I Finally Lost It All
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
I Finally Lost It All
This is my first post to this or any other addiction forum, so please forgive me if I do not have a clear understanding of the rules here.
The title says it all: my drinking has cost everything dear to me, except the love and support of my family which I may not deserve but am extremely grateful for. I am 31 years old and my problems with alcohol began in college with a citation for underage drinking and culminated recently with an arrest for disorderly conduct and assault after a shoving match at home with my fiance while blackout drunk. Please note that I am not a violent person, in fact one of my issues is that I am extremely non-confrontational and prefer to bury my head in a bottle than create conflict. She simply could not live with my drinking any more and resorted to calling the police as her last attempt to help me get well. I spent a week in county jail (first time ever) before finally being bonded out by my extremely distressed family. I am now under a no-contact protective order of the court, lost the love of my life of 8 years, and am facing some real jail time.
So how did I get here? Like most, I enjoyed partying in college and alcohol was the social lubricant of choice. From the beginning I almost always drank more than most and the problems began. I got busted drinking underage at a party, I had two fairly serious alcohol related car accidents (but was able to avoid arrest for DUI), and lost what was a great paying job for a college student.
Despite all of this, I graduated with honors and landed a good job at a bank. I met a great girl soon after starting to work there. I performed well at work and was promoted several times over the next five years until I was managing my own branch. I thought I was still in control of my drinking, but when I chose to drink it was too much.
Then my major triggering event happened. Two months after starting my new and exciting job as a bank manager in 2008, a few of my male employees planned a happy hour and invited me. Boy how I wish now that I had said no. On the way home from that happy hour I blacked out, was involved in a very minor collision, and was stopped for DUI. When I received my charges there was a felony charge included with the DUI. Banks do not employ felons. I began to panic about what was going to happen with my job and employ-ability after the resolution of my case. I poured much of my savings into a lawyer and he proceeded to stretch my case out over the next 2.5 years to get the felony dropped. The overwhelming anxiety and insomnia that resulted because of the pending charges sent me straight to the bottle. It became an addiction quickly, yet I was in denial.
The alcohol use began to consume me and my work suffered. I was only drinking at night, but was drinking straight liquor and in large quantities. After a year and a half my performance had declined enough that my boss demoted me to a position I hated. The drinking got worse. I tried to move to other jobs with no success. The drinking got worse. Tardiness and calling in sick became the norm. Six months later in late 2010 I had to quit working for that company after 7 years to preempt getting fired.
This is where the real problems with my fiance (girlfriend at the time) began. She realized I had a problem and did her best to get in the way of my drinking. My DUI case finally resolved and the felony was dismissed but I received 2 years of probation with a year of jail time hanging over my head. I became bitter, drank more, and was doing a pathetic job of trying to find new employment. When things got too hot between us, I tended to disappear for a few days - to a friend's, a motel, etc. - to drink in peace. It was taking over. I came home from one of these binges to find new locks on the house and all of my stuff packed and boxed in the garage. Somehow I talked my way out of that one, promising not to drink. But I just started hiding it. Bottles in the garage, hidden in closets, etc.
It didn't take long for her to figure out what was going on. The fights over drinking continued. She so desperately wanted to get married but she knew my drinking was preventing that as I couldn't get a job. She works for a large national company and has an excellent job. She started looking into getting promoted to positions in other states to put some distance between us. I resented this, but used my ability to manipulate her to move out of state together with promises of therapy, rehab, etc. We moved 1 year ago, away from family and friends, out of state, and totally reliant on each other for everything.
I was lucky to find a new job at a bank within a month of moving as a result of her connections. Things started to look up. I was feeling much better about myself. I was drinking less, but I still couldn't quit. Rehab seemed out of the question because I couldn't take so much time off of work. I tried to manage it, but no dice. The fights became more frequent, my drinking got worse. I finally crossed the line and began needing a drink or two in the morning to make it to work. Work suffered again, and I fell into a worse pattern than before.
