rockindog

2013. You sound like my twin as that is how I have been living my life for the past couple of years. I just had a check up with my doc who really doesn't know what to do with me. He is very kind and supportive but he says, and I know, the decision starts with me. No one else. For the first time, my wife mentioned leaving me, that she doesn't want to, but cannot continue living like this. What a selfish bore I have become. And as I type this, thoughts of hitting the LS are still floating around. I can name a ton of reasons not to ever drink again and for some reason, seem to think just one more day. Just one more bottle. Good luck on your journey.

Forlily

Tell us how you are now, if you don't mind. We want to help.

2013

Hey. Still holding on. It's almost witching hour though and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Like rockindog, I'm struggling. If I step back from my thoughts, I can almost see how my mind is trying to make me think I've already decided to drink tonight, that it's a fait accompli, when it isn't at all. I have to jump back in there and actively fight these thoughts before I take the next wrong step and leave the house and head towards the store. Evil voice: After all, no one will be home until 10 pm and I can drink freely. After all, I have some extra money in my pocket. What's one more day. Start fresh tomorrow. You can almost hear the satanic horror movie twang in those words... And I can feel the cravings beginning, low down under my belly and then rising up towards my throat. Ugh. Trying to fight this. Think I'll go have a coffee or some cold water or something...

MythOfSisyphus

Cold turkey can have some medical risks if you've drank heavily for a long time. I did quit with no withdrawals, which honestly has got to be some medical wonder worthy of a scientific paper! But we can't give medical advice, so do keep an eye on your health.

Be prepared to feel like crap within a few hours of the time you normally start to tie one one. Your body is waiting for it's fix like a dog waiting at the front door for you to get home. It expects you to throw it a bone. Expects, but can't force. AVRT explains that your "beast", the Addictive Voice, is a quadraplegic. It can't do anything for itself. It can only trick you into feeding it. So the AV has grown crafty. You will hear it speaking in your own voice, trying to convince you it's looking out for you. But it most assuredly is not. It only wants a fix and it doesn't care if you die in the process. It has no concept of anything except appetite.

You might be a headache but if you don't cave it will go away. This might sound crazy, but if you can honestly say to youself "I am never going to drink again and I will never change my mind", you may well shortcut the headaches. Worked for me.

You can do this. Don't go by how you feel, that will change. Do go by routine, because your old routine was fitting you for a casket. Let your rational mind call the shots.

FeelingGreat

Focus on how good you are going to feel the next morning, not necessarily physically, at least for a while, but you will feel so proud.