Anoronha

I had the idea before from someone of giving my phone number to the local AA office so that they could give it to any newcomer that wanted to chat and help getting to AA their first meeting. When I told my old sponsor that I wanted to do that she advised me not to because I was new to sobriety and could get myself into sticky situations. Now that I fired her I'm considering doing it and asking my current sponsor what she thinks. What do you guys think am I too new to sobriety. I will have 8 months next Monday. This may be a stupid question so sorry.

LadyinBC

This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt. I agree with your old sponsor. I think we need to concentrate on ourselves the first year at least. I know you have good intentions, but I do undersrtand what she is saying. I will be 6 months soon and I know me I am still too new to sobriety.

And so not a stupid question.

awuh1

It's sort of a judgment call. A sponsor who knows you well would likely have a better opinion. Even then it’s only an opinion.

laurie6781

Not a stupid question at all and I commend you for want to help others.

Once my sponsees have finished the 12 steps, I then recommend that they put
their name on the "12 Step List" at the local central office, and remind them
that one NEVER does a '12 Step Call' solo.

So if you have finished your steps, go ahead, if not, please complete your step
work (which will also help you when doing a '12 Step Call') and then put your
name on the list.

Just my humble opinion.

Love and hugs,

Music

My first thought was this. If you have the desire to help newcomers by giving out your number, how have you prepared yourself? My first couple 12 step calls were done with my sponsor. I don't remember if I'd worked the steps at that point, but I went along for the ride. And, that brings up another point. I think your intentions are good and honorable. I'd never tell you not to do this but please don't go out alone. If you get a call, asking for a ride to a meeting, or especially to call on someone at their home, don't go alone. I'm a guy and I'd never go alone, unless we were meeting in a public place but even then, I think it's wise to think about possible questions you'd be asked and you should read the Big Book, particularly "Working with Others" and have worked the steps so you can talk intelligently about the program. Good luck.

Anoronha

Thank you guys for your opinions all I still have a lot of work to do on the steps I have to start from step 1 again with new sponsor. I had just completed step 3 with old sponsor. I think you guys might be right. the next time my sponsor does a 12 step call with her sponsor I may ask if i may kindly tag along just to observe. Unless it will do more damage to do that. I don't know a whole lot about recovery. My background is in social work that is what my degree is in so I am interested in this and becoming a counselor.

sugarbear1

We NEVER go on a 12 step call alone.

How many people are you currently helping to get to a meeting? I have no vehicle, but when I did, I never hesitated to give someone a ride. Many years later, it seems that I see so many people arriving at meetings alone in their car, those same people basically were "too busy" or "coming from the other direction" and "weren't able to give me a ride" except for the men, they seem to offer rides a lot.....I only go with a few of them as I know them well enough to know there is no ulterior motive involved.

Some women do give me rides to meetings, but their attendance is sporadic.

Start locally by giving rides to women you meet at meetings, if they don't have a ride. Make sure you have another female with you when you give random women rides to meetings or when you go on a 12 step call. It's also about your safety in 2013. Even some women can be insane......and deadly.

AA history if full of people who work together (tag team, if you will) on a 12 step call and to keep each other sober throughout that call.

It's a given, not an opinion, that we never go on a 12 step call alone.

2granddaughters

Nothing will help you more than helping the newcomer. You will get back more than you give.

If you have 2 days in you are an oldtimer to the newcomer and can offer a lot of Hope.

That said, be aware and only give your number to a new GIRL.

(All the above with your sponsor's approval)

All the best.

Bob R

Natom

The main NA office in the UK have my telephone number and the permission to hand it out if they want too. I've never had to go on a 12th step call. I also have 8 months clean time but the other person on the call list has 8 years. If your sponsor says it's a bad idea then I'd go with that.

Natom.

Threshold

here's my take on it.

I've had people put their number in my hand and say "call me anytime". I've called a few people when I was in a lurch and both myself and them found out that they weren't ready for someone calling any time in a hot mess.

So before you give out your number, think long and hard about whether or not you and your own sobriety can handle these calls, and how you will address it if you find out you can't. If you get a call and someone is in a bad way...what will you do next?

Also, are you making two calls a day to another recovering alcoholic? I think many people fail to realize what a gift that is, because often as not the callee benefits as much or more than the caller! It's a softer/gentler way, perhaps for you to share recovery while you are still getting the steps under your belt.

