Three Years Sober Today and Grateful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Seattle!
Posts: 211
Aww guys, you made me so happy today. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your extreme-e-e-ly kind words! I know I have been busy and away from the forums, and I am not a very chatty person by nature, but just getting the response from everyone really helped me today. So thank you one and all!
It is SO meaningful to hear that my story can help inspire some folks on their path. There have been so, so many wonderful people on SR that have helped and inspired me; it is truly touching to know perhaps my own words, few and far between as they have been, three years in, might be able to offer some encouragement and inspiration to others. Thank you so much for the kind feedback!
The one thing I know now is that is is indeed possible to give up the drink for good. It's not always the easiest road to walk but, three years in, there's not a single instance where I think to myself "Gee, that situation would have been so much better if I had been drinking. Gee, the outcome of that situation would have just been so much greater if I just couldn't remember it at all..." Yeah RIGHT! I have NEVER had that thought. ;p
Really, thank you guys for the kind words. This really helped me today. I wish everyone a safe, sane and sober 2013!!
Here's to my fourth New Year's Eve with my trusty side kick... Cherry Coca Cola! ;-)
Thank you one and all!!!
Much love,
WichitaLineman
It is SO meaningful to hear that my story can help inspire some folks on their path. There have been so, so many wonderful people on SR that have helped and inspired me; it is truly touching to know perhaps my own words, few and far between as they have been, three years in, might be able to offer some encouragement and inspiration to others. Thank you so much for the kind feedback!
The one thing I know now is that is is indeed possible to give up the drink for good. It's not always the easiest road to walk but, three years in, there's not a single instance where I think to myself "Gee, that situation would have been so much better if I had been drinking. Gee, the outcome of that situation would have just been so much greater if I just couldn't remember it at all..." Yeah RIGHT! I have NEVER had that thought. ;p
Really, thank you guys for the kind words. This really helped me today. I wish everyone a safe, sane and sober 2013!!
Here's to my fourth New Year's Eve with my trusty side kick... Cherry Coca Cola! ;-)
Thank you one and all!!!
Much love,
WichitaLineman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Seattle!
Posts: 211
Hello Reborn,
I am really glad you asked that question. Thank you! I would be delighted to share my thoughts on the pros and cons after 3 years of sobriety.
Pros:
No more embarrassing myself with crazy behavior which manifests itself when drunk. I would get into places where I would lose situation awareness (i.e. I was drunk) and I never knew where that would take me. Sometimes I would be a great consoling friend; sometimes, I would be angry; sometimes, I would be extremely, extremely inappropriate in public. In these days on YouTube, Facebook, etc., I don't think it is a wise move to go absolutely crazy in public when just about everyone has a video camera on hand to capture your crazy moments. No more embarrassing outbursts is a total win/win for me. Not everyone had this issue, but I don't think I am overstepping my boundaries by suggesting that this affects everyone in some way. I am glad to have it no longer affect me in ANY way.
No more drunk dials. Or drunk texts. I damaged way too many relationships with the drunk dials. This is one of the most dishonorable behaviors I ever engaged in, and I loathe every single instance where I allowed myself to cut loose and let the verbal carnage fly. Of course, sometimes it was the "I love you man!" stuff. Usually, it was negative talk. One interesting side affect: Three years in, I will still catch myself thinking 'what did I do last night?', as a kind of self-check: did I call anyone? Did I make a hysterical rant inappropriately in public? Did I text ex-friends/ex-S.O. and go positive/negative with them? Then, I remember I haven't been drinking for what is now 3 years, and I relax. This line of questioning, this self-check, is a reflex I developed over the years of drinking, and this hasn't gone away. I am happy to report that now when I ask this question to myself, I can remember the last 3 years with extreme clarity, and I know nothing crazy happened. This self-check is a part of my personality, I am borderline hypervigilant, so your mileage may vary. Still, no more drunk dials = a much better life. Good lord, am I happy to report that the drunk dials have completely ended.
No more damaging my health with excessive alcohol consumption. Our bodies are a sensitive instrument, and the excessive and often reckless introduction of alcohol can wreck havoc on our delicate selves. I sleep better at night both by knowing that I am not damaging my body anymore, AND because I actually can get a decent night's sleep without metabolizing all that alcohol all night! Double win.
I have saved SO MUCH MONEY! In these fiscally black times, this one cannot be emphasized enough. Alcohol is not cheap, and in the last 3 years, I have been able to repurpose all that money I was spending into savings, retirement, and fun stuff that I like to do. 3 years later, this is one of the most tangible benefits on my balance sheet. I added up my alcohol expenditures the year before I quit drinking, and let me just say that I could have had several really nice vacations. Or a new car. Or… you name it. Financially, alcohol is a non-starter for me, and I couldn't be happier to be repurposing all that freaking money back into myself instead of making that golden parachute for the executives of Anheuser-Busch that much sweeter. Really, it is MUCH sweeter to give that money back to myself.
