Higherwisdom

I thought I ws going to quit drinking today, yesterday and the days before that. Got a few days off from work, thought I would take this time to sober up but I haven't done that. You start thinking "1 more day of getting ****** up then I have to stop tomorrow. Funny because that's the same conversation I have with myself almost everyday lately. Been passing out, waking up very late, feeling like **** yet I keep doing it. The holidays don't help that's for sure. When will I wake up?

Dee74

Hi nonalcho

I know that cycle very very well.
Reaching out for help and making different choices really changed the game for me.

I don't know what your Xmas plans are but Xmas is a great time for renewal.

It may sound trite? but having been there I know it's really not...
You never have to feel this way again, if you don't want to.

reach out

D

Fernaceman

Took me a conscious decision to stop. I realized things weren't goin to get better on their own and that, for me, complete abstinence was required to allow myself and my life to heal. This ain't easy, that's for sure. More people would do it if so. Sobriety isn't for people who need or necessarily want it. I wanted it for a long time, but didn't want to do anything to work for it. I wanted a magic want or cure. Recovery is for people who take action and DO it.

So you will wake up when you decide to take action. Are you ready to do that?

Higherwisdom

Hi Dee74 and Fernaceman. Deep down I don't want to feel this way again. It's gotten to the point where I'm too messed up and lazy to go to the store to get more but I will take that trip tonight one more time, it's always one more time that's the problem. I have not taken action, I have not tried hard or put a sincere effort into abstaining. I have only spoken about it.

I feel I am ready to take action very soon and I hope my next post will be stating that I have gone at least 1 day without doing this to myself.

Hevyn

Hi nonalcho. It's great to have you with us.

When I first joined SR I knew something had to change. I felt like you do - I was fed up with myself. Drinking wasn't really fun anymore, just a habit I was afraid to break. After reading on here for a while, and finally posting - I found the courage to give it up. I feel so free now - and you can, too. It sounds like you're getting ready. A whole new life can be yours.

Fernaceman

If you are already messe up I would advise against goin out for more...bad things can happen. Why not just go to bed?

paul99

I had 25 years of "one more day then..."

Thingel

Waking up saying, Not tonight, going to bed early. but then again end up drinking it's a cycle.

Honestly the only thing that ever made me quit drinking was when i fell in love with this girl and i wanted to be in better shape, i lost weight fast, not drinking, felt fit. Then she went behind my back and got another guy and i just started drinking, 2x as much

Higherwisdom

paul99 I'm going to remember that line. I don't think I can make it 25 more years if I keep doing this.

Thingel. I was in a relationship where I told my partner that we should slow down the party rock lifestyle but she didn't want any part of it. She also went behind my back towards the end of the relationship and went with another guy, oh yeah, it was most likely that thug guy that robbed my house after the fact. But anyways, these people are of no importance.

Maybe a girl can change your outlook and that's great that it did for some time but a girl is not the answer to fix our alcoholism. We are the answer.
I think somewhere we have the power, more power than anyone else can have over us.

karldavid

My new day is the 1st.

topspin

I have confidence you will take action soon !

For just one day; focus on not taking that first drink. You won't have to worry about whether or not you'll be drinking tomorrow.

...or all the bad stuff that could eventually happen.

I had to treat day 2 just like day 1. Focused on avoiding that first drink; ...no matter what.

...and how grateful I may feel to be free of all the madness.

That little light at the end of the tunnel started off like the head of a needle, but became bigger and brighter with every passing day.

You can do this !

Dee74

welcome back Karl David
why wait to start a great new chapter of your life ?

You could start today?

D

sunrise1

I did 3+ years of "just one more night", hating myself and feeling like crap the next day, then doing it all over again night after night, week after week.

No matter what path you choose, sobriety involves ACTION. Thoughts are not enough. You have to want a better way more than you want that drink that you are about to raise to your lips.

I particularly like AA because I really don't have to worry about anything beyond today. I know I can stay sober today. It's most likely that tomorrow I will wake up and know that again. But my ACTION involves today, and as long as I take action I break the cycle of tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

stepping

That's the obsession and the insanity of an alcoholic.

I know it all too well.

I hope you decide to give not drinking a try nonalco.

hamabi

That you believe that soon you will try to stop is great. You believe you have that power inside to fix this alcoholism problem for yourself, and will demonstrate you have that by stopping completely at some point and staying stopped from that point forward.

That will begin a very good new direction for you.

Will it happen today or are you doing this tomorrow, which as the little orphan girl said is only a day away?

Only you can answer your question regarding when you will wake up, if ever. When do you believe that you will wake up? You know by now there are really only two answers to your question, and that only one answer has a chance of working out well. There is hope only in today. Getting sober tomorrow holds no hope at all, as your experience has proven.

RaleighGirl

You do have the power. I have the power. And it is really hard at 1st, but it does get better, trust me. The people here do lend so much support without judgement and even if you regress, they still will support you with advice. It is hard because who wants to talk about this with friends and family? We are all here for you and rooting you on, you can make it! I believe in you!

ZombieAttack

You know the best thing to do is to quit right now, and stop all this one-more-day nonsense.

But, and very much speaking from experience, I know it is not easy to do, and the force of alcohol is pulling you the other way hard.

You have our full support, seriously. Please just do it.