After one particularly nasty argument this May, she walked out and stayed with a friend she had met in Al-Anon for a few weeks. This shocked me to reality. I couldn't live in denial mode anymore. I finally accepted that I had a problem and sought out AA. I made it to several meetings but didn't feel like they helped. I somehow made it through the withdrawals and had arranged my schedule to keep me busy and away from alcohol. I felt great and stopped having constant cravings. I thought I had kicked the monkey off my back, but in its wake were residual problems at work and at home.
By August I finally felt like we could move forward with our relationship. I proposed and miraculously she accepted, thinking the drinking was over. We were doing great, traveling around exploring our new area of the country, and having probably the best times we had in the last 4 years.
Then I lost my job. I had been on placed on warning due to attendance during my drinking phase. I had corrected the problem but then in late October I missed a day of work. They were looking for a reason to let me go, and I handed it to them on a silver platter. My finance and I were both devastated. On the way home from work that day it took all of my strength to not stop at the liquor store but I made it.
I made it another 6 weeks. I applied to what must have been 30 jobs with no success, no interviews, no nothing. Then I made my fatal mistake. I figured I had gone 5 months without drinking and I could handle it just once. I just wanted the anxiety and feelings of worthlessness to go away. I got drunk, really drunk. My fiance came home and confronted me. We argued, she left, I drank more. Apparently she came back later to confront me again and that is when the police were called. I have zero recollection of the evening until I was in handcuffs.
I spent the weekend in a town jail cell by myself and the following week after my initial court appearance in county jail in a dormitory setting with about 60 criminals facing charges from possessing guns and selling crack to DUI and violations of probation. I was scared ********. I do not belong in jail; this is not what my life was supposed to become. I was supposed to be successful; now I am a failure. Because of the vast distance between me and my friends/family at home, it was very difficult to get bailed out. My father ultimately had to fly out and post bond. Due to the no-contact order of the court, he had to pack all of my belongings, load a U-Haul truck, and make the drive halfway across the country to get me home. We arrived two days ago. I have since learned that my ex-fiance has totally removed me from her life after 8 long roller coaster years. How does this happen? Two months ago we were happy and planning a wedding, now she has told others she will never speak to me again.
The judge realized that the core of the problem was my drinking. She ordered me to complete an alcohol assessment and treatment as well as anger management before my next court date in March. I stumbled upon this forum during my search for those resources. My only hope is to complete those programs successfully to get lenience in my sentence (I don’t know where the money will come from), but either way more jail time is a real possibility.
Right now I am an emotional wreck. I have always had problems expressing my feelings openly in person to others, so I hope I can get some benefit from the community here. I have literally lost it all and I should have seen it coming. I guess I don't really know what I am looking for with this post, other than to get this off of my chest. At this point I feel like my life is over. Is it possible to come back from all of this? To once again lead a normal life after lost jobs, gaps in employment, arrests, and time in jail? Has anyone been where I am? Thank you for reading.
The title says it all: my drinking has cost everything dear to me, except the love and support of my family which I may not deserve but am extremely grateful for. I am 31 years old and my problems with alcohol began in college with a citation for underage drinking and culminated recently with an arrest for disorderly conduct and assault after a shoving match at home with my fiance while blackout drunk. Please note that I am not a violent person, in fact one of my issues is that I am extremely non-confrontational and prefer to bury my head in a bottle than create conflict. She simply could not live with my drinking any more and resorted to calling the police as her last attempt to help me get well. I spent a week in county jail (first time ever) before finally being bonded out by my extremely distressed family. I am now under a no-contact protective order of the court, lost the love of my life of 8 years, and am facing some real jail time.
So how did I get here? Like most, I enjoyed partying in college and alcohol was the social lubricant of choice. From the beginning I almost always drank more than most and the problems began. I got busted drinking underage at a party, I had two fairly serious alcohol related car accidents (but was able to avoid arrest for DUI), and lost what was a great paying job for a college student.
Despite all of this, I graduated with honors and landed a good job at a bank. I met a great girl soon after starting to work there. I performed well at work and was promoted several times over the next five years until I was managing my own branch. I thought I was still in control of my drinking, but when I chose to drink it was too much.