If you are not already making two calls a day to people, and gaining that wisdom and experience, getting comfortable talking and sharing recovery and the program, etc...then are you truly ready to be on the "do call" list?

paul99

This is great advise. My sponsor asked me to do the same, and it was difficult to do at first. I did one a day, whether I felt like it or not. I didn't know what to say, and felt silly. But I understand what this was about - getting out there, connecting, getting out of my comfort zone, and getting in the habit of making calls, so that if ever I was in a bad way, I didn't feel awkward calling someone. I already had been doing it. I recommend this to my sponsees and anyone else as well.

Gal220

Wow, my sponsors have never suggested this. I find it difficult enough to call my sponsor a couple times a week. When I do, she does most of the talking. I understand the concept, but I am SO glad this has never been suggested to me! Now I'm going to be paranoid that my sponsor will suggest this!

I did answer the phones one night a month for our city's AA office for a couple of years. I got lots of calls, but 99 percent of them were just for people asking for meeting times and locations. I only got one drunk-in-the-middle-of-the-night call.

Anoronha

I dont call enough I usually see the people i know at meetings a lot and I always figured that was enough. When I call to ask people how they are no one picks up because they are not there and I know it is because they have a job or life and that is just how life is. I don't want to come of as needy so I don't usually call most of the time I will look at my phone list and think of calling but dont. i call my old sponsor and talk to my current sponsor and some other lady in my group. I just started getting to the young peoples meetings and i hope to make friends there.

sugarbear1

Calling others you've met at a meeting is important.

Saying "hello" and welcoming a newcomer is important, too.

There will be time after you've moved through the steps to get on the 12 step call list or to help volunteer your time to answer the hotline at your local intergroup office, or to be a General Service Rep or to do other service work.....

Start with the steps....and with those other women in the group so that when your sponsor isn't available you have other women to reach out to.

I've had to make more than 10 calls on occasion as everyone was busy and I needed to talk...

Anoronha

I'll try and do that baby steps.

Anoronha

The other day there was a newcomer who I was going to say hi to and talk to her but so many people were already talking to her and I had to rush home hope I see her next time.

exauhsted

I'm going to give my 2 cents for what it's worth.

I don't know anything about AA and the 12 steps and so forth.

I think if you feel compelled to HELP someone and the situation arises then you should go with your heart...Everyone has something to give to someone else. If it lays on your heart that you can help... then you should try and I believe that even if it doesn't work out the way you think it was all for a reason be it good for you or be it good for the other... JMHO.

tomsteve

we used to have a detox here in town and the clients would be brought to meetings. early on, when i wasnt even to the 2nd step, the phone number list passed around was actually handed to me to put my number on it! wow! someone felt i was worthy of having my phone number put out to help others!?!?!? well, of course! however what i had to remember is that i couldnt transmit something i didnt have and it was ok to say" i dont know, but theres someone on that list that does."

Threshold

When I was a newcomer, and it was suggested I call two people a day...I didn't want to come off as needy, I didn't want to "bother" anyone, I felt awkward...I was afraid they'd say "who?" because they didn't remember who I was. All the normal human reactions to calling a "stranger."

But I began, baby steps, to call a person every now and then, and to call then when I was ok, not just when I was a mess. And I found out that often as not THEY were needing someone to talk to. THEY were having a shaky day, THEY felt so grateful that someone found them worthy of calling. Sometimes I couldn't get a word in edgewise...and that was fine.

So, it's not a case of "I don't have anything to share" when I suggest you call two people a day. You will find out just how much you have to share. But you will develop a skill of talking, listening, sharing from your heart. In a way it's selfish to just want to sit there safe and let others call you. You never have to reach out. You never have to feel awkward or admit you need someone.

There is much to be learned by getting honest with ourselves, move out of our comfort zone and start reaching out and becoming part of a support network. It's not all about us having others to call, it's also about them knowing we are approchable and available, so they can come to us when they need someone to talk to.

Putting our name on a list and hoping others call us so WE won't have to reach out, is normal, but learning to connect is part of why we are there.

it's safer to sit in an office and take calls from peole we don't know than to have a heart to heart with someone we might see in meeting tomorrow. To share deeply with real people.

I type all this from the anonymous safety of my laptop. I DO appreciate the irony of this.

sugarbear1

It's not just the newcomer who needs to be reached towards, sometimes an "old timer" needs to hear someone is thinking of them, too!