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starting over

Old 04-21-2004, 06:06 AM
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vla
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starting over

I didn't even pretend last night well maybe I did since I actually measured the liquor out so I would know how much I was drinking instead of just pouring it into the glass I had exactly 1/3 of a cup of vodka. My thinking was that I would usually pour 2-3 times that amount so here I was showing constraint. So there ha ha Im not an alcoholic ( that's sarcasm) I know Im an alcoholic are I would not be so possessed by the bottle.
While I was drinking I was getting mad at you posters that have made it which is irrational on my part. Then I got mad that you all would even think Im an alcoholic, but Im the one that came in search of the board. I was thinking I can control my drinking so there.. which comes down if that is true why have I been turning my drinking into a science experiment the last couple of days measuring,trying sleeping pills all to see how much I could drink and still be sober/or still be able to sleep.
Then I was thinking about all that told me to get the liquor out of the house which then I got pissed at hubby who was passed out on the other side of the bed snoring. I can talk to him till Im blue in the face and he says we don't have a problem and if I don't want to drink then don't, he is not going to stop drinking just because I have decided I have a problem. I over react to everything according to him.
Im not giving up just going to start over. I dont how you all do it.
kim
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Old 04-21-2004, 06:20 AM
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Re: starting over

sorry Kim, I just had to smile at your post , how many times I tried the same thing ! ( I am laughing WITH you not at you ) It occured to me , that " normal " people dont even think about drinking , they just DO it lol we analyse it , measure it , stick it in nicer glasses , worry about it , think about it A LOT!, I even used to make sure I finished my 16th or so can, cos I thought it would be a waste to leave it ! LMAO!

So ! back to day 1 !

One day at a time

You can do this

HUGX
Lee
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Old 04-21-2004, 08:05 AM
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Re: starting over

So like me...

I had a glass with marks 1/4 from the bottom so I would know how much vodka was in each pour...I only drank from that cup....didn't stop me from having as many as I wanted...I used it to try and calculate how many I was having in a day...part of my attempt to regulate it...strange behaviour! I though I was doing well if I could limit to 8 of these in a nite...works out to 16 ounces of vodka...

one day at a time as Lee said...You can do it...!!!!!!
Mike
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Old 04-21-2004, 08:22 AM
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Re: starting over

Kim, how we do it? One day at a time, or one evening at a time. You know! Keep coming back!
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Old 04-21-2004, 02:06 PM
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Re: starting over

Good Morning Kim1

How are things with you today ?

Take it easy
One day at a time

HUGX
Lee
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Old 04-21-2004, 02:14 PM
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Re: starting over

How do we do it? Well, first I know that I can't do it alone. I need all of you, I personally need meetings and a relationship with a higher power, I need the 12 steps of the program to help rid me of the crap I carry around with me. I need a program to get and keep recovery.

Sorry I know this is not the AA forum, but you asked .

Seriously, you have to take it slow. Don't think about tomorrow. Try journaling, writing whatever is in your head, just spill it out. You can do this, hubby doing it to or not. You can do it. There is nothing special about me or anyone else sober (well you know what I mean?) recovery is out there for the taking, but it does take work.
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Old 04-22-2004, 11:59 PM
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Re: starting over

I do it one day at a time just like everybody else who's followed the simple program of AA. I thought I could do it on my own and it seems like you're trying to find an easier-softer way just like I did too. The people in AA were there for me in the beginning and it was up to me to reach out to them when I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Now, are you willing to go to any lengths to get sober? :wink2:

I have so much gratitude for the new life that I've been given and I hope you may experience the same gratitude also.
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Old 04-23-2004, 12:23 AM
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Re: starting over

Hi Kim , thinking of you , hope you are OK ?

HUGX
Lee
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Old 04-23-2004, 06:23 AM
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vla
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Re: starting over

Hi Lee, Im doing fine not great but ok. I don't think I can stop drinking right now Im cutting back on it instead I only have 1 ounce a night which is way down from what I used to drink. Then Im still up all night cant sleep. I have rearranged the furniture,washed the carpets,shaved the mats off the cat.
Husband is starting to take me serious he took an extra tv out to the garage and he went out there and drank and watched tv and worked on stuff.
I had my grandbaby yesterday and I could tell a difference I had a lot more energy and didn't feel woozy like I used to.
I think since Im not stopping all at once just cutting back a little every week I would not post since I know that most will disagree with my method.
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Old 04-23-2004, 06:31 AM
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Re: starting over

You know vla, your not the first to experiment with a method to quit. We all get there our own way. The only thing is to make a honest effort towards getting there. You have done that by seeking out the support and guidance from us here. Your not the only one struggling to get to complete abstinance, so keep coming back, hopefully something someone will say will get you there. We all know how difficult it is. Like Paulie said, I too couldn't do it alone and needed people like me. Keep coming back!
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Old 04-23-2004, 12:11 PM
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Re: starting over

Hey ! Kim ! So glad I found you again! lol I was wondering how you were .

Kim, dont you dare stop posting ! As Chy said, we all have our road to recovery , it is the honest effort that counts

I am glad that your husband is finally making the effort to help, it must make a difference . How wonderful that you can now enjoy your Grandbaby ! it is good to feel better isnt it ?

Kim, recovery is a journey , not a destination, we all take different routes , with the same goal in mind !

HUGX
Lee
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Old 04-23-2004, 12:18 PM
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Re: starting over

Kim, If I were ever to disagree with anyone trying to help themselves in an honest way, may my friend Lee boot me where it counts! Not posting would be a serious mistake I think.
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Old 04-28-2004, 12:13 PM
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vla
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Re: starting over

HI all I wanted to pop in and say I haven't had a drink since I posted on the 23. My sister and her husband visited yesterday and everyone drank but me. I don't have the slightest desire to drink.
Its odd really I'm beginning to think I was not an alcoholic but close to becoming one. I have not had any withdrawal symptoms, I've been sleeping better the last couple days then I have in a long time. I was so afraid to try to quit panicked when I thought about not drinking. Then I was so embarrassed to post that I was so weak and having 1 oz of vodka a night...then I thought how stupid I was being if I can go from having prolly around a pint a night to 1 oz a night why should I have to have any at all. I mean whats 1 oz I might as well have been drinking straight water.
I know I did not post long are much but I want to thank you all for the advice here and support that I could do this.
If I feel weak I will pop back in before I ever drink again.
Thanks so much all
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Old 04-28-2004, 12:29 PM
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Re: starting over

KIM,THERES ALWAYS SOMEONE AROUND.
5 DAYS IS TO BE COMMENDED,GREAT JOB.
IF YOU NEED TO TALK,PLEASE DO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THIS PLACE!
MY DISEASE TOLD ME I WAS'NT "THAT BAD",WHAT A LIE.
IT'S CUNNING,BAFFLING AND POWERFUL-THANKS TRISH
HANG IN THERE,WISHING YOU WELL, ted

:beerchug: :uzi2:
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Old 04-28-2004, 07:24 PM
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Arrow Re: starting over

Congradulations on your five days!Keep postin! Learning about alcoholism was a very powerful tool for me and still is in my recovery.Hang in there it sounds like just by putting down the drink your life has gotten better! Peace and prayers to you.. Trish.
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