LadyinBC

For me I had to accept this in order to move forward. It's a scary thought especially "forever", but I know I will never beable to have just one drink and stop at one. I do try to get thru just one day at a time and not think about years from now. Each day I stay sober makes me feel stronger, but I know that I am always going to have to work on myself.

Caldus

If you're lucky to make it back after a slip (if you're lucky enough for it to not turn into a 10 year bender -- do you really want to push your luck with that?), then just take it as a lesson for what happens when you don't do the work for recovery.

Threshold

slips...relapses...something wasn't working

I come here,for ideas, inspiration, hope,common sense

What was I hoping to find in a bottle? Where might I ACTUALLY find what I was looking for? Do I really want to feel what drinking and drugging make me feel? What would I tell a friend in this situation to do instead of drinking?

Then I try that...what would a hopeful person do...and I try it.

sometimes I feel like I don't care anymore, so I have to ask myself..why? why did you stop caring?

I know drinking/drugging is not the answer, and a little clean time has proven that. I was telling a friend today I've been clean from drugs for a year. A year. And there has not been one single thing that happened in this long painful year that would have been better had I been using.

That helps...perspective

Threshold

respectfully..

If someone had been using a particular program with success then stopped working it and failed, then returning to the program might indeed be the answer. But if someone was truly applying themselves and keeps slipping, doubling up on what wasn't working may not be the solution.

some methods and "medcin's" just don't work for particular people.

fear of trying something different CAN lead to failure. It's important to stay in the game even if that means getting on a different team and under a new coach.

Xune

With sober second thought, do you really believe you were doing well?

Just to let you know, your post asking if fear would be enough to keep you sober, was created less than 45 hours before this one.

You now have your answer. Fear will not keep you sober.

What changes are you willing to make and what supports will you surround yourself with in order to succeed?

paul99

Have you spoken to your sponsor since?

escapist

When I feel like I'm losing I have to think intensly about my last drunk. I was just a buzz in a middle aged womans body. I do come to this site. A lot. I swear I can type faster now. I don't know if it's sobriety or the SoberRecovery school of typing

stepping

I also agree with what Dee said (as usual, lol). I "rode out my first craving EVER recently". I wanted to drink so bad it felt like I was going to pass out or puke. My whole body felt the craving. All I could hear was that voice and I felt what you did, it hurt I felt like at first well here we go again I am just going to drink. But, then I said NO I AM NOT GONNA DRINK to myself. I had 8 days at that time. Anyway, the old me would have walked across the street and drank til that little voice shut up. But, instead this time. I called a friend, prayed, ate a pop tart, went to a meeting, got on SR and messaged a friend to give me their number and that I needed help. It took about an hour but it passed. I didn't drink. I rode a craving out for the first time in my life. I won, SB! Do you know how great that felt?? This illness is always there in my head sometimes stronger than other times but if I beat it that time at it's PEAK & I know I can do it again and again. That stupid voice/feeling can not make me pick up. I have to consciously buy the product, walk my butt across the street and lift it to my lips. I am in charge of that! I will win again when these craving will happen again. And again I will show them who is boss, me You can too SB.

Also, another thing for me.... I always wanted to get sober and make the pain, anxiety, shaking, hangovers, unmanageabilty all that junk to go away but still wanted to enjoy a drink now and again...but be sober MOST of the time. Well I realized that doesn't work for me because I am an alcoholic. I realize now I can not drink EVER AGAIN! It got easier when I removed that option from the table, period. I do not drink alcohol...now or in the future...NEVER.

You got a ton of support here and I hope you choose to try out a sober life because the rewards are worth it.

If AA is not for you well try something different. I just started AA (this go around) and have been to a meeting daily (minus holidays), I read the BB, I work hard to find a sponsor, I share at meeting and listen intensely, I secratary a meeting and am the first to raise my hand when help is needed there, I work on meditation and praying to God, i come to SR to help and learn, I read, read, and read some more about my disease..... I do anything I can to make my sobriety number 1. Do all those things if you decide AA is for you. I have been trying this sobriety thing for 1.5 years...and walked into AA at the beginning of that time, well it didn't work for me then bc i wasn't working it. I was expecting a miracle without any effort. This time I see that sobriety has to be number 1, I have to work the heck outta AA and spirituality and remove alcohol from my life 1000000%

You can do it!

Thanks for letting me rant