PhoenixJ

Just read all these sad. sad posts. My prayers- for what was and unfortunately probably will be again.

NYCDoglvr

A tragedy I'm glad you shared. My sobriety is precious and it helps me remember not to take it for granted. God bless him.

Steely

What a terrible law. I am so sorry.

Bethany57

I am not sure where this was but why would someone even have a license after the 2nd DUI? Or was he driving without one? Regardless - tragic all the way around.

ScottFromWI

It's worth pointing out that the original post is over 4 years old, and laws may have changed since.

Having said that, I live in Wisconsin which has one of the most LaX DUI laws in the entire USA. It's not uncommon at all to hear about people getting 3rd, 4th, 5th DUI's around here.

Centered3

No one can truly understand the mental illness that is alcoholism until they experience it themselves.

We cannot make a blanket statement that this was about "ignoring solutions". It could be fear that keeps one from taking a step toward a solution. Or it could be the mind telling you that you can do it on your own. Shame, too, could be another reason why someone does not try a solution out.

Depression and anxiety is a double edged sword; we want a solution from it, but the depression and anxiety in and of itself keep us from being able to go toward the solution. Maybe we think we'll fail at it. Maybe we just can't muster up the energy/drive to try something different, even if we know it'll help us and we want desperately to be out of this pain.

Please don't judge an illness you do not fully understand.

I recently heard a circuit speaker I listen to a lot, mention the name of a young man who just died from our disease so the listeners could pray for him and remember him. He said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "God brought him home because he was in just too much pain."

May Billy be finally at peace now from his pain.

Centered3

"He" probably didn't. But his "disease"/ego probably told him there was no other option or way out. (Any Eckhart Tolle fans reading this will understand what I mean..."I can't live with myself anymore"--Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now", talking about when he was suicidal).

Gottalife

Good point. I Weill rembered the total despair that went with the unintended consequences of drinking. I have a vivid memory of landing face first in a cell, devastated that what was supposed to have been an evening of conviviality had ended in such a disastrous way yet again.

Getting in to trouble with the law was the furthest thing from my mind when I took the fatal first drink. The frustration and despair was brought on by a conscience that told me I was gravely in the wrong, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't do the right thing. It was becoming hopeless. I can completely understand how, being unable to see a way out, this man decided to end it all.

I had another friend, still alive as far as I know. He had five duis, blackouts, broken marriages, and none of it ever bothered him. He still drinks and drives, never thinks of the consequences. In his own words he doesn't care what happens. Quite a different outlook.

It could almost be said that Bill was a good man but sick, while my friend was a bad man, also sick.

Centered3

Thanks for sharing your experience, Mike. The cunning, baffling part of our disease is real.

I think a lot of non alcoholics don't understand this. It's hard for us to see the insanity that precedes the first drink when we aren't in recovery yet. Then we beat ourselves up because we know what we're doing is wrong, we don't want to do it again, but we cannot stop. It leads us all to feeling hopeless which could lead to being suicidal.

That's a good point. This is the type we rarely see in recovery.

Thank you so much for posting this distinction. You explained it beautifully.