting.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, Alison,
Welcome! Glad you are here with us. Sorry about the DWI, but it isn't the end of the world. I never got one, but not for lack of trying. Sooner or later my luck would have run out, too.
Still, looks like this is what it took to get through to you, so it certainly isn't all bad! Listen, being an alcoholic isn't what any of us would have chosen for ourselves, but on the list of things you could be suffering from it is among the most treatable.
I really suggest you start looking up AA meetings in your area. There are people in the groups who will give you rides if you need one. The love and support and help you find will be amazing.
It feels scary to go to one the first time, but I'm betting that if you just go, without overanalyzing it, you will be very happily surprised. Let people know that you're new, and ask for phone numbers. It will be a great help to get in the habit of touching base with people, and it's great to have those numbers when things get rough (which they sometimes do, mostly early on).
Welcome! Glad you are here with us. Sorry about the DWI, but it isn't the end of the world. I never got one, but not for lack of trying. Sooner or later my luck would have run out, too.
Still, looks like this is what it took to get through to you, so it certainly isn't all bad! Listen, being an alcoholic isn't what any of us would have chosen for ourselves, but on the list of things you could be suffering from it is among the most treatable.
I really suggest you start looking up AA meetings in your area. There are people in the groups who will give you rides if you need one. The love and support and help you find will be amazing.
It feels scary to go to one the first time, but I'm betting that if you just go, without overanalyzing it, you will be very happily surprised. Let people know that you're new, and ask for phone numbers. It will be a great help to get in the habit of touching base with people, and it's great to have those numbers when things get rough (which they sometimes do, mostly early on).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome to SR Alison 
These links will give you a good idea of whats around recovery wise
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you're interested in a non 12 step approach.
These links will give you a good idea of whats around recovery wise
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you're interested in a non 12 step approach.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
Hi and welcome! Please read all you can and get comfortable.
I was arrested for a DUI 12 years ago at the age of 28 and although I stopped drinking for a time (and actually never got a record as I followed the court program to the letter), and never drove/drank again (didn't do it often before getting caught as I was always "against" it historically--the night in question I was apparently too drunk to care), I didn't stop drinking for good.
I have a long history of starting and stopping drinking--but recently once and for all admitted to being an alcoholic. I've been going to therapy and going to AA meetings these past few months and am now 84 days sober (which I consider different than previous times where I just stopped drinking).
When I look at my drinking history the DUI was the most glaring example of "YES, STOP NOW FOR GOOD" that I didn't listen to. I always considered myself the "good" kid, and was absolutely devastated about the DUI--and so grateful that I didn't hurt anyone else that night. And, yet I still didn't think I was a true alcoholic at the time. Baffling really.
12 years later, I am here to tell you that my drinking never got better. Long story short, it got worse.
Your path is your own, but I hope you use this situation to benefit your life for the better. I didn't, and I could have.
Looking forward to hearing more from you.
I was arrested for a DUI 12 years ago at the age of 28 and although I stopped drinking for a time (and actually never got a record as I followed the court program to the letter), and never drove/drank again (didn't do it often before getting caught as I was always "against" it historically--the night in question I was apparently too drunk to care), I didn't stop drinking for good.
I have a long history of starting and stopping drinking--but recently once and for all admitted to being an alcoholic. I've been going to therapy and going to AA meetings these past few months and am now 84 days sober (which I consider different than previous times where I just stopped drinking).
When I look at my drinking history the DUI was the most glaring example of "YES, STOP NOW FOR GOOD" that I didn't listen to. I always considered myself the "good" kid, and was absolutely devastated about the DUI--and so grateful that I didn't hurt anyone else that night. And, yet I still didn't think I was a true alcoholic at the time. Baffling really.
12 years later, I am here to tell you that my drinking never got better. Long story short, it got worse.
Your path is your own, but I hope you use this situation to benefit your life for the better. I didn't, and I could have.
Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
Don't rely on the fear of your DUI to keep you sober. Fear wanes over time and booze also numbs the mind to fear.
If you're open to AA, that's a program that works for a lot of people. You should consider starting with AA and working the steps like your life depends on it.
It likely does.
If you're open to AA, that's a program that works for a lot of people. You should consider starting with AA and working the steps like your life depends on it.
It likely does.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by AlisonW 
I'm not sure what type of treatment is best for me, if I should start attending AA meetings, talk to a therapist, or what. But it seems this community is amazing and I love the idea of having a network of support while I'm starting out, until I figure out what's next for me.
That was longer than I intended but anyway - hello everyone!!!
That was longer than I intended but anyway - hello everyone!!!
There are lots of programs out there. After my last relapse I went to a drug and alcohol counsellor and he recommended daytox for me. From there I could pick what programs I would like to go to. I've gone to AA, SMART and I found out about Women for Sobriety so I am going to a meeting next week.
I attend more AA meetings because here they have them morning, noon and night so if I need to there is always some place I can go.
You will find something that works for you.
Good luck on your journey and congrats on 2 days!
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by Xune
Don't rely on the fear of your DUI to keep you sober. Fear wanes over time and booze also numbs the mind to fear.
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