Does it start like this/do I need to be concerned?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
Does it start like this/do I need to be concerned?
Hi,
I definitely drink well more than what is considered normal and have shown what I think are a few signs of a potential future issue, but I also think there's a decent chance it's just youthful partying and not a big deal. I don't know. Alcoholism is obviously an important enough problem that I don't want to just ignore it until it does get bad, so I figured I'd ask. Does anyone have any idea if the below sounds like the start to a real problem, or is it pretty clear by this point if you're in over your head?
Anyway, I'm in my mid-20's. I work in a high-stress environment, drinking is a pervasive part of the culture and I pretty fully indulge.
That being said, here are the highlights and lowlights of my drinking -
- I've had more than a few mornings waking up and realizing I've said or done things I regret. I've been fortunate that it's never been anything long-term or serious (no legal problems or anything). We've all been there, even casual drinkers.
- Blackouts, vomiting, phantom injuries.... actually have gotten a little more common for me, unfortunately.
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical reason I should stop (work tomorrow doesn't always cut it, not that anyone at the office cares) it's pretty much guaranteed at least 2am, multiple bars, shots, girls, drunkass karaoke, the whole 9 yards.
-I drink more than basically everyone I know (outside work), both in per-night volume and times out per week. At this age most of my friends are slowing down, I'm not sure if it's just because of my chosen career or what but I'm basically still in college mentally.
On the more positive side -
- I never, ever drink alone. Just doesn't seem like fun. I occasionally have one drink with dinner, but that's about it. If it's not a social thing, I don't do it.
- I can go a long time without having a drink. About a year ago I was job hunting, couldn't afford to go out and stuff, and went close to two months having maybe one or two beers the whole time, with no problems like withdrawal or anything. This past month I was sick with the flu and barely drank, didn't bother me at all. I think this just means I'm not chemically addicted, which is nice, but I know there are other levels of alcoholism.
- I had a physical not too long ago, and was honest with the doctor about my drinking. He ordered the full liver and whatever test, and it came back perfectly healthy. Clearly I'm not doing any physical damage, yet.
Anyway, my big question is whether this just sounds like Peter Pan syndrome or if you all have experience with this type of behavior turning into a real, debilitating problem. If I stay at this level I'm fine, but if there's a fair chance it turns into something worse then I absolutely need to keep a close eye on it.
Thanks for reading, sorry it's not more interesting, I'm sure you get this one a lot.
I definitely drink well more than what is considered normal and have shown what I think are a few signs of a potential future issue, but I also think there's a decent chance it's just youthful partying and not a big deal. I don't know. Alcoholism is obviously an important enough problem that I don't want to just ignore it until it does get bad, so I figured I'd ask. Does anyone have any idea if the below sounds like the start to a real problem, or is it pretty clear by this point if you're in over your head?
Anyway, I'm in my mid-20's. I work in a high-stress environment, drinking is a pervasive part of the culture and I pretty fully indulge.
That being said, here are the highlights and lowlights of my drinking -
- I've had more than a few mornings waking up and realizing I've said or done things I regret. I've been fortunate that it's never been anything long-term or serious (no legal problems or anything). We've all been there, even casual drinkers.
- Blackouts, vomiting, phantom injuries.... actually have gotten a little more common for me, unfortunately.
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical reason I should stop (work tomorrow doesn't always cut it, not that anyone at the office cares) it's pretty much guaranteed at least 2am, multiple bars, shots, girls, drunkass karaoke, the whole 9 yards.
-I drink more than basically everyone I know (outside work), both in per-night volume and times out per week. At this age most of my friends are slowing down, I'm not sure if it's just because of my chosen career or what but I'm basically still in college mentally.
On the more positive side -
- I never, ever drink alone. Just doesn't seem like fun. I occasionally have one drink with dinner, but that's about it. If it's not a social thing, I don't do it.
- I can go a long time without having a drink. About a year ago I was job hunting, couldn't afford to go out and stuff, and went close to two months having maybe one or two beers the whole time, with no problems like withdrawal or anything. This past month I was sick with the flu and barely drank, didn't bother me at all. I think this just means I'm not chemically addicted, which is nice, but I know there are other levels of alcoholism.
