Why am I feeling this way?

Old 12-25-2012, 03:31 PM
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Why am I feeling this way?

Today was stressful enough, dealing with family and painful memories of last year. My mum had made a sherry trifle, which I skipped in favour of a box of chocolates. As she was passing around bowls of trifle, she said "you can each have a small glass of sherry on the side". My mind began to wander. I was thinking 'wouldn't it be lovely to be tucked up in my bed, in my warmest pajamas, all cozy, with my book, and sipping a glass of something". After everything I've been through, this is what I was thinking, for a few moments. After all the pain and suffering. I know that if I put a glass of wine to my lips, the new life I have carved out for myself would be in tatters. I never stopped at one bottle, never mind one glass. I am in bed now, watching The Big Bang Theory with a glass of milk. I'm confused now.
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Old 12-25-2012, 03:57 PM
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Hi Tetra. Glad you came here to talk about it.

I did the same thing for years. I knew I couldn't touch the stuff, but always fantasized that 'this time it'll be different' - I'd insist I would keep it to one. It was never one. Always the whole bottle. Then another bottle - then drinking the next day. It's so hard to learn to really know ourselves - to admit that willpower will never be enough. We can do it, though. I have almost 5 yrs. now. You can make it through, Tetra.
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Old 12-25-2012, 04:06 PM
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You got to your bed sober tetra,that is fantastic.I dont think it is at all unusual to have these thoughts,you didnt act on them,that is what matters.
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Old 12-25-2012, 04:07 PM
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Well I know the feeling. I am glad you choose not to drink I try and keep my mind of the thought of a drink and some days are better then others. Well I hope you have a merry Christmas.
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Old 12-25-2012, 04:09 PM
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I'm really glad you thought that through Tetra

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Old 12-25-2012, 04:16 PM
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Well done on getting rational on that thought Tetra x
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