AudreyAna

Well, I hit a new low today. I drank mouthwash. I feel like a freak. That was always one thing I told myself I'd never do, and I did it! Disgusting.

I just got out of treatment, what the heck is wrong with me?

coraltint

you're an alcoholic.....we do stupid sh*t like that. hopefully you have no doubt that you qualify now!! that would be good, because once that's established .... there is a way out.

keep comin' around, maybe go check out a meeting near you.

Ghostly

Sorry you are going through this. I don't think anything is wrong with you. You need to find what it is that is bothering you, or what is missing, and deal with it. I know its not easy. I know you can do the right thing. You must have gotten resources from your treatment? Use them. Reach out and find a support network.

Good luck.

Dee74

Hi again AudreyAna
there were a lot of things I promised myself I'd never do - eventually I did them.

Use this as a wake up call - whatever you're doing for your recovery right now maybe you need a bit of a booster shot?

Is there any kind of aftercare from the facility you were in?

D

Tetra

I haven't drunk mouthwash, but I have drunk cough syrup. You are not the only one. You CAN get through this too

Adillac

AudreyAna- I tried to find mouthwash to drink when I was detoxing two months ago, but doggonit the treatment center store only sold the non-alcoholic kind! You are not alone, my dear.

neferkamichael

AudreyAna, drinkin mouthwash ain't as low as it can go, believe me I know. Perhaps it's time to give it up. Merry Christmas.

hamabi

I made sure mom always had Listerine on her shopping list. The really big bottle.

If it shows you where you're at with alcohol then I'm happy for you. But, if it's one more thing that momentarily shocks you because you were sure you'd never sink so low, and then the drinking continues it matters no more than the other shocks you had already and the shocks yet to come.

Hope this shock causes you to do what you haven't thought you needed to do to this point.

2granddaughters

When I got out of rehab I went straight to AA and began my recovery. Rehab was just the beginning.

I got a sponsor and a Home Group, without it I was a goner. Get with the AA oldtimers and ask them to help save your life.

You are no different than I am.

All the best.

Bob R

paul99

You're not alone. I bunked with a guy in treatment who drank Purell (the hand sanitizer). I also did things I never thought I would do. It didn't take me long to realize that I am no different from the guy on the street slugging back Aqua Velva...and if I had gone on any longer, I probably would have been that guy. Don't beat yourself up over this. You see where you're at, and so at least you are aware of what's going on.

Like has been asked, is there any aftercare or resources from your treatment center? I know I went back to mine many times just to talk or to go to alumni meetings or to find out stuff when I was in my early recovery - it was invaluable. I was in aftercare too.

Regardless, hope this kickstarts a program of recovery for you.

MsJax

Hi audreyana. It is so powerful I know . I did so many things I never thought I would do, so thankful it is over now. What is your after-care program? Is it meetings? One on one or group counseling? Reading? Writing? Get your tail where you know you are supposed to be and you can be sober when the new year comes.

Wastinglife

Hi Audrey,
I have drank mouthwash too. My drinking had become so uncontrollable, I ended up moving back to my parents' house to sober up. I had no access to booze there and I was going through withdrawal so I drank a whole large bottle of mouthwash over a 2 day period to ease the withdrawal symptoms. I felt so pathetic. It even turned my urine green. It's baffling how this disease makes us do things like drink poison...

Kevah

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I see a lot of good advice in this thread, though. Keep reading. Most, if not all of us have done things that just blew our minds on the insanity of it. You definately are not alone here! What are your plans for continuted recovery now that you are out of treatment?

Nineteen67

AudreyAna, i have drank denatured alcohol before, knowing that it could kill me but needing the "effect"

i really don't know what to say as i didn't listen to anyone, you have to decide for yourself you are going to stop. All the best to you.

tomsteve

"I just got out of treatment, what the heck is wrong with me?"

i cant say for certain this is wrong with you, but myself and many others did it because we are alcoholics. it is what we do when we dont put int he footwork to change.

Fernaceman

Well if you're like me, I was just a sick individual with no defense against the first drink. I drank mouthwash, too. I remember watching myself in the mirror as I did it, thinking exactly what you were.

Good news is you never have to do that again if you choose not to. You can choose sobriety and get involved. When it became clear to me that I had a conscious choice whether to do anything about it or not, it became a lot easier with time.

Elisabeth888

I am in the former mouth wash drinker camp too. I also drank almond extract.

I have almost 90 days now and my life is so much better. Yours can be too.

T1234

A friend of mine has drank mouthwash many times. Also has drank... or ate.... hand sanitizer. I always told myself I'd never get as bad as he is. And, I was right. No where near that madness but it showed me where things can go if one keeps up.

He now lives in a lodge with other folks who have 'been to treatment more than 4 times'

Good luck.

jennikate

Been there, done that. The good news is that you can recover from it and never have to do it again. My recovery has been like a miracle that I never thought would come true.

AudreyAna

Thanks for all the support guys, I really appreciate it... I'm really scaring myself with this. I drank vanilla extract also last night, after mouthwash. I felt disgusting. Why do I do this to myself??? My hands are shaking a ton, so it's very hard to type... I think its a side effect of my meds.