Then my major triggering event happened. Two months after starting my new and exciting job as a bank manager in 2008, a few of my male employees planned a happy hour and invited me. Boy how I wish now that I had said no. On the way home from that happy hour I blacked out, was involved in a very minor collision, and was stopped for DUI. When I received my charges there was a felony charge included with the DUI. Banks do not employ felons. I began to panic about what was going to happen with my job and employ-ability after the resolution of my case. I poured much of my savings into a lawyer and he proceeded to stretch my case out over the next 2.5 years to get the felony dropped. The overwhelming anxiety and insomnia that resulted because of the pending charges sent me straight to the bottle. It became an addiction quickly, yet I was in denial.
The alcohol use began to consume me and my work suffered. I was only drinking at night, but was drinking straight liquor and in large quantities. After a year and a half my performance had declined enough that my boss demoted me to a position I hated. The drinking got worse. I tried to move to other jobs with no success. The drinking got worse. Tardiness and calling in sick became the norm. Six months later in late 2010 I had to quit working for that company after 7 years to preempt getting fired.
This is where the real problems with my fiance (girlfriend at the time) began. She realized I had a problem and did her best to get in the way of my drinking. My DUI case finally resolved and the felony was dismissed but I received 2 years of probation with a year of jail time hanging over my head. I became bitter, drank more, and was doing a pathetic job of trying to find new employment. When things got too hot between us, I tended to disappear for a few days - to a friend's, a motel, etc. - to drink in peace. It was taking over. I came home from one of these binges to find new locks on the house and all of my stuff packed and boxed in the garage. Somehow I talked my way out of that one, promising not to drink. But I just started hiding it. Bottles in the garage, hidden in closets, etc.
It didn't take long for her to figure out what was going on. The fights over drinking continued. She so desperately wanted to get married but she knew my drinking was preventing that as I couldn't get a job. She works for a large national company and has an excellent job. She started looking into getting promoted to positions in other states to put some distance between us. I resented this, but used my ability to manipulate her to move out of state together with promises of therapy, rehab, etc. We moved 1 year ago, away from family and friends, out of state, and totally reliant on each other for everything.
I was lucky to find a new job at a bank within a month of moving as a result of her connections. Things started to look up. I was feeling much better about myself. I was drinking less, but I still couldn't quit. Rehab seemed out of the question because I couldn't take so much time off of work. I tried to manage it, but no dice. The fights became more frequent, my drinking got worse. I finally crossed the line and began needing a drink or two in the morning to make it to work. Work suffered again, and I fell into a worse pattern than before.
After one particularly nasty argument this May, she walked out and stayed with a friend she had met in Al-Anon for a few weeks. This shocked me to reality. I couldn't live in denial mode anymore. I finally accepted that I had a problem and sought out AA. I made it to several meetings but didn't feel like they helped. I somehow made it through the withdrawals and had arranged my schedule to keep me busy and away from alcohol. I felt great and stopped having constant cravings. I thought I had kicked the monkey off my back, but in its wake were residual problems at work and at home.
By August I finally felt like we could move forward with our relationship. I proposed and miraculously she accepted, thinking the drinking was over. We were doing great, traveling around exploring our new area of the country, and having probably the best times we had in the last 4 years.
Then I lost my job. I had been on placed on warning due to attendance during my drinking phase. I had corrected the problem but then in late October I missed a day of work. They were looking for a reason to let me go, and I handed it to them on a silver platter. My finance and I were both devastated. On the way home from work that day it took all of my strength to not stop at the liquor store but I made it.
I made it another 6 weeks. I applied to what must have been 30 jobs with no success, no interviews, no nothing. Then I made my fatal mistake. I figured I had gone 5 months without drinking and I could handle it just once. I just wanted the anxiety and feelings of worthlessness to go away. I got drunk, really drunk. My fiance came home and confronted me. We argued, she left, I drank more. Apparently she came back later to confront me again and that is when the police were called. I have zero recollection of the evening until I was in handcuffs.
