Tetra

I am lying in bed with the flu and feeling sorry for myself. I think it's stress related, I had a hard week, this week. I also feel a bit run down. I can't eat or drink without feeling sick. My aunt is a GP and she told me to drink as much water as possible and try to get some rest, and if I feel really bad, to take a motilium, for nausea.

As I am lying here, all I can think of is: I'm 32 years old, no job, still living with my parents, no significant other. I'm feeling like a right loser at the moment. Will it be another 32+ years of being a giant loser? Does anybody have any words of wisdom?

Also just lying here, it's funny how this flu reminds me of a hangover, when I used to drink.(The nausea, etc.) I can't believe I used to do a days work like this At the moment I can hardly make it to the bathroom

Caledonia1

Sorry you're feeling unwell. For me low moods and feeling unwell usually come together.

At 32 years old it's plenty of time to find that someone special and especially now you're sober life can only get better.

Take care and chin up.

Get well soon.

vegibean

You know Tetra, when I'm already feeling bad, I sometimes put on a sad movie and just let it all out!! But out the tissues and just let myself go, it's such a good release.

I'm divorced twice, my last X is the biggest a-hole on the planet, and you don't want me to get started on him...

I'm 42 years old, work a desk job and am still not finished with college... You have way more time than I do!!! And you know what?? I'm not feeling sorry for myself, BUT I know we all have those days, and I know we all get in that place sometimes in our life, so I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes you need to just have a little "there, there now, it'll get better..."

I don't know what to tell you to turn it around, but I say either go with it, or find something to make you laugh and cheer you up. You're not a loser, you're having a "moment" and we all have them. :ghug3

regeneration

Hey Tetra.... Few years ago I couldn't get a job, I'd moved back home to care for my mother, and then things just seemed to spiral (my drinking did as well back then).

But now, I have a good job, I'm sober, and live somewhere nice. I was in my late 30s then and now I'm early 40s...life does get better as without the alcohol my decision making got better and the fog cleared.

I'm not saying everything is great but without the booze I slowly improved on a lot of things.

If you've got flu, you're going to feel lousy, keep thinking "this too shall pass", and once feeling better you can keep working on yourself. Being sober helps everything along the way. You can make a plan about the work and relationships at a later date when feeling better, one foot in front of the other for now.

[EDIT] Meant to add, weird thing is, now I'm sober the things that got to me don't matter as much as they once did... though I'd love to be in a stable relationship but that's for later in the year. Sometimes I do think "why am I still single.. bah". You're not a loser at all, anyone, even non-alcoholics can have things happen to them that put them back for a bit, the economy isn't great. Hang in there.

Tetra

Thank you all.

At the moment I'm back in college doing a postgraduate course (part-time). I'm hoping to travel a bit when I graduate...but right now, on this stormy night...those plans seem incredibly far off, and I feel very down tonight.

GhostFace

Have faith Tetra,

Its been years since i had a relationship, i feel like i have to get my things together before i could jump into any type of relation. Im 27, live in the attic of my parents home, work in the I.T field for a dead end company, single but, I FEEL GREAT. Now that im sober, im able to plan for tomorrow, have money in my pocket, and i have that absolute faith that things are only going to get better.

I always knew that if i quit drinking, things will change but i was never ready to give it up even if i been locked up, had fights, lost my license due to drinking, i just loved that damn Scotch. I know what it feels like to be loser but it's all in the mind. Keep a positive mental attitude and practice having that absolute faith that things will work out for you!

Feel better

soberclover

You mentioned Tetra not feeling well and it may be night time....two combinations that have a tendency to throw me to the dark side. Relationships always seem like something we want when we don't have one and something we don't necessarily want when we do have one! A warm cup of herbal tea and hopefully you will get some well deserved rest

paul99

Make a list of 10 things that you are grateful for today, even if you don't feel grateful and don't think there is no point in it. Just try it.

You'll be surprised to see your feeling of being down lessened, even going. It's when I don't feel like doing a gratitude list is when I need it the most. I know it's not a chicken soup cure, but it is like chicken soup for the s---I won't say it, I don't want to be sued by those people who make those books.

Try it

vegibean

I agree with paul99, it works for me too.

Sasha4

Get well soon beautiful Tetra!

No more silly thoughts!
No way are you a loser.
Losers don't get a year plus without a drink.
Losers don't study for post grad degrees.

Your just ill. Your cooped up at home, in bed.
I have been ill too.
When I am in bed, it takes me back to the hangover days.
It makes me think things that are just not right.

Get some sleep.
Get dreaming of all you will see on your travels.

I wish you well

Adillac

You'll feel better and forget you even had the flu

Fadedjeans

Its been 4 yrs since my last relationship. Forget what one is like unless I sit and reflect for a long time. My day goes by so quickly and no time to think.

deeker

Oh Tetra I don't know if they are words of wisdom but def can relate. 51 lost everything, living with elderly parents and was unemployed up till a few days ago. Yah but you are just around a year sober right? Sounds like you are staying sober , and if you do the next right thing everything will fall into place.

My life has changed so much in a year. Lotsa good things are happening. Things I thought would never happen. I didn't have a license for 7 yrs. Never thought I would ever drive again. I'm driving. Thought I'd be homeless! Living comfortably, my needs are met. Was jobless and penniless, Got a job.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remain faithful. You are still young,You'll find work. I really had no real skills and a job just fell into my life. Put your trust in God for everything,he won't let you down. Seek his will and the good stuff will follow.

I am grateful I had a year to build a foundation In AA and my recovery. Bless you!