missylou

I have tried & tried to get long term sobriety for about 20 yrs now. The most 5 months. I basically drink 2 bottles of wine a night. I have been to several rehabs in/out patient, numerous types of meetings around town, I do have great resources in my town. Now I seem to be in a cycle of stopping drinking for 1-3 weeks, then start up again! I retired/buyout last Feb & felt great at first, then time went on & doing housework or spending time with the grandkids or cooking or shopping just don't do it for me anymore. Everything is so mundane now. I know I am depressed & drinking is now part of everyday life. In the morning if I have left over wine, or mostly around 3pm & put ice in my wine so it will last until night time. And, yes I have all sorts of health issues too. I started seeing a therapist but not sure about her yet. Don't want to fix my hair, nails, makeup. Just watch TV, DVR, laptop & drink.

Thepatman

Not drinking would improve most likelly your depression, health, money, relationships.

4 for 1 sounds like a good deal ;-)
Glad you are posting!

Dee74

Have you discussed your depression with your counsellor or a Dr missy?

what about doing some volunteering work?
It's something else to do with your day, it's a reason to get and take care of yourself....you get out of the house...and you get to help others too...

D

Sasha4

You say that shopping, kids, housework has become mundane.

I think I would find that mundane too if that was all I had.

I remember being made redundant.
At first not working sounded great, but soon I tired of shopping, lounging around the house and going for lunch or coffee. I felt unproductive.

You mention that you don't work now. Do you think your missing your working routine?

At one point in my life, I did not even have what you have mentioned and my drinking took off.

Do you feel useful?
Is there something that you could do to make you feel more useful?

I have suffered/still suffer from depression.
I found it hard to motivate myself. Some days getting dressed was hard.
Booze made the depression easier to ignore, but only in the short term. Once the fuzziness had worn off, I felt worse and even more useless.

I hope you keep coming here and posting. I hope you keep seeing your therapist too and give it a chance.

missylou

Thepatman=I wish I could think in those simple terms. But, you are right, the drink needs to be the first thing to go.
Dee74=Thanks, yes the counselor already told me I am seriously depressed. I have only seen her once, I do have Prozac but when I drink I don't take it. I know I am going in circles, why don't I just do what I need to do.
Sasha4=Thanks so much, you get me! I have always been depressed & I need to accept that & get help for it. I think I kind of lost my purpose, but useful was a good way to put it also.

gravity

Take your meds. Listen to your counsellor. Don't drink.

I know, I know...it's really tough.

I'm on a mild anti-depressant and had a great counsellor. I haven't had a drink in almost 5 years.

Once the depression and anxiety lifts, even hanging out with this kids is a great pleasure. Life becomes enjoyable, something to be grateful for. Good luck!

Caldus

I felt like there was no life beyond alcohol. I would do very similar things -- sit at my desk, browse the Internet, watch movies/TV shows, and drink. I just didn't think there was anything else for me out there. Today, I have a lot more hope that there is life after alcohol.

I found AA, a sponsor, and a home group. I haven't picked up a drink since then. You say you were sober for 5 months at one point. What was your recovery program then?