relationships and opportunities lost because of alcohol....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: florida
Posts: 207
relationships and opportunities lost because of alcohol....
well,
i am at 21 days at this point. I feel pretty good right now.. have been doing AA and have a sponsor, well, sort of.. I was just thinking on how many people(relationships) and opportunities I have lost because of my alcoholism these last 8 years or so... that's when it just started getting bad. it seems though - this last year alot of my so called friends have completely given up on me.. it seems liker they don't want to have anything to do with me.. sucks.. granted, i still have a few that I talk to, but i was once a popular and a well liked person, now, it seems to be gone.. it's amazing what alcohol has done.. nothing like feeling alone.. well, less than..and the jobs lost.. that's a whole other thing.....i'm not having a pity party and I realize I have another chance to get recovery again.. but, this reality I have made for myself kind of sucks. anyway, move forward. right...
i am at 21 days at this point. I feel pretty good right now.. have been doing AA and have a sponsor, well, sort of.. I was just thinking on how many people(relationships) and opportunities I have lost because of my alcoholism these last 8 years or so... that's when it just started getting bad. it seems though - this last year alot of my so called friends have completely given up on me.. it seems liker they don't want to have anything to do with me.. sucks.. granted, i still have a few that I talk to, but i was once a popular and a well liked person, now, it seems to be gone.. it's amazing what alcohol has done.. nothing like feeling alone.. well, less than..and the jobs lost.. that's a whole other thing.....i'm not having a pity party and I realize I have another chance to get recovery again.. but, this reality I have made for myself kind of sucks. anyway, move forward. right...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I think there comes a point we have to let the past go Pete.
We can't change a second, as much as we'd like to.
I try to see it like this....everything that happened to me, good bad and ugly, bought me to where I am now...and thats no bad place to be.
Todays a day we can do a lot about - it's best to focus on that I reckon, mate
congrats on 3 weeks
D
We can't change a second, as much as we'd like to.
I try to see it like this....everything that happened to me, good bad and ugly, bought me to where I am now...and thats no bad place to be.
Todays a day we can do a lot about - it's best to focus on that I reckon, mate
congrats on 3 weeks
D
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I can choose to see the things my alcoholism took from me or I can choose to see what blessings sobriety brings me. I choose to see the possibilities rather than the used to have, could have hads or should have hads.
The easiest way for me to do that when I start to get in that self pity mode is to not just say but study the Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the Serenity to ACCEPT the things I can NOT CHANGE
(I can not change the past or the things that my alcoholism took from me)
The COURAGE to CHANGE the things I CAN
(the only thing I can affect is what happens today, right now, in this minute)
and the WISDOM to KNOW the DIFFERENCE
(I know the difference because I am sober today. When I drank I confused the past, the present and the future. I would relive scenes in my head over and over only instead of what had happened being in my head I would have what I wanted to have happened. Like that somehow was going to change anything. I thought that I was preparing myself in case the situation happened again but the bottom line is there was no preparation because I created many of those bad situations through my alcoholism. Today I don't have to create those situations nor do I have to sit in my self pity instead I can look at today as a door to a brighter future rather than a door to a darker past.)
The easiest way for me to do that when I start to get in that self pity mode is to not just say but study the Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the Serenity to ACCEPT the things I can NOT CHANGE
(I can not change the past or the things that my alcoholism took from me)
The COURAGE to CHANGE the things I CAN
(the only thing I can affect is what happens today, right now, in this minute)
and the WISDOM to KNOW the DIFFERENCE
(I know the difference because I am sober today. When I drank I confused the past, the present and the future. I would relive scenes in my head over and over only instead of what had happened being in my head I would have what I wanted to have happened. Like that somehow was going to change anything. I thought that I was preparing myself in case the situation happened again but the bottom line is there was no preparation because I created many of those bad situations through my alcoholism. Today I don't have to create those situations nor do I have to sit in my self pity instead I can look at today as a door to a brighter future rather than a door to a darker past.)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: SC
Posts: 133
I try not to spend too much time thinking about the past. It happened. I can learn from it and not beat myself up over it. And if I look too far ahead, I get overwhelmed...I don't know where I'm going with this, but I am trying to appreciate the moment. I'm not sure if this helps or not, but I hope you move forward and continue to do well and stay positive.
All best to you!
All best to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 7
Ya I know exactly what Pete's saying though ( or think I do).... for me,
it's not so much that all those relationships and opportunities are gone/missed, but more that everybody around me NOTICED and KNEW i was fu**in up so badly, and was probably mocking me the whole time...sort of like " how could i be so blind, (especially when I USED to consider myself so smart )....I've beat myself up a LOT over my past arrogance, over my complete blindness...the outcome ? i'm humbler, cooler, and ,oh ya, smarter lol. The difference is now, when I do something that reflects my humbleness, coolness, intelligence, I'm GRATEFUL for having that capablity, for being a PART of humanity, instead of taking it for granted, acting like I can do it all in my sleep, like i INVENTED awesome. Anyway Pete, that's normal. I guess.
My advice? Beat yourself up until you KNOW you've changed on the inside, and it reflects through your NEW relationships/opportunities.
it's not so much that all those relationships and opportunities are gone/missed, but more that everybody around me NOTICED and KNEW i was fu**in up so badly, and was probably mocking me the whole time...sort of like " how could i be so blind, (especially when I USED to consider myself so smart )....I've beat myself up a LOT over my past arrogance, over my complete blindness...the outcome ? i'm humbler, cooler, and ,oh ya, smarter lol. The difference is now, when I do something that reflects my humbleness, coolness, intelligence, I'm GRATEFUL for having that capablity, for being a PART of humanity, instead of taking it for granted, acting like I can do it all in my sleep, like i INVENTED awesome. Anyway Pete, that's normal. I guess.
My advice? Beat yourself up until you KNOW you've changed on the inside, and it reflects through your NEW relationships/opportunities.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
I found it helpful to not dwell on nor discount the past, and to not dwell on nor discount the future. So today is what I have, and that is where I stay. I lost what I needed to lose for a reason, and I am here, today, in this moment, and I am sober. That's all I have to look at.
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