No more hangovers. 'Nuff said on that one!
Cons:
I lost my drinking buddies. It turns out we weren't the great friends I thought we were anyway. We just drank together and B.S.'d about whatever while we visited. I don't mourn the loss of these relationships. I have much more time and energy to invest in my actual friends. I'd say at least 50% of my day-to-day friendships were just drinking buddies. I got some calls after I stopped drinking, "where have you been", that sort of thing. Thankfully nothing negative, no one went to a bad place when I let them know I quit drinking. I was lucky in this regard, I know others have not had it nearly so easy. Now when I see my former drinking friends on the street from time to time, they look really haggard and tired to me. Probably how I looked to everyone else back in the day. We smile, say hello, and I carry on with my bad self and they carry on drinking with their bad selves. We are different people and in different places, and I am grateful we can still be cordial on the street and say hello. When Monday morning comes around and if I were to compare our two weekends, mine spent developing myself and my interests, and they with their drinking and inevitable hangovers, I would choose having my weekend over theirs.
It can be more difficult to make new friends if the prospective new friend(s) place a heavy emphasis/focus on alcohol in their life. Maybe this should be a sign I don't want to invest heavily in a person who is at this point in their life anyway. That is not to say that anyone who places that emphasis on inebriation is a bad person or in a bad place or anything like that, it's more to say that we don't share this specific interest in common and the opportunities for us to socialize and create a lasting friendship may be somewhat hindered. I have met some people over the last 3 years who are otherwise a really great person with a lot to offer, but when it comes to Friday evening, their only focus is on drinking and losing control. That is way less attractive to me these days. I acknowledge this perception is on my side and is something that I have to manage; no one made me quit drinking and everyone is different and has their own reasons to drink, their own levels of OK-ness with drinking, etc. This one can be a little tricky, depending on your personal situation. For myself, I have let a few opportunities pass me by because I didn't want to be around someone who would go to a place of heavy drinking, even semi-infrequently. It just doesn't work for me anymore.
In terms of just general socializing, there are no more 'easy outs' with going out to bars, etc. Alcohol gave me the context within which to socialize with other people. Since I don't go to bars anymore, I have had to rethink my approach to finding new friends and maintaining my existing friendships. I haven't missed going out to bars one single time, and I have gained a whole new appreciation of the various stuffy tea houses in town (yuk yuk!).
In sum:
Pros: Better health. Better finances. Better relationships, with both others and self.
Cons: The social dimension must be re-worked (at least for me, your mileage may vary).
This is a worthy trade off for me. ;-)
This is just my experience, everyone else has had their own pros and cons. Some people are more naturally social than others. I used alcohol as a context to create new relationships and maintain existing ones. I had to find a new way to relate to people and for myself, personally, that took work. Aside from the social element, I can think of very few downsides.
On the other hand, in terms of the pros, let me just say it this way: I can not think of another single decision that I have ever made in my entire life that had as huge of an impact in my life, as positive an impact in my life, and as _immediate_ of an impact in my life, than the decision to quite drinking.
Cunning, baffling, powerful? Huge, positive, immediate is my response!
I hope this helps in any way. If you'd like any further extrapolation on any of this, fire away! I would be delighted to go in depth on any of this, I tried to make this as brief as possible. Sorry for the somewhat lengthy reply. ;-)
Cheers!
WichitaLineman
I am really glad you asked that question. Thank you! I would be delighted to share my thoughts on the pros and cons after 3 years of sobriety.
Pros:
No more embarrassing myself with crazy behavior which manifests itself when drunk. I would get into places where I would lose situation awareness (i.e. I was drunk) and I never knew where that would take me. Sometimes I would be a great consoling friend; sometimes, I would be angry; sometimes, I would be extremely, extremely inappropriate in public. In these days on YouTube, Facebook, etc., I don't think it is a wise move to go absolutely crazy in public when just about everyone has a video camera on hand to capture your crazy moments. No more embarrassing outbursts is a total win/win for me. Not everyone had this issue, but I don't think I am overstepping my boundaries by suggesting that this affects everyone in some way. I am glad to have it no longer affect me in ANY way.
No more drunk dials. Or drunk texts. I damaged way too many relationships with the drunk dials. This is one of the most dishonorable behaviors I ever engaged in, and I loathe every single instance where I allowed myself to cut loose and let the verbal carnage fly. Of course, sometimes it was the "I love you man!" stuff. Usually, it was negative talk. One interesting side affect: Three years in, I will still catch myself thinking 'what did I do last night?', as a kind of self-check: did I call anyone? Did I make a hysterical rant inappropriately in public? Did I text ex-friends/ex-S.O. and go positive/negative with them? Then, I remember I haven't been drinking for what is now 3 years, and I relax. This line of questioning, this self-check, is a reflex I developed over the years of drinking, and this hasn't gone away. I am happy to report that now when I ask this question to myself, I can remember the last 3 years with extreme clarity, and I know nothing crazy happened. This self-check is a part of my personality, I am borderline hypervigilant, so your mileage may vary. Still, no more drunk dials = a much better life. Good lord, am I happy to report that the drunk dials have completely ended.
