migeon02

I've been sober for 10 years without the help of aa. Before i got sober this time i was in and out of aa, notorious for getting a 24 hour chip. Most of the time i was sober i was in rehab or alternative incarceration centers. I met some great people in aa, became friends with a few, but never liked the program itself. It seemed like i became obsessed with self, wanting to change but doing nothing about it. I dont like sitting up front or telling my story to a bunch of people or sharing about whats going on with me. I do better when i dont think about whats going on with me. I used to feel worse after i shared at a meeting. I do misss the few friends i made, we did have some good times. I miss the friendship but dont miss the meetings. In no way am i in danger of a slip, a miracle occured 10 years ago. The obsession just vanished after one of the worst relapses i ever had and believe me i loved alchohol! Im just wondering if i should give aa another shot.

Sapling

Why do you mean give it another shot? Work the steps with a sponsor?

Xune

You've been sober 10 years.

Only you know if you would benefit from rejoining AA and working the steps.

Yeah?

freshstart57

Migeon02, congratulations on 10 years of sobriety! That is a success story in anyone's books.

You are well informed about AA because of your earlier involvement with the fellowship, so you are aware of the self-examination and confession aspect of the 12 Steps, and the prayer and service aspects as well.

So, you don't miss the meetings, and you find that you didn't fit the program of AA, and you are sober and obsession free. Why do you want to restart your involvement?

mfanch

"IF you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps." Alcoholics Anonymous 1st ed, 58.

The answer to this question will tell you if AA is for you.

migeon02

I guess hanging out with people who have something in common with me.I try not to hang out with people who drink.

mfanch

Well unfortunately, going to meetings without doing the work is called a free ride. It provides a false sense of security but doesn't provide sobriety. I did it for years...I call it my dry time. I wasn't honest, joyous or in possession of any coping skills. Sure, I had some sober friends, but found that they were free riders, too. And then I drank.

Later, I worked the program the way it's written and BAM, fourth dimension living. I recommend it.

Db1105

It can't hurt to try it again.

soberlicious

It sounds to me like you are looking for people to have fun with that don't drink, but don't need help staying sober per se. Meetings might be one place to find that, but keep in mind that the only thing you might have in common with many of them is that you don't drink. I usually base my friendships on a little more than that, like common interests in activies, similar out look on life, values, humor, etc. That said, many meetings do organize outside actvities like bowling, karaoke, bbgs, dances, and whatnot.
What do you like to do? I know there are meet-ups in most communities for all kinds of things that don't involve drinking...kayaking, photography, cooking, running...you name it it's probably near-by. Just a thought.

tomsteve

the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.
hope ya go and keep goin.

Coldfusion

Well, for whatever reason, come on down! We'd love to have you join us. Maybe you will end up reaching out and helping someone.

TheEnd

You just named a bunch of reasons why you don't like AA and you don't need the program to stay sober, but you're considering going back to make friends? Hmm....might be worth a shot, but there are other ways of meeting people. My personal experience (and this is only my experience) is people in AA like to hang out with other active people in AA and you will spend your free time talking about AA. Once you become bored with AA again, it will be like you never had anything in common. Since you're not that into the program, I don't know if this will work for you, because you will become bored very quickly. But you're experience could be different, so you might want to give it a shot.

paul99

I am having a bit of a time trying to figure out where you are going with on your post. I don't know you, hence I don't know if you're really enjoying things in life, or if in these past 10 years you've felt that something is missing from your recovery (outside the friends issue). If you are content, and don't dig the AA program, I don't see the need for going to AA. If you feel that you'd like to work the steps and get really involved, then hell yeah, get in there.

But if it's just a social thing, then I agree with soberlicious - lots of things you can do and people to hang out with that doesn't involve drinking, and is not just about not drinking. I love my AA friends, but if I want to go rock climbing, I go with people who love rock climbing. If I want to hang out and talk program and recovery, I hang out with my AA pals.

