Relapsing after 5 weeks of success
 

Hello everyone ,
so today I decided that I can control my drinking and can have only couple drinks (after 5 weeks of sobriety). So I went to a sushi place and ordered one beer and one LARGE sake ...After that i had countless amount of drinks and got really drunk... So the whole purpose of my writing right now is to tell you guys that drinking was not fun or anything close to it ...DO NOT RELAPSE - its not worth it .

Glad you're back and here and passing the word on.

I have yet to find someone who has gone back out and said what a blast it's been. Thank you for the reminder. I hope to hear about your success back on the sobriety path :)

I went to my first AA meeting in 96 in Florida, I am now living overseas, I've been relapsing ever since after few months of sobriety here and there and it's been hell on earth the days after every relapse ever since, I am back to doing my program, I relapsed again 3 weeks ago, sober today and going to a meeting today here in Norh africa. not giving up, I don't have a choice anyway.

RussianBob,

really getting that i couldn't control it took a long time for me, but it's been crucial to not relapsing.
after that...lots of other stuff. :)
what are your plans for a different outcome five weeks from now?

I kinda disrespect myself and now I have to reset my clock ... It's no longer 35 days - its 0 starting today. In addition, I do not want to go to AA meetings - for some reason I believe I can handle my problem without them.

Another thing - I am doing ok in my life : I got a good job , finishing my MBA , working out . As the result, I always tell myself that my drinking is not that bad if i can handle those things and keep drinking . But since I am here, I want to stop and be more prosperous in my life and never feel ashamed for things I've done while drunk . I also do not want to feel horribly the next day

I also forgot to mention that 3 of my serious relationships with women were over due to my drinking.

Our problem is not alcohol.

Our problem is learning to deal with life on life's terms, something we usually need help with......but your situation might be different.

I wish you well on your sober journey!

Great to hear that you made the decision you will handle this problem and stop drinking as of today.

Hope you'll occasionally post about your progress as you go along.

Good luck to you!

QUALITY vs QUANTITY

I learned thru out my journey
in sobriety that it's the quality
of soberiety or recovery that
is more important than the
quanity of the number of days
sober or clean time one has.

Build a strong foundation with
the tools and knowledge of a
recovery program to live upon
and incoperated in your everyday
life to insure a healthier, happier,
freer life for years to come.

So what are you going to do different this time so that you don't relapse again?

Same S...t, Different Day, is usually not an effective strategy.

For me personally its not so much about not being able to have "just a few"- I can always have a few and stop if I really need to but its damn unpleasant- torture is a word that comes to mind. It truly is white knuckling to the highest degree and eventually I get blasted and the constant drinking starts over again- even if it takes a few days/weeks/months. (Usually very soon rather than later)

I think AA might help bob, it helps me to have a support community. Glad you get back on here and back on the horse.

I know, Bob. We think we can use willpower to control it, but it never works. I had many failed attempts, but I finally got it - I can't touch a drop. Glad you didn't give up - you came here to talk about it. Start again, with new determination. :)

I think many of us think at some point that we can control it. I tried to moderate myself, only drink on the weekends, only have a few etc. Never worked for me.

What has worked for me is that I have resigned myself to the fact that one drink for me is too many and 100 will never be enough. I just can't stop at one. I've accepted this and once I did this I found it a bit easier not to take that drink. My ego didn't like it, but it is what it is and my ego has caused enough problems for myself.

However, this journey of staying sober is not easy and I do have good days and bad days even though I have made my life simpler.

Just remember that you have 5 weeks of being sober and no one can take that away from you. Try to focus on that.

Sorry you had a relapse, but thank you for scouting it out and doing some experimenting for me. Can add another check to the column of it not being worth it and does not get better. I have been fooled with that mindset all too many times. ;)