I spent the weekend in a town jail cell by myself and the following week after my initial court appearance in county jail in a dormitory setting with about 60 criminals facing charges from possessing guns and selling crack to DUI and violations of probation. I was scared ********. I do not belong in jail; this is not what my life was supposed to become. I was supposed to be successful; now I am a failure. Because of the vast distance between me and my friends/family at home, it was very difficult to get bailed out. My father ultimately had to fly out and post bond. Due to the no-contact order of the court, he had to pack all of my belongings, load a U-Haul truck, and make the drive halfway across the country to get me home. We arrived two days ago. I have since learned that my ex-fiance has totally removed me from her life after 8 long roller coaster years. How does this happen? Two months ago we were happy and planning a wedding, now she has told others she will never speak to me again.
The judge realized that the core of the problem was my drinking. She ordered me to complete an alcohol assessment and treatment as well as anger management before my next court date in March. I stumbled upon this forum during my search for those resources. My only hope is to complete those programs successfully to get lenience in my sentence (I don’t know where the money will come from), but either way more jail time is a real possibility.
Right now I am an emotional wreck. I have always had problems expressing my feelings openly in person to others, so I hope I can get some benefit from the community here. I have literally lost it all and I should have seen it coming. I guess I don't really know what I am looking for with this post, other than to get this off of my chest. At this point I feel like my life is over. Is it possible to come back from all of this? To once again lead a normal life after lost jobs, gaps in employment, arrests, and time in jail? Has anyone been where I am? Thank you for reading.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Welcome to SR, Charlie. You will find a lot of support here. Most of us have been where you currently find ourselves, in one way or another. Some have even lost more than you have lost.
Yes, you can come back from this. Many of us have done so and you can, too. I hope you will stick around and read, read, read, and post often. We're here to support you.
Yes, you can come back from this. Many of us have done so and you can, too. I hope you will stick around and read, read, read, and post often. We're here to support you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I want to welcome you too, Charlie.
Your story is mine and the story of so many others here on SR. Not in the details, but the slow advance of alcohol in our lives and the ruin it leaves behind.
Yes, you can gain some semblance of a normal life, but only if you stay sober, take your legal lumps, and move on through life with a grateful heart. Grateful that you are no longer a slave to booze.
Your story is mine and the story of so many others here on SR. Not in the details, but the slow advance of alcohol in our lives and the ruin it leaves behind.
Yes, you can gain some semblance of a normal life, but only if you stay sober, take your legal lumps, and move on through life with a grateful heart. Grateful that you are no longer a slave to booze.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
Welcome. I'm sorry for all you have been through--but it seems you are like most of us in that alcohol can no longer be an option for you. Now that you know that (for certain), you can begin to find peace, healing and yes, normalcy again.
Please stick around and continue to post.
Please stick around and continue to post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
I was moved by your post. Thank you so much for taking time to share with us as honestly as possible. The good news is that help and support is available. And it starts right here on these boards. Do please read and see if there are things you can relate to and help you in your quest for recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
You have found an excellent resource here, Charlie! But I do recommend going to AA and doing what they call 90 in 90...90 meetings in 90 days. Get a sponsor, work the steps. It works if you commit to it! They say go to 6 meetings before you decide if you don't want to come back! Get a Big Blue Book (The Alcoholics Anonymous book) and a 12 steps and 12 traditions book. This road for us alcoholics is never ending and we choose what path to take, all of us taking different roads but ultimately going to the same destination....sobriety. You are in my prayers and I wish the best for you! Good luck, YOU CAN DO IT!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Hello Charlie--I feel your pain. I had to quit my job 2 years ago because of "my problem"...I didn't drink everyday, but when I drank..I DRANK! Had a good job, but as a result of my 3rd DUI, I knew I was facing severe consequences...Jail time & 10 years loss of license. I did rehab because I never could quit for a long period of time on my own. I hit the AA's meetings daily, like someone previously stated...90 meetings 90 days...got a sponsor & worked the Steps. I went to jail at the end of my rehab (90 days in County) and came out okay. AA & the help of others (and my Higher Power) got me through it. My life isn't what I planned, but I do have job, am paying my bills and most importantly, I'm still sober after 21 months. You don't have to do it alone. Try & hit some AA meetings and listen, hang with the winners...and try it out. It's working for me..One Day at a Time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Hi Charlie,
Believe it or not you have hit bottom at an age where you can begin again in a heartbeat. If you and your lost love are meant to be you will find your way back to each other.
