John117

Hello everyone. I am an alcoholic. I stopped drinking when I was 22. I have been sober for 13 years and decided to give wine a try a few months ago. Big mistake.
I thought since I am older and have a family, I would be able to handle a two glasses of wine. Unfortunately I cant. My drinking has progressed from two glasses of wine to half a pint of jack every other day. My wife and I rarely fought but now we are fighting a lot more. Typically after I had a few drinks.

I told her about my past and why I quit drinking and she thinks I may fall back to the old days. She didn't really know me back then. When we got married I was sober for 7 years.

Now I am trying to get sober again and it seems a lot harder than it did 13 years ago. Everyday is a challenge. But I am taking it one day at a time. Thanks.

awuh1

It might indeed be harder, in some ways, this time around. Check out an AA meeting. It might make things a bit easier. Your story might also be just the thing someone there needs to hear.

hamabi

Make good use of whatever help is available to you. I've known people who've regained the sober life after similar time as yourself, but it seems to take a complete and overwhelming commitment on their part.

Fernaceman

What did you do before to get/stay sober? Seems like you might already have the answer. Just need to up some action behind the desire to succeed.

Dee74

Hi and welcome John
I think it is harder, for sure, to stop again - but far from impossible

you'll find a lot of support here

D

liv1ce

I had been clean of alcohol for almost 17 years and from opiates for 10 before I had a "problem" which was painful and for which I thought I could take meds. I have loved getting high and the first taste of the buzz was all it took for me to be gone for 3 years during which I became quite a scumbag. My wife had known me during my "bad" times as well as the good.

You have to find a reason to get sober again. It was hard for me as no matter how much I wanted it and no matter how much I tried to quit on my own I just couldn't do it. I did have it well hidden though and it took my wife a bit of time to identify the problem but once she did the disappointment and the tears and the hurt in her eyes suddenly hit me like a sledgehammer. It turned me around because I couldn't do it to her anymore. That gave me the push I needed to find the reason to get my act together. I really wanted it for myself as I had grown to hate myself for what I was doing but somehow the extra impulse - maybe seeing what I was doing to someone else and not just myself - took me over the edge.

I am now at 9 months and going strong.

Find that something.

You might find it in just getting cleaned out and feeling better.

foodie1

Welcome to SR John, glad you're here

DJN

A long time ago I stopped drinking, soon after I said to myself, maybe if I drank something else I would be ok and able to drink socially and be able to function like a normal person the next day. So I went out and drank 10 double vodkas and felt worse than ever the following day. What happened was I made any excuse I could think of to drink, no matter how bizarre, it didn't matter, I wanted to drink and that excuse was all I needed.

The problem with any drug you are fond of is if you let your guard down when quitting, it will find a way to seduce or trick you back to doing it again. It will find your weakness. It's like a ex smoker, even years later they can be tempted to smoke just one, out of the blue, and before you know it they are on 20 a day. I know someone who didn't smoke for 10 years who went back on them when someone offered this person one at a party. They had no intention of ever smoking again, it just happened, when their guard was down.

You can never let your guard down if you were a addict in the past. Stamp out all those thoughts to have only one, or to return to your old ways as soon as they appear and go do something to occupy your mind, because if you entertain those thoughts they will just grow stronger and will get you to drink or smoke again. Maybe not today, but maybe in a month or a year or in 10 years, you must take control of these inner demons and crush them anytime they try tempt you back to destroying yourself with drink or drugs. Just remember why you quit, you must have had a damn good reason in the first place, your life was probably hell on earth, as long as you remember that, actually go back to how horrible your life was, feel all that again in your mind, relive it, then you rob these thoughts of their power. There is nothing to go back to only misery, you are on the right path when you try to improve your life, don't let them trick you back into a life of slavery.

And if you don't care enough about yourself to quit, then quit for your wife, she is only one of a handful of people in this world that truly care about you, do you really want to kill yourself with drink and leave this women alone in the world to deal with the fallout of your actions?. You will either end up dead from drinking, or alone with your drink, because she will not hang around pal, I've seen many drinkers lose their wives over drink and they never found anyone else again, just drank themselves into oblivion, stop now while you still have that women. Because going back on the drink means you literally could lose everything that you love.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR John x

CAPTAINZING2000

thanks for the reminder. I've got over 13 years sober. Were you attending meetings on a regular basis when, you decided to have a drink or, were you involved in AA ??