- I had a physical not too long ago, and was honest with the doctor about my drinking. He ordered the full liver and whatever test, and it came back perfectly healthy. Clearly I'm not doing any physical damage, yet.
Anyway, my big question is whether this just sounds like Peter Pan syndrome or if you all have experience with this type of behavior turning into a real, debilitating problem. If I stay at this level I'm fine, but if there's a fair chance it turns into something worse then I absolutely need to keep a close eye on it.
Thanks for reading, sorry it's not more interesting, I'm sure you get this one a lot.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((RandomDude)) - Welcome to SR! Though we can't tell you whether you're an alcoholic, or not, the drinking is enough to bring you here and I think you'll get a lot of ES&H (experience, strength and hope) from people here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi RandomDude
The more important thing is whether you think it's a problem I think..and seeing as you're here I'm guessing you do.
Your negative points are all red flags for sure.
I can even take issue with one or two of your positive points too.
The fact you never drink alone just means you never drink alone.
I got into just as much trouble and I was doing as much damage when I was in my 'drinking with friends' years as I did in my 'drinking alone' phase....
As for not drinking regularly...I started as a binge drinker...ended up an all day everyday guy.
I don't really think one is any better than the other destruction wise, either, I'm afraid.
The good news is you're young, you're healthy and you're thinking about this now - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome to SR
D
The more important thing is whether you think it's a problem I think..and seeing as you're here I'm guessing you do.
Your negative points are all red flags for sure.
I can even take issue with one or two of your positive points too.
The fact you never drink alone just means you never drink alone.
I got into just as much trouble and I was doing as much damage when I was in my 'drinking with friends' years as I did in my 'drinking alone' phase....
As for not drinking regularly...I started as a binge drinker...ended up an all day everyday guy.
I don't really think one is any better than the other destruction wise, either, I'm afraid.
The good news is you're young, you're healthy and you're thinking about this now - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome to SR
D
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by RandomDude 
Hi,
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
As Instant says, a dodgy off switch is not such a good sign. The doctors opinion in the AA Big Book calls this the phenomenon of craving. Once alcohol is in the system it sets off a craving so powerful it is beyond the ability of the alcoholic to control it. This phenomenon never occurs in the average drinker. It is further described as the manifestation of an allergy, the alcoholic's body processes alcohol differently to others, and this type can never safely use alcohol in any quanity at all. You may yet be a potential alcoholic, and the safest course would be to stop altogether.
Of course it could also be the manifestation of a phase that many of my friends passed through and subsequently grew out of. My alcoholic mind would have latched right on to this idea as the preferable explanation because it would mean I could continue to drink.
Of course it could also be the manifestation of a phase that many of my friends passed through and subsequently grew out of. My alcoholic mind would have latched right on to this idea as the preferable explanation because it would mean I could continue to drink.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
It's nice that you've been lucky so far. Your drinking (to excess, even by your own words) haven't yet landed you in the hospital or jail. The chances of your luck staying with you if you keep drinking, are pretty slim.
It's sort of like saying "well, I'll keep running across the street at red lights until I get hit by a bus, then I'll stop" well, yeah, then you won't have any choice, because after getting hit by a truck, you won't be running much of anywhere.
Getting and staying sober requires some effort, but most of us have found that doing it now, making the choice ourselves, is preferrable to the consequences of letting things progress.
In the end, it's about what we want for our lives. Drinking, or everything else that we will probably lose if we keep drinking.
It's sort of like saying "well, I'll keep running across the street at red lights until I get hit by a bus, then I'll stop" well, yeah, then you won't have any choice, because after getting hit by a truck, you won't be running much of anywhere.
Getting and staying sober requires some effort, but most of us have found that doing it now, making the choice ourselves, is preferrable to the consequences of letting things progress.
In the end, it's about what we want for our lives. Drinking, or everything else that we will probably lose if we keep drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
[QUOTE=RandomDude;3679209]Hi,
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical reason I should stop (work tomorrow doesn't always cut it, not that anyone at the office cares) it's pretty much guaranteed at least 2am, multiple bars, shots, girls, drunkass karaoke, the whole 9 yards.