Life may have some wonderful surprises for you. All is not lost, your young and will be able to mend your broken life. We all have our horror stories, some worst than others.
You are simply going to have to find someone or something you love more than drinking and get sober. I sincerely hope that someone is you. Self loathing is what keeps us trapped in a bottle, Self love will allow you to climb out.
I truly believe when you first begin to look toward sobriety you need some one on one time with an addiction counselor--you need to be able to tell your story and take as long as you need. AA is a way to keep check on yourself, perhaps find a sponser. The real work will come from within yourself.
We are alcoholics not because LIFE has screwed us over, but because we are part of a special group who through genetics (and no fault of our own) is allergic to alcohol. We do not process it the same way the non-alcoholic does, therefore from the moment you take your first drink you have set genetics into motion. The rest is out of your hands as long as you continue to allow alcohol into your body. Have you ever been able to have just one drink and be satisfied???? No....and we alcoholics have an unlimited tolerance of alcohol--5 drinks for us is like one to someone else.
My opinion only---Work first with your doctor and then a addiction counselor. They will know the path your specific life needs to take. Stay connected here. We will never judge you---after all we're drunks ! Who are we to judge.
Good luck on your journey,
Trix
Believe it or not you have hit bottom at an age where you can begin again in a heartbeat. If you and your lost love are meant to be you will find your way back to each other.
Life may have some wonderful surprises for you. All is not lost, your young and will be able to mend your broken life. We all have our horror stories, some worst than others.
You are simply going to have to find someone or something you love more than drinking and get sober. I sincerely hope that someone is you. Self loathing is what keeps us trapped in a bottle, Self love will allow you to climb out.
I truly believe when you first begin to look toward sobriety you need some one on one time with an addiction counselor--you need to be able to tell your story and take as long as you need. AA is a way to keep check on yourself, perhaps find a sponser. The real work will come from within yourself.
We are alcoholics not because LIFE has screwed us over, but because we are part of a special group who through genetics (and no fault of our own) is allergic to alcohol. We do not process it the same way the non-alcoholic does, therefore from the moment you take your first drink you have set genetics into motion. The rest is out of your hands as long as you continue to allow alcohol into your body. Have you ever been able to have just one drink and be satisfied???? No....and we alcoholics have an unlimited tolerance of alcohol--5 drinks for us is like one to someone else.
My opinion only---Work first with your doctor and then a addiction counselor. They will know the path your specific life needs to take. Stay connected here. We will never judge you---after all we're drunks ! Who are we to judge.
Good luck on your journey,
Trix
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
I was a senior manager myself until alcohol got the better of me. Slowly I lost the position and feel further and further. I've not lost my partner or my liberty and I'm grateful I've finally stopped.
First thing I did after reading your tale was check your age. Your 31, you can restart. Get help, because you are not able to do it yourself the evidence shows. Also make damn sure you are doing it for you and make sure you realise that add really bad add it's got, it could get worse... but if you stop, if could get a lot better. You were once really determined and fired up and you once got a great lass to agree to marry you. You can have it all again. Just don't **** it up. You don't get many second chances in life.
First thing I did after reading your tale was check your age. Your 31, you can restart. Get help, because you are not able to do it yourself the evidence shows. Also make damn sure you are doing it for you and make sure you realise that add really bad add it's got, it could get worse... but if you stop, if could get a lot better. You were once really determined and fired up and you once got a great lass to agree to marry you. You can have it all again. Just don't **** it up. You don't get many second chances in life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement. It's very tough to see any light at the end of this tunnel I'm in right now, and your thoughts have at least given me some hope.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Just by being so honest in your introduction, I feel there is a lot of hope for you, Charlie. You can begin again. Take it step by step. Do all you can to reclaim your life. Things will fall into place. I really feel that you can do this.
