Finding a Sponsor
 

Hi been attending and sober now for almost 9 months. Initially got myself a sponsor but our paths hardly ever cross these days and we never actually started the program.


There is a woman who is my sponsors, sponsor whom I can speak freely with.
I havven't spoken with my sponsor in months. Is it okay to ask someone else?
I don't want to hurt her feelings as I never really gave our relationship a real go.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I need more than just staying sober.

I'm in pretty much the exact situation as you Cale so I'd be interested in any advice people have too. The lady I initially asked doesn't have time and there's a distinct lack of women where I am so I feel like all I can do is just keep going to meetings and hope someone appropriate to ask turns up.

Maybe if you speak to your initial sponsor that would make things smoother for you. I doubt she'd be offended. If you haven't got anywhere in 3 months maybe it's just not right. Or maybe she's waiting for you to initiate something?

You don't mention why you and your sponsor don't speak or see each other, but it sounds it may have something to do with her schedule or something? Regardless, I don't see why you can't ask someone else to be your sponsor. 9 months and haven't worked the steps is pretty long. I don't see how you can hurt the feelings of someone you have no contact and/or relationship with. Jump in, get someone else. And if your "sponsor" gets upset, well, then she wasn't great sponsor material in the first place. Sponsors are there to work you through the steps, first and foremost - it's not a marriage. Sponsors know that the day will come when one of their sponsees may change to someone else. And that is fine - our paths change and grow, and we may need someone else to take us to another level. Never hard feelings.

Go for it, get a sponsor who is willing to take you through the steps right away. And then tell your old one that you are moving on and thank you and see you at the meetings.

I agree with Paul, 9 months is a long time to go without working the steps. You really need to get a sponsor to take you through them and show you how to have a spiritual experience. Step one is to identify the problem, step two, identifies the solution step three a decision to apply the solution - follow the directions of a sponsor, but step four is the first action step. Without action there can be no recovery, we remain powerless and the obsession will return one day.

Thank you all for your advice and just the kick up the backside I need to get working on the steps.

Hopefully this lady will accept and I think she will.

My origianl sponsor only does one meeting a week and I work the evening of this meeting. We did try and hook up twice but she cancelled then I cancelled and since then nothing.

Thank again.