FreddyBear

Ok, you all know who the drinking buddy is. He is not a friend. You don't wish well for him, and he doesn't with well for you, that's for sure, I know this now.

Why I'm writing this. I have recalled one evening, some time ago. This buddy of mine, who I thought to be my friend, sent me a text. I was drinking alone this evening. To make me feel better about that, I sent him a reply: "I'm enjoying some beers, and watching a good old movie". His reply was: "That's very bad of you. Home party while drinking alone is so pathetic.". And this was a man with whom we drank a lot together, did some crazy things, and I seriously considered him to be my best friend.

And now, when I recall all these episodes, I found out that he always tried to put me down. He is also an alcoholic, but when I drank alone without him, he also called, or texted me with humiliating messages how bad I were, and he was watching a movie in a great company, sober, and with pepsi in his arms. I also texted him back with an feeble attempt to raise myself: "I'm here at home, with my old ex-gf, drinking together and enjoying a great movie". But it was a great LIE! I was drinking all alone, and just wanted my hurt ego back.

To sum it all up... I was a liar, and lied even to my drinking buddy about whom I don't give a f*ck now. That shows what is the real worth of so-called friends when you become sober, and how pathetic I was when lying even this miserable b@st@rd.

BruceJ

One of my favorite lines from the BB goes something like:
"...once in awhile, he may tell the truth"....

IMHO...as alcoholics/addicts we are, in fact, ..... wait for it .... wait for it ...... LIARS.

We have to lie, especially to ourselves. To be totally honest with our inner selves, while self-destructing, isn't something our brains can handle....so we must try to convince ourselves otherwise. Maybe this is one reason it's so hard for many of us to truly recover. We have spent so much time and mental energy convincing our inner selves of untruths.....our inner selves are confused when we present it with the real truth.

Just my opinion...

All the best.

paul99

It didn't take me long to realize that my (very few) drinking buddies weren't buddies, they were drinking partners. Once the drinking stopped, there was no common bond. I barely knew anything about my drinking partner, even though we started out as high school friends...emotionally we were barren, and had a shallow friendship at best. As long as the booze flowed, we were ok. Actually, we weren't. Like your experience, we belittled each other, always trying to feel better about ourselves by bashing the other. I was the biggest culprit. But we did everything to keep the facade that things were groovy with us.

I have found friends in recovery that I have true, deep relationships with. I went to see an AA friend on spur of the moment last night and we had a chat for 20 minutes that would have been impossible in my active years. I wasn't capable. What holds together these friendships is honesty.

Yup, we're good liars. But I no longer need that coping mechanism any more.

Good post!