Are you sure no-one cares at the office?
I thought that at the start, that everyone drunk as much as I did.
Not true. Most of the time I was in blackout mode, so how would I have known what everyone was drinking?
Years later I am still trying to live down the reputation I built for myself.
I went to work functions and did not drink. I was amazed that most people had two to three drinks but made them last all night.
No-one drank like me.
Soon my behaviour when drunk caused me anxiety.
This was both drunken behaviour at work and in my personal life.
Drinking was the only way to forget what I had done and the way I had acted.
That's when it turned into an every night habit.
But drinking never solves anxiety, it only creates more, so it was a never ending story of unhappiness, anxiety and worry.
Take it from one who found out the hard way.
Work + drink + girls + wild nights out = no successful career.
You are obviously not happy about your drinking, despite what you believe work thinks.
So why not stay here, read a bit, think things through and see how you feel.
I wish you the best.
- If I have 5 drinks, I'm having 15 drinks. Once I pass that point unless there is some critical reason I should stop (work tomorrow doesn't always cut it, not that anyone at the office cares) it's pretty much guaranteed at least 2am, multiple bars, shots, girls, drunkass karaoke, the whole 9 yards.
Are you sure no-one cares at the office?
I thought that at the start, that everyone drunk as much as I did.
Not true. Most of the time I was in blackout mode, so how would I have known what everyone was drinking?
Years later I am still trying to live down the reputation I built for myself.
I went to work functions and did not drink. I was amazed that most people had two to three drinks but made them last all night.
No-one drank like me.
Soon my behaviour when drunk caused me anxiety.
This was both drunken behaviour at work and in my personal life.
Drinking was the only way to forget what I had done and the way I had acted.
That's when it turned into an every night habit.
But drinking never solves anxiety, it only creates more, so it was a never ending story of unhappiness, anxiety and worry.
Take it from one who found out the hard way.
Work + drink + girls + wild nights out = no successful career.
You are obviously not happy about your drinking, despite what you believe work thinks.
So why not stay here, read a bit, think things through and see how you feel.
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: minnesota
Posts: 272
do you need to be concerned? i believe you already are. i have kids your age who i love more than i can say and i am sure there are people who will say the same about you. oh, and we love you, too! please take care, God bless!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
Hi RandomDude.
You are to be commended for taking a hard look at your drinking patterns.
Only you can decide whether it is a problem, and whether you may or may not be alcoholic. But I just wanted to share a little bit of my story, because you remind me of me when I was a younger man.
I'm mid 40's, and your drinking sounds exactly like my drinking when I was mid 20's. Unlike me, it seems you have the wisdom to realize you may be headed down a destructive path.
Alcoholism is a deadly, progressive disease. It always gets worse, never better.
The progression really got hold of me until I became barely employable, and came within an inch of losing my very good job and career.
Because I didn't address my drinking in my 20's, here's what happened:
I lost my good credit rating, lost my house, lost my marriage, lost my good reputation at work (too many no shows, hungover mornings, poor performance). My finances are a disaster despite my good income.
I got a DUI, spent a night in jail.
I lost a drinking buddy to cirrhosis. He was only 43. I just found out 2 days ago that another former drinking buddy was diagnosed with cirrhosis.
I used to be a happy happy good times party drinker out at the bars. The last few years of my drinking was done almost exclusively at home alone, where I would sit for 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days straight drinking all day everyday.
That's what the progression of alcoholism did to me.
The good news is, none of the above has to happen to you.
I wish you all the best,
SD
You are to be commended for taking a hard look at your drinking patterns.
Only you can decide whether it is a problem, and whether you may or may not be alcoholic. But I just wanted to share a little bit of my story, because you remind me of me when I was a younger man.
I'm mid 40's, and your drinking sounds exactly like my drinking when I was mid 20's. Unlike me, it seems you have the wisdom to realize you may be headed down a destructive path.
Alcoholism is a deadly, progressive disease. It always gets worse, never better.
