kellai81

I've only posted on here a few times, and wanted to do a quick intro of myself. I hope it's ok that I post this here.
I've been in and out of the rooms for a few years now. I got arrested about 4 1/2 years ago on alcohol related charges. This was the beginning of my journey of recovery.
I was mandated to an outpatient program and I didn't stay sober at all while attending. But the seed had been planted. I didn't go to any meetings or anything, just heard about them in my once a week program. A few months after I started I came to one day and looked around and my surroundings were appalling. I had known I had a problem for quite some time, but didn't want to deal with it I guess. But that morning as I looked around I decided I was going to try rehab. I told my friend whose house I was at and all she said was "good idea". After my first stint in rehab I was "sober" for around 100 days. I liked the rehab and all, but I just wasn't ready.
I went back out and on March first of 2011 I went to another rehab. I was still dealing with court stuff (I kept screwing up) so I decided to go back so I didn't go to jail. They recommended I go to longterm treatment so I went to a halfway house after that. I LOVED THAT PLACE! I fell deeply in love with recovery. I left the house on Dec 22 of 2012 and moved back home, even though I didn't want to.
I stayed sober and celebrated my year. Then a few months later I went back out. Big mistake. Now i've been struggling to stay sober since. My new sober date is Nov 5th. The day I found out I was pregnant. I've been going to as many meetings as possible again. But I work nights so it's a little tough to go as often as I would like. I have a great support system. They knew something was wrong when I started showing up less and less. But I couldn't tell on myself right away. I was so ashamed. But now that I've done it I feel better. I really want to get back into it like I was before. I'm grateful I found this website since I can't get to meetings everyday.
I just refuse to raise a child in an alcoholic home. I grew up that way and it was terrible. I'm hoping to make some new friends here and add some more support in my life. I want my boyfriend to get this with me. As he had over 2 years of sobriety when he went back out. I told him I can't do this anymore. The drinking soon as I wake up just to feel ok. Drinking at work. Drinking to go anywhere and do anything. Feeling like crap day in and day out. He says he's going to do this with me. I really hope he is sincere. Or he's going to have to go. I know I can't force him. Sorry this was longer than I had planned.

Gottalife

Welcome Kellai,

your story is similar to mine, a seed was planted several years before I went to AA and recovered. What I have found is that most of the work of getting sober is done away from the meetings. I never took a step, except maybe the first, at a meeting.

I have also found real alocholics don't recover just at meetings. It's the steps that lead us to our higher power which in turn brings about recovery. So, while you can't get to as many meetings as you would like, you can still get on with the steps and recover.

There was a saying, "Put AA First in your life" or something along those lines. What it really means is not that you should spend every living moment at a meeting, but that you should practice AA principles in all areas of your life, and that's about forgetting self and doing the right thing by those around you, workmates, family, friends, and especially your child. It's a way of living that works, even in rough going, not a daily therapy session. I wish you all the best.

oak

Welcome, I hope you find what you need here.