Bennko64

I would recommend AA to anyone who want's to stop drinking... in view of your 10 year sobriety it perhaps sounds like a social thing rather than that hopeless lost feeling we can have when we first attend AA. Perhaps this isn't the right place to voice my feelings about AA at this time... it's personal to each individual how they feel about the program and I share some of your feelings towards meetings. After 2 and 1/2 years. I'm actually thinking of leaving AA, and the reason is because I feel that meetings keep me focused on Alcoholism, I don't feel free from it... I feel like I'm free of active alcoholism but I have this constant reminder about alcohol and what it was like whenever I attend a meeting. Someone who has never attend AA but knows me very well said to me "Let go of the lifeboat" That goes against all AA principle. But I thought maybe their right, maybe I should let go. Some people would say to me.... you'll drink if you leave... but that's my point it's that attachment, that tying down to the lifeboat... that I feel prevents me from living a free life. Socially I feel lucky to also have chess in my life, perhaps you could learn to play. Sometimes it can be tricky thinking of a club to join. Anyone who reads this please do not let this sway your thoughts about AA. This is a personal thing and I have given it a lot of thought.

TheEnd

I shared some of your feelings and after 3 years of attending 12 step fellowships (AA/NA), I decided to leave. It doesn't mean that I don't follow some of the principles, I just needed to step away and get a breather.

Bennko64

Thank you that was very helpful to read.... Yes... I must say a breather sounds very appealing.

hamabi

Not to disparage the miracle you received, but is it possible that it came with a shelf life?

Taking out a little insurance to get over the 11 year hump, a spot where many alcoholics drink again and on into your teen years might be smart.

sugarbear1

What are your motives? Be aware of them....

It's always nice to have sober people in your life!

AA isn't for everyone. You've made it this far.....

Have you seen Don C.'s 4 Seasons of Recovery on utube?

Threshold

Speaking from my own experience in dealing with various significant life issues. I have taken steps (not necessarily the 12) at certain times in my life to address an issue head on. I consciously worked on it.

Some of those issues healed over time and became non issues. I moved on, having integrated new ways in my life, and I don't much think of them. Others took quite some time to get to that point, and some are still with me, decades later I still struggle with them, find them still invading my life and psyche, and require me to be active, sometimes vigilant in addressing them.

Others only pop up in response to specific stimuli.

The fact that you came here and brought up this issue seems to me as if it still impacts your life. You're sober, but drinking and the issues related to it are still issues. So you feel some degree of maintenance and support is required to stay free of it.

I think the suggestion of getting involved in activities focused around other interests is a great idea. Staying busy with interesting people doing positive things is good for all of us. But as far as sobriety maintenace, have you considered AA big book study or step study meetings? Those are the one's where people don't sit around spilling their guts and talking obsessively about the dreary dregs of alcoholism but are rather focused on the solution and maintenance of sobriety, the program rather than the problem.

I think this is where the "disease" simile about alcoholism fits well. Some diseases get treated and are gone and require no further intervention. Other are chronic and we must stay on meds or take other treatments our entire lives to manage them.

Which type of "disease" fits your experience of alcoholism in your life? Are you cured, or is this chronic?

digderidoo

I have had similar thoughts in the past, but recently i have heard one or two things said that hit home.
One guy was saying that he attends meetings to watch people recover, there is nothing quite like watching someone coming into the rooms in a mess and over a period of time watching them grow and get sober, it's something you will never see if you don't go to meetings.
Also the 'pearls of wisdom' from recovering alcoholics, that are not in the Big Book or literature. For instance a friend the other day told me concerning an issue i was having to 'stop living in the problem and live in the solution, as i will still be moaning about it in six months time'. People telling me this stuff is not something i can read in the literature. Recovering alcoholics are like minded people that you will never meet if you don't go to meetings.
Recently this is something i have realised that, I can only do so much by reading. AA to me is about the program and meetings, the meetings are the fellowship, its where i meet like minded people, get inspiration from those I watch recovering and receive pearls of wisdom when i need it, these are things i would never get if i just stuck to working the problem independently.