Why am I feeling this way?
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Why am I feeling this way?
Today was stressful enough, dealing with family and painful memories of last year. My mum had made a sherry trifle, which I skipped in favour of a box of chocolates. As she was passing around bowls of trifle, she said "you can each have a small glass of sherry on the side". My mind began to wander. I was thinking 'wouldn't it be lovely to be tucked up in my bed, in my warmest pajamas, all cozy, with my book, and sipping a glass of something". After everything I've been through, this is what I was thinking, for a few moments. After all the pain and suffering. I know that if I put a glass of wine to my lips, the new life I have carved out for myself would be in tatters. I never stopped at one bottle, never mind one glass. I am in bed now, watching The Big Bang Theory with a glass of milk. I'm confused now.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
Hi Tetra. Glad you came here to talk about it.
I did the same thing for years. I knew I couldn't touch the stuff, but always fantasized that 'this time it'll be different' - I'd insist I would keep it to one. It was never one. Always the whole bottle. Then another bottle - then drinking the next day. It's so hard to learn to really know ourselves - to admit that willpower will never be enough. We can do it, though. I have almost 5 yrs. now. You can make it through, Tetra.
I did the same thing for years. I knew I couldn't touch the stuff, but always fantasized that 'this time it'll be different' - I'd insist I would keep it to one. It was never one. Always the whole bottle. Then another bottle - then drinking the next day. It's so hard to learn to really know ourselves - to admit that willpower will never be enough. We can do it, though. I have almost 5 yrs. now. You can make it through, Tetra.
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