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I am new here and for the same reason everyone else is


I am new here and for the same reason everyone else is

Old 11-19-2012, 08:55 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: hamilton ontario
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Question I am new here and for the same reason everyone else is

I am new here and for the same reason everyone else is and I am sure we all have very much the same stories.

Please let me share mine and I am open to any help!

I am 30 years old, male and I never touched alcohol until 4 years ago when i was 26. Although I was not an alcoholic before 26 I can't say I havn't struggled with addictions before. My first taste was anti anxiety medications even back as a teenager althought I didnt stay on them very long the addiction mentality was there.

As I type this today I am beginning to accept that the root of the pain and guilt that fuels my addictions may have begun from childhood during a time my much older brother began sexually abusing me.

What seemed to bring on this realization was a fight we had(it was over the internet because he lives 1000 miles away) He lives in Arizona hiding behind extremely religious beliefs with his wife and 4 children. During the entire election he blasted very hatred right wing tea party beliefs all over the place and all I could think about was how big of a hypocrate he was on so many issues. I was so damaged over it I fell into a 2 day binge after not bingeing for almost 5 months.

My feelings of shame, guilt, being not good enough can all start from this early abuse. I have trouble in all my personal relationships. How have many of you began to cope coming from simular situations?
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:57 PM
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Location: Atlanta
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((Balthier)) - Welcome to SR! Though I don't have a similar background, I'm quite sure many here do.

Hugs and prayers,

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Old 11-20-2012, 03:05 AM
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Location: New Zealand
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Welcome Balthier and thank you for your post. I am on this forum as a member of AA (not writing on behalf of AA), a fellowship concerned soley with the treatment of alcoholism by spiritual means.

I see from your post that you have what we would call "outside issues", some very serious ones, about which neither I nor any other AA member would be qualified to help you with. I would strongly suggest you get some professional help from experts in the field of sexual abuse.

If you still feel you may be alcoholic, perhaps you could attend some open AA meetings and see of you identify, or just spend some time talking to an AA member one to one.

There are many AA members who have had shocking experiences in their childhoods and others like me, who had wonderful childhoods. The common factor with us is the disease of alcoholism, we all have it, it's genetic, and we caught the genetic bullet. The dreadful things that happened to some of us certainly aggravated our alcoholism, but it didn't cause it.
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Old 11-20-2012, 03:19 AM
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Location: Australia
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Hi Balthier

I'm sorry for what happened to you.

I think a lot of us start using alcohol as some kind of self medication - unfortunately it's never very good at blotting out the pain, or the memories - at least not for very long...some of us find we use alcohol for so long we end up with an alcoholism problem independent of what ever the underlying reasons were that started us off on our drinking journey.

I found I had to deal with both my underlying reasons and my resulting alcoholism to recover.

like GottaLife said there are better ways to deal with past trauma...although my circumstances were different, counselling really helped me and I can only recommend you look into getting some professional help like that.

As far as drinking goes, though you'll find a lot of help and support in stopping drinking here

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Old 11-20-2012, 09:54 AM
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Location: hamilton ontario
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Thank you

Thank you for the replies. It definatly makes sense that the alcoholism is a genetic problem and the abuse just aggrevated it. I am open to dealing with my outside issues at the same time accepting i am in alcoholic.

Its comforting to know people of many different lifestyles have overcome problem drinking. I havn't been using for a long time but in that time I've used a lot and my body isn't tolerating it anymore. Although my binges are months apart now I don't want anymore
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:14 PM
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I might have a genetic predisposition to alchoholism, with half a dozen family members within a generation with alcohol issues. We all have us have found our way to sobriety though.

We all start off with what we start off with, but every day after that is up to us. It is your call every time you pick up that drink - is this the last one? Your last drink can really become your last drink ever. Are you ready to make that plan about continuing to use alcohol?
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:57 AM
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I come from a family with some history of alcohol abuse so the genetic predisposition is probably there. Like you I also suffered childhood sexual abuse. I guess I just came to terms with it years ago and sort of freed myself of the shame. When it happened I was like six so I had no power at all. Now I do.

Drinking is the same for me. For years I realized the day would come when I would have to stop drinking, but it never seemed like the right time to do it. It was dumb luck that I stumbled upon the resources I needed to quit at just the time I realized that I had to.

SR is great! Lots of good people here that not only care but actually understand the battle we face trying to get right. Welcome!
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Old 11-21-2012, 04:30 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Japan
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I come from a family where I (as far as I know!) am the only alcoholic.

I have been isolated from them all for many, many years though, so the people who influenced me were not them. I wonder if I had stayed with them, I would be any different.

We can't change what we have done though, eh, so no point in worrying about that.

I wish everyone all the strength in the world to get through this, and as others have already said, I am very happy and grateful to find a community like this.
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Old 11-24-2012, 04:22 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Hamilton, Ontario
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hey man im from hammer too and was sober 6mos before i thought i could drink "normally" again and for the last 8 months have been still lying to myself. If u need someone to talk to shoot me a msg as im in hammer too. good luck.
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Old 11-24-2012, 05:09 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: England, Warwickshire
Posts: 33
I defo have a genetic link, my brother died as an alcoholic at just 33, what i saw him go through still wasnt enough to stop my self detructive behaviour and i could not understand why i just could not stop. then i have recently decovered, my dad who i havent seen for 28years and lives the other side of the world to me has a drink problem. and my great grand parents and other family members were drinkers. so i defo beleive in the genetic link as far as im concerned.

My mum makes me laugh though, she is so critical of my drinking, shes never had a drink problem and chooses (yes chooses) not to drink. She suprised me with a vist the other day which wasnt a good time because it was the day after a heavy session, i quickly hid the evidence but accidently left a wine glass on the side, she said "you on the pop again", to which i denied because could not put up with the earache. but what makes me laugh as this is a women who smokes 40 roll ups a day and is dieing of a lung related illness. say no more
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Old 11-24-2012, 05:10 PM
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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There is no statute of limitations regarding historical sex crimes in Canada and the law.

You have legal recourse should you need to go that route.

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