The progression really got hold of me until I became barely employable, and came within an inch of losing my very good job and career.
Because I didn't address my drinking in my 20's, here's what happened:
I lost my good credit rating, lost my house, lost my marriage, lost my good reputation at work (too many no shows, hungover mornings, poor performance). My finances are a disaster despite my good income.
I got a DUI, spent a night in jail.
I lost a drinking buddy to cirrhosis. He was only 43. I just found out 2 days ago that another former drinking buddy was diagnosed with cirrhosis.
I used to be a happy happy good times party drinker out at the bars. The last few years of my drinking was done almost exclusively at home alone, where I would sit for 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days straight drinking all day everyday.
That's what the progression of alcoholism did to me.
The good news is, none of the above has to happen to you.
I wish you all the best,
SD
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by RandomDude
If I stay at this level I'm fine, but if there's a fair chance it turns into something worse then I absolutely need to keep a close eye on it.
Not likely. In large doses (3 or more drinks per session) alcohol acts like a poison to the body's organs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 269
You sound exactly like me in my 20s. Ten years later I was drinking around the clock and went through 3 rehabs before I could stop. You're smart to take a step back and look at your drinking now. The scary part for me was that I went from where you are to having a major problem seemingly overnight. It just caught up with me so fast. So listen to the advice you get here, and be careful.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi RandomDude. Good thing you are taking a hard look at your drinking habits. There definitely is cause for concern. I started out drinking in a similar way, and in the end I had a drink by my side all the time - totally dependent on it. I never dreamed that could happen to me.
When I was in my 20's and had no responsibilities I didn't worry at all about the consequences of drinking. I should have. Alcohol took me down and destroyed my life, and I let it. There were danger signs all along - many of which you mention. I hope you'll stay and keep talking to us. You might be avoiding a crisis later in life.
When I was in my 20's and had no responsibilities I didn't worry at all about the consequences of drinking. I should have. Alcohol took me down and destroyed my life, and I let it. There were danger signs all along - many of which you mention. I hope you'll stay and keep talking to us. You might be avoiding a crisis later in life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR RandomDude
I guess the best thing to do would be to hang around here and see if you can relate to any other posts. It might give you something to think about at least. Personally, although I knew I had a problem with drinking too much, the real problems started when I tried to stop. Maybe giving up for an extended period might be a good idea x
I guess the best thing to do would be to hang around here and see if you can relate to any other posts. It might give you something to think about at least. Personally, although I knew I had a problem with drinking too much, the real problems started when I tried to stop. Maybe giving up for an extended period might be a good idea x
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Will it get worse? Probably. Alcoholism is progressive - always gets worse, never better.
And all the things that haven't happened to you - yet - may happen down the road. Do you want to take that chance? All it takes is one incident...
Welcome to the site!
And all the things that haven't happened to you - yet - may happen down the road. Do you want to take that chance? All it takes is one incident...Welcome to the site!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
First of all, thanks for the all the responses, I appreciate it.
The big takeaway here is that there is some chance (whether it's 1% or 100%) that this thing turns into a full blown drinking problem. I was posting kind of hoping you'd all come back with "hey no big deal, lots of people do that and grow out of it, we all knew we had problems by then so you're probably fine!" Probably not the best hope in the world, but hey a man can dream...
It means that no matter what, I've got to keep an eye on it. And that's ok, better be aware than not, I suppose. My next question would be how many people do just grow out of it, or maintain the same level with no real problems ever coming along. The sample on this forum is people that have drinking problems, I'd be curious what % of the general public met similar criteria as me and were just ok forever. That would give me some idea what chance I'm looking at here and how diligent should I be about it.
There were a few questions/comments about my work, and I think it is the driving factor here so I'll elaborate a little bit on that. I work in finance in NYC. When I say drinking is part of the culture, I mean that as I type this roughly half my team is out entertaining different clients (which we do, a fair amount) and, depending on how the night shapes up, these guys (aged 20's to 50's, some with wives and kids) will end up completely obliterated. It's just kind of expected. I took out some clients recently, we stayed out until bars closed and I was absolutely still drunk at work the next morning, and the response was "hey, nice work." In fact, if I had gone out, had 3-4 beers and left it would have actually hurt my career. The clients were all hammered. I will say that I am pretty good about making sure I'm not the drunkest one. My tolerance is pretty extreme and I make a good point of only drinking what the clients drink, so I don't find myself becoming the story of the night (in a negative way) around people I rely on for business.
