littlemuffin

Hi everyone,

I've just found this site because I know I have a drink problem, and I want to quit drinking completely, but I'm just too weak willed. I have a fairly stressful job and I work long hours so when I get home in the evening I often find that I "need" a drink in order to unwind, then one turns into two... you know the story. Thing is, I can't shake that feeling in the evening of needing a drink.

I've tried giving up before, but I keep giving in, and I know it's just because I'm just weak willed. I hate myself when I'm drunk, and even more so the morning after, but even that doesn't seem to be enough to make me give up. I could really do with some advice from people who've been there.

MycoolFitz

Well welcome and hope you find your path

bnstphnsn

I would start by finding a replacement for the post work drink. Get a meal in you and a chocolate shake or something else you really enjoy. Doesn't matter how fattening it is, we can fix that later when we get you sobered up :P Unwind with a short run and a shower? You're in a rut. Work, come home, drink, go to bed, wake up disappointed in yourself, work, come home, drink... etc. You have to change up your routine. If nothing changes, nothing changes!

Dee74

Hi littlemuffin

I'm not sure it's weak will...my wills pretty strong...I was just scared of losing my long time buddy alcohol.

You'll hear from a lot of people here who felt exactly like you do tho...similar job stresses, similar fears.....'similar need'

but they put down the bottle, found support to stay sober, and never looked back
You can do it too - you've found a great place for support

Welcome!
D

Jeni26

Welcome to SR.

I was exactly like you 6 months ago. I have a stressful job, work long hours and generally find it hard to let go of work issues when I'm at home. I generally hit the wine as soon as I walked through the door and told myself I deserved it after a difficult day. My problem was that it never was just a glass, it was a bottle. With maybe a couple of shots of vodka on top.
I'm not sure when I realised that it was a problem because my denial was very strong, but before I knew it I was drinking heavily every night, barely functioning at work, blackout drunk at the weekends.
I stopped by coming onto this website and asking for help and by going to AA for face to face support.
It is possible, I'm doing it. And it is the best move I've made in my life.
Good luck to you. Keep us posted x

Zube

Hey Littlemuffin-

I know of a program that will let you turn your weak will over to the care of God.

It makes sobriety so much easier when your not trippin' over your will all day.
Alcoholics Anonymous :

Check it out for the next 90 days. If your not happier at the end of 90 days, I will personally refund you misery.

And, Welcome!
Zube

hypochondriac

You are not weak willed Littlemuffin!! I hate that assumption that someone is weak because they have an alcohol problem. It is addiction, pure and simple, and it can effect anyone.

I was just like you, and I really didn't know how to stop. In a way it was the hardest thing I have ever done, giving up drinking, but in others it has been the easiest. It is such a relief to stop fighting it and accept that I don't have to drink anymore.

There is a lot of information and support here. Maybe check out some of the recovery methods and see if any resonate with you. Read the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous, or Rational Recovery (AVRT), SMART recovery or Allen Carr's Easyway to stop drinking.

Glad you're here x

audra

Problems do not make you weak. In fact, it takes a strong person to admit problems. You'll figure out a way to sort through this problem if you want it bad enough.

AA meetings every evening for 90 days might help.

And I like the suggestion of drinking chocolate shakes - yum!!!

Dts

Welcome!!!!

Only one thing to say other than take all the advise above.

Believe in yourself!!!!!!

You can do anything you truly apply yourself too. There are many ways as mentioned, to destress and let go other than drinking or drugging.
I was where you are, but now I'm sober and loving life!

Boleo

Have you tried 12 Step recovery? It is based on something that is the complete opposite from willpower. That is the concept of surrender.

"We must suffer to get well.
We must surrender to win.
We must give it away to keep it."
(The Professor and the Paradox - AA BB 2nd Edition)

Fernaceman

I think what a lot of others said is true. I have a pretty damn strong will, too. So strong in fact, that I would put that will forth with all I could to be able to continue drinking/using as I pleased. Consequences were a direct result of me forcing my will upon situations.

littlemuffin

Thanks for the replies and the welcome, they've really hit the nail on the head - I do have a problem, I am stuck in a rut and I need to sort myself out and change my ways.

I've spent a lot of today reading posts on this forum and I think today is the first day of a new sober beginning (well, I hope it is)

2granddaughters

Welcome muffin:

Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if you can identify.

All the best.

Bob R

Xune

I have a very strong will and can be quite stubborn.

Instead of imposing my will on alcohol, I surrendered and gave booze the victory over me.

You can't will away an addiction... but you can surrender.

I didn't beat my addiction with a strong will. I'm still an addict, only now I'm in recovery

Instead of fighting booze, I've given up the fight and stepped outside the ring.

I surrendered and stopped fighting.

You understand?

bnstphnsn

This. If this doesn't make sense to you, say so and we will try to clarify it. This is, in my opinion, sobriety in a nutshell.

We are all extremely strong willed, otherwise we wouldn't have let our addictions beaten the **** out of us for so long before we gave up. I compare it to fighting a punching bag, no matter how hard you punch and kick and scream at the punching bag, it will still be there. The only way to truly beat the punching bag is to realize the futility of your efforts and accept that you will never beat it. You can either keep trying and stay miserable, or give up and move past it. The punching bag and your addiction willl be there forever, they are not going away. Your choice to keep punching or drinking though, is in your control.