Thanks for sharing your story. Best to you.
Thanks for sharing your story. Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 165
Hey CN, there's many people have been through this - and come out the other side. It takes a lot of hard work, and a lot of determination... and for me it took some very good support. But you can do it, even if it feels impossible right now.
Thank you for being strong enough to share your story. The path is in front of you...
Thank you for being strong enough to share your story. The path is in front of you...
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Your story is a classic tale of the progression of alcoholism. Your story is my story in terms of how I ended up in places I never saw myself ending up in, doing things that I never saw myself doing and losing things I never thought I would lose. I remember at the end of my drinking career, seeing the damage my drinking had caused not only to me but to others, and wondering "how the hell did I get here?".
See, here's the thing - even when I was at what I thought was my lowest point...I drank again. That is the progression of the illness. It's the "it's going to be different this time" voice that enslaves us. It's the obsession of the mind. It never gets better, it always gets worse.
So the question you might want to ask yourself is : are you done?
Are you done for good and all?
If so, then you may want to get into a program of recovery. You cannot do this on your own. For me, it was AA. I too had to take care of legal issues, family reconciliation, financial amends, etc. There is work involved. But even a cursory look around SR and you can see all the success stories. Your story hasn't ended yet. Why not make it a positive ending?
Thanks for sharing. And remember, if you want to quit, it has to be for you and you alone. Not for the courts, not for work, not for the love of your life. You.
All the best
See, here's the thing - even when I was at what I thought was my lowest point...I drank again. That is the progression of the illness. It's the "it's going to be different this time" voice that enslaves us. It's the obsession of the mind. It never gets better, it always gets worse.
So the question you might want to ask yourself is : are you done?
Are you done for good and all?
If so, then you may want to get into a program of recovery. You cannot do this on your own. For me, it was AA. I too had to take care of legal issues, family reconciliation, financial amends, etc. There is work involved. But even a cursory look around SR and you can see all the success stories. Your story hasn't ended yet. Why not make it a positive ending?
Thanks for sharing. And remember, if you want to quit, it has to be for you and you alone. Not for the courts, not for work, not for the love of your life. You.
All the best
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by CharlieNoogan 
Thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement. It's very tough to see any light at the end of this tunnel I'm in right now, and your thoughts have at least given me some hope.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Hi Charlie,
Thank you so much for posting your story. I relate to so much of it!
Im not so good with the words but we have a lot of similarities.
I wish you the best and hope you stick around here.
Everything thats happened so far can be the beginning of the end, or the beginning of the beginning. Just like my story too.
Lets make it the right choice this time.
Thank you so much for posting your story. I relate to so much of it!
Im not so good with the words but we have a lot of similarities.
I wish you the best and hope you stick around here.
Everything thats happened so far can be the beginning of the end, or the beginning of the beginning. Just like my story too.
Lets make it the right choice this time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by CharlieNoogan
Thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement. It's very tough to see any light at the end of this tunnel I'm in right now, and your thoughts have at least given me some hope.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
@MythicalUtopia: Thanks for the advice about AA, I will look into it again. I actually attended about 6 closed step/traditions meetings this last June. The group I met with was just starting the 12 weeks of traditions so I got through about half of those. I just didn't feel like the topics were addressing my need to drink at the time. It was more like the traditions were about the survival of AA - not the alcoholic. When I was called on to share I didn't have any relevant perspective and I am not one to open up that way with strangers to begin with.
AA has worked for so many , so once you get through the first couple of month of sobriety, you might want to give it another try.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 79
I'm 31 and my story is so similar it's uncanny except I got married and that only lasted 18 months lol (we were together for 9 years). I lost my house my job and had to move back to my parents and my drinking got insanely crazy!!! I'm only 5 months sober (I've done rehab and detoxes) AA has treated me well so far and is the only thing that seems to work for me. In these 5 months I'm back studying and back working but I still want to 'drink and party' everyday!! It's summer here and I live close to the beach (bbq's and beer here in oz).
Hang in there mate, just take it a day at a time. Things WILL get better
Hang in there mate, just take it a day at a time. Things WILL get better
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