Jaded1999

It's 5pm and although I have slept most of the day due to working last night... Family are here and a few I havn't seen in a while all say they are so proud of me blah blah... They shouldn't be proud really, I only quit drinking half of them don't even drink.

I'm 31 and during the last part of my marriage and after my divorce I went on a 3 and a half year bender really!! Including 6 detoxes and a rehab!

Anyway I'm sitting in my room atm and just feeling like i'm missing out, friends are going out tonight (I'll prob hit the gym lol). Just cant relax, getting those feelings that some drinks would be nice and trying to justify, that maybe I was drinking because I was depressed? I only lost everything I ever had Wife, house, cars, job. You would be depressed too wouldn't you?

5 months of sobriety and I completed my Cert IV in Personal Training and working full time in a gym. Deep down I know if I drank again I'd go down hill pretty quick.

I won't drink today, I think I might go to AA tonight and I think i've finished with my rant lol.

Merry Christmas!!

DeanChev

Thanks for your post. I'm glad your going to the gym instead of having a drink. I myself am a week sober today. 5 months is something to be proud of but shoot for a year then 2 then 5 you know.

vodkavictim1

Merry Christmas Shaun x
Well done getting so far, I'm only on day 13, It's going to be tough today, all family round, cooking for ten! 0% wine for the table today, at least I won't be plastered and grumpy this afternoon, like normal.
I'm looking forward to saying I've been sober for months, rather than days, you are doing great, keep it up

paul99

Accept their well wishes on your quitting. It may not seem like such a big deal for you, but for them, and what you may have put them through, it's a BIG thing for them. It might possibly be their best gift this holiday season.

Losing things and people is for many of us part of the pain, which inevitably brings us to our knees for help. Just because we get sober doesn't mean that we get all those things back. We may get some back, we get them all, we may get none back. Regardless, we are in a different place, and if we are in a program of recovery, doing the work that is needed, we gain a wealth that can't be measured by worldly goods and such. For me, it was being able to just be, and not feel like I was crawling out of my own skin that was a great achievement for me. So sitting in your room, not drinking, thinking of going to an AA meeting - well, that's a positive thing. Getting outside of myself helps too - helping someone else out (like who is new to sobriety) is possibly the best way I have to stop the wheels from spinning in my head.

congrats on the 5 months! You are already accomplishing things that are important to you. Imagine what else you can do?

Caldus

ShaunEm,

You are feeling what AA calls it "restless, irritable, and discontented". AA may be just the answer for you in order to stay sober and learn to live life a fundamentally different way that will lift this obsession for alcohol you have. You can be content with yourself and not have that constant nagging feeling for a drink if you start working the AA program.

You have experienced firsthand what happens when you go back out each time. If you do the same thing, the same things happen, right? What are you doing for your recovery this time around? Do you want higher quality sobriety?

Merry x-mas to you and good luck either way. I will pray and meditate today for all of those out there who are suffering or alone on this day.