No more damaging my health with excessive alcohol consumption. Our bodies are a sensitive instrument, and the excessive and often reckless introduction of alcohol can wreck havoc on our delicate selves. I sleep better at night both by knowing that I am not damaging my body anymore, AND because I actually can get a decent night's sleep without metabolizing all that alcohol all night! Double win.
I have saved SO MUCH MONEY! In these fiscally black times, this one cannot be emphasized enough. Alcohol is not cheap, and in the last 3 years, I have been able to repurpose all that money I was spending into savings, retirement, and fun stuff that I like to do. 3 years later, this is one of the most tangible benefits on my balance sheet. I added up my alcohol expenditures the year before I quit drinking, and let me just say that I could have had several really nice vacations. Or a new car. Or… you name it. Financially, alcohol is a non-starter for me, and I couldn't be happier to be repurposing all that freaking money back into myself instead of making that golden parachute for the executives of Anheuser-Busch that much sweeter. Really, it is MUCH sweeter to give that money back to myself.
No more hangovers. 'Nuff said on that one!
Cons:
I lost my drinking buddies. It turns out we weren't the great friends I thought we were anyway. We just drank together and B.S.'d about whatever while we visited. I don't mourn the loss of these relationships. I have much more time and energy to invest in my actual friends. I'd say at least 50% of my day-to-day friendships were just drinking buddies. I got some calls after I stopped drinking, "where have you been", that sort of thing. Thankfully nothing negative, no one went to a bad place when I let them know I quit drinking. I was lucky in this regard, I know others have not had it nearly so easy. Now when I see my former drinking friends on the street from time to time, they look really haggard and tired to me. Probably how I looked to everyone else back in the day. We smile, say hello, and I carry on with my bad self and they carry on drinking with their bad selves. We are different people and in different places, and I am grateful we can still be cordial on the street and say hello. When Monday morning comes around and if I were to compare our two weekends, mine spent developing myself and my interests, and they with their drinking and inevitable hangovers, I would choose having my weekend over theirs.
It can be more difficult to make new friends if the prospective new friend(s) place a heavy emphasis/focus on alcohol in their life. Maybe this should be a sign I don't want to invest heavily in a person who is at this point in their life anyway. That is not to say that anyone who places that emphasis on inebriation is a bad person or in a bad place or anything like that, it's more to say that we don't share this specific interest in common and the opportunities for us to socialize and create a lasting friendship may be somewhat hindered. I have met some people over the last 3 years who are otherwise a really great person with a lot to offer, but when it comes to Friday evening, their only focus is on drinking and losing control. That is way less attractive to me these days. I acknowledge this perception is on my side and is something that I have to manage; no one made me quit drinking and everyone is different and has their own reasons to drink, their own levels of OK-ness with drinking, etc. This one can be a little tricky, depending on your personal situation. For myself, I have let a few opportunities pass me by because I didn't want to be around someone who would go to a place of heavy drinking, even semi-infrequently. It just doesn't work for me anymore.
In terms of just general socializing, there are no more 'easy outs' with going out to bars, etc. Alcohol gave me the context within which to socialize with other people. Since I don't go to bars anymore, I have had to rethink my approach to finding new friends and maintaining my existing friendships. I haven't missed going out to bars one single time, and I have gained a whole new appreciation of the various stuffy tea houses in town (yuk yuk!).
In sum:
Pros: Better health. Better finances. Better relationships, with both others and self.
Cons: The social dimension must be re-worked (at least for me, your mileage may vary).
This is a worthy trade off for me. ;-)
This is just my experience, everyone else has had their own pros and cons. Some people are more naturally social than others. I used alcohol as a context to create new relationships and maintain existing ones. I had to find a new way to relate to people and for myself, personally, that took work. Aside from the social element, I can think of very few downsides.
On the other hand, in terms of the pros, let me just say it this way: I can not think of another single decision that I have ever made in my entire life that had as huge of an impact in my life, as positive an impact in my life, and as _immediate_ of an impact in my life, than the decision to quite drinking.
Cunning, baffling, powerful? Huge, positive, immediate is my response!
I hope this helps in any way. If you'd like any further extrapolation on any of this, fire away! I would be delighted to go in depth on any of this, I tried to make this as brief as possible. Sorry for the somewhat lengthy reply. ;-)
Cheers!
WichitaLineman
Last edited by wichitalineman; 12-29-2012 at 12:32 PM. Reason: Grammatical error of the worst kind. ;p
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 9
Awesome response. I really appreciated that reply. I would actually like to know what you did specifically to re-work your social endeavors. As that seems to be my biggest problem. Though I'm in the early stages and haven't been pro active in my attempts do to heavy work and college load.
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