Paul123456

......i had a awful day yesterday, everything was kicking off around the house, i was stuck in my room for over 5 hours and all i wanted was a drink to get me through. After everything went quite i just lay in bed and kept missing everything to do with drink and the friends i let go because of the booze link, then just broke down and cried, i must have fell asleep after that but this is stupid, how can some one get better and sober if there is two screaming alcoholics in the house who have no intention of giving up, i had that horrible feeling of 'i give up' last night, i feel so trapped. sorry for ranting but i have no one to talk to which is why im writing this here.

Jeni26

That sounds really tough, sorry you're going through that.
What are your living arrangements? Do you live at home with your parents?

Living with a 'screaming alcoholic' is something I did for many years. It isn't an ideal environment to get sober in.

Are there alternatives for you?

heath480

You could call AA Paul.

I dont know which part of Warwickshire you are in but the numbers are.

Birmingham 0121-212-0111 (covers out as far as Tamworth and also Atherstone.) I know more about this area as I do Telephone Service in it.


Coventry and Warwick 024-7661-2211.

You sound s if you could do with some face to face support.No need to do it on your own.

BillyPilgrim

That is hard, no doubt at all

If those around you are drinking and are not going to stop, you do need support from outside.

AA is a good answer, it does not work for everyone, but even going along a few times can help.

Try a few different meets.

I did not stop via AA, but it helped me on my journey.

You are probably going to have to reassess those you have around you, I have tried not to drink whilst amongst hardened drinkers, and it does not work, you get sucked back in.

Making the break hurts, but it is better in the long term, believe me, that is the only way you build a better life.

BP

hamabi

The short answer is that drinking didn't work well, and I felt like you described without a drink after a while.

So I had to find a way that made things better without running to a drink occasionally, and I did things I didn't care to do to alter how I perceived the things that used to get to me and require a drink. Without recurring drink-related problems my life slowly improved to be better than were I never an alcoholic to begin with.

If you do something along those lines you can expect similar results. And in a few decades you can be the one informing someone who doesn't know that there's a solution for how rough he feels.

Will he get it and act to move away from his misery and madness, or will he instead figure he can finesse this little difficulty just fine on his own somehow, someway? No worries, either way his decision will have no effect on you at all.

That's how I do it, since you're asking.

Fernaceman

I needed something outside myself to help. God is in control and has given me the power to not pick up the first drink. I found this through AA and the 12 steps. Wonderful things continue to happen on a daily basis.

Sorry you are feeling down.

Anna

I'm sorry you have to deal with such chaos. I grew up in a similar environment and it's so toxic.

Can you focus on finding a way to move out of the house? It might take time to find a job and save some money, but maybe having the goal to move out would help you to get through this.

Paul123456

i would love to leave, i am unable to work because of my anxiety disorder (thats what started all my problems) and i have no other alternatives, basically im stuck here.

thanks for all the replies

Jeni26

You will find people to support you in AA Paul.

Have you tried phoning the helpline? That's how I got started.

It isn't hopeless, no matter how it feels to you right now x

tehmazzyland

AA is a good place to start, and if you find it helps and will work then go for it. There are also other alcohol and addiction services besides AA, if you feel like it isn't the right path.

If you google "alcohol services warwickshire" you can get a list of different organisations - ring EVERY ONE and see which sounds like they can offer you the most help. It sounds like you really do want to stop, so it's worth trying every single thing that will support you.

And although SR is online not face to face, blurbling random rubbish on any threads in cafe central and the social groups will help pass the hours - and every hour you stick with not drinking is a victory dude. Hours become days.

Hope you find some support. It is worth it - think Jenson on an Ironman, grit the teeth and do anything to get through, because at the end it IS worth it. And it is - it is possible. You have the strength - or you'd not be on here admitting how hard it is. That's strength in itself.

Stick with it.

Gravel

How about getting into video games online? Do you have high speed internet? You could lock your door and play games with a headset on. Let the drunks be drunks and you could tune them out.

Just a thought. but I wouldn't like living with drunks either if i was sober. They are selfish idiots.

Whatever you dont don't join them.

paul99

The thing is that regardless of your circumstances, you can recover. And vice-versa, if you are recovered, you can be in any circumstances. Where you're at right now isn't the best, of course, but if you truly recover, where the obsession to drink leaves you, then you are free to be in any situation and not be "triggered". Doesn't sound as big a mountain as it sounds. Lots of direction to go to AA here so far, and I join the chorus, as AA has worked for me. You can go other routes too. There are so many of us that don't need to avoid the liquor aisle in the store, or run to the hills when someone at a party has a drink. You don't have to feel hemmed into your room and give up on being sober.

Paul123456

yeah i used to be a avid online gamer but thats what was fueling my drinking lol because of my anxiety i had to drink loads to pluck up the confidence to go online and play with my mates

Jeni26

Paul, are you getting medical help to cope with your anxiety levels?x

Paul123456

i was a couple of years ago when my anxiety was the main issue but not now, they didnt want to put me on anything because the stupid doctor i used to use left me on dizapam to long and got addicted to them and had to get off them, id be quite happy to deal with the anxiety if i were given a chance but i dont really get it here

Jeni26

Well I can understand about the diazepam, having had issues in the past with that myself.

But I think you need to go and see your Doctor to discuss this. It sounds as though your anxiety is seriously affecting your ability to move forward. If you 'needed' a drink to give you confidence to play video games, then dealing with other stuff is going to seem overwhelmingly hard.
There are other options besides diazepam. I was on medication for years and it was not addictive, and believe me I can get addicted to anything.
There are also f2f counselling options.

My anxiety decreased when I stopped drinking. Alcohol actually worsens it rather than numbs it I found out!

I'd urge you to seek another medical opinion x

Paul123456

well i was actually going to go to the docs today but after the events of last night i didn't get any sleep and didn't feel up for it, i don't know if i should talk to her about my living situation or if i should try and get a council flat or something but even if i did i don't know how i would afford it, id rather live on my own and only have 1 meal a day etc than live here. thanks for all the advice btw i appreciate it

TrixMixer

Hi Paul,

I happen to agree with Jeni 26.
Just a few questions, if you wouldn't mind answering?

1-How long have you been sober
2-Are these people you live with your parents?
3-were you seeing a Psychiatrist for the anxiety?
4-How old are you?

I have been on anti-anxiety meds for the last 20 years, these are anti-depressents. They are not habit forming because they take a month to gradually correct the chemical imbalance in your brain that causes the anxiety.
That anxiety was why I began drinking--to self -medicate.

Even without knowing the answers to the above questions I would say an addiction counselor for the alcohol and a pharmo physcologist or phychiatrist for your anxiety disorder. The anxiety could be the root of All your problems .

Until and if your living arrangement changes --don't go back to gaming, but you may want to get some books on tape to listen to and tune them out. Self help books, books on alcoholism, or other subjects you might be interested in.

Just some ideas, and the questions are just to gwt to know your situation better--not a way of prying into your life.

Trix

BillyPilgrim

Paul I have had mental issues this year.
I dont say that the answers I got were all helpful but before I was there and now I am here
and here is better

Take that first step even though you know nothing about the staircase
it is the only way

Paul123456

hi trix

1-ive only just started to stop drinking, today is day 4
2-yes they are my parents
3-i was seeing someone a couple of years ago but i finished the course, i was also getting relaxation training while i was there
4-im 27.... 28 in march


thanks for all the responses everyone