Now, I love my job (not just the entertaining part, which is admittedly a lot of fun) and there is potentially a ton of money (truly, millions per year) in it. I have no plans to leave. There are functioning alcoholics all over the office, as long as you can perform during the day and get face time with clients at night you're a winner. I only know of one guy in the entire office that quit drinking, and he was already a huge success by that point and didn't have to prove anything.
I say this not as an excuse, but to give you some idea of where I'm coming from, and the primary reason for posting here. I can't allow myself to get to a point where I need to quit drinking. I need to be aware what my risk is and manage it, so I don't end up in that place where I legally or for my own health and safety need to completely stop. My friends that are my age slowly have discarded the college lifestyle and have adjusted to their jobs and lives (their jobs where showing up to work drunk or hungover because you were out partying on a Tuesday isn't ok), so they don't have the same risk I do. I recognize the risk (especially after talking to you all), and want to do something about it.
The big takeaway here is that there is some chance (whether it's 1% or 100%) that this thing turns into a full blown drinking problem. I was posting kind of hoping you'd all come back with "hey no big deal, lots of people do that and grow out of it, we all knew we had problems by then so you're probably fine!" Probably not the best hope in the world, but hey a man can dream...
It means that no matter what, I've got to keep an eye on it. And that's ok, better be aware than not, I suppose. My next question would be how many people do just grow out of it, or maintain the same level with no real problems ever coming along. The sample on this forum is people that have drinking problems, I'd be curious what % of the general public met similar criteria as me and were just ok forever. That would give me some idea what chance I'm looking at here and how diligent should I be about it.
There were a few questions/comments about my work, and I think it is the driving factor here so I'll elaborate a little bit on that. I work in finance in NYC. When I say drinking is part of the culture, I mean that as I type this roughly half my team is out entertaining different clients (which we do, a fair amount) and, depending on how the night shapes up, these guys (aged 20's to 50's, some with wives and kids) will end up completely obliterated. It's just kind of expected. I took out some clients recently, we stayed out until bars closed and I was absolutely still drunk at work the next morning, and the response was "hey, nice work." In fact, if I had gone out, had 3-4 beers and left it would have actually hurt my career. The clients were all hammered. I will say that I am pretty good about making sure I'm not the drunkest one. My tolerance is pretty extreme and I make a good point of only drinking what the clients drink, so I don't find myself becoming the story of the night (in a negative way) around people I rely on for business.
Now, I love my job (not just the entertaining part, which is admittedly a lot of fun) and there is potentially a ton of money (truly, millions per year) in it. I have no plans to leave. There are functioning alcoholics all over the office, as long as you can perform during the day and get face time with clients at night you're a winner. I only know of one guy in the entire office that quit drinking, and he was already a huge success by that point and didn't have to prove anything.
I say this not as an excuse, but to give you some idea of where I'm coming from, and the primary reason for posting here. I can't allow myself to get to a point where I need to quit drinking. I need to be aware what my risk is and manage it, so I don't end up in that place where I legally or for my own health and safety need to completely stop. My friends that are my age slowly have discarded the college lifestyle and have adjusted to their jobs and lives (their jobs where showing up to work drunk or hungover because you were out partying on a Tuesday isn't ok), so they don't have the same risk I do. I recognize the risk (especially after talking to you all), and want to do something about it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
The thing is RD alcoholism is progressive - I could have never imagined in my 20s just how non functional I'd be at 40.
I've heard the being sober might hurt my career line before - heck, I even used it (I was a musician)
you know what really destroys a career?
being a drunk.
Think of everything you hold dear - job, family, friends, partners, health - most of us put all of that at risk because we didn't know when to quit...some of us lost it all.
D
I've heard the being sober might hurt my career line before - heck, I even used it (I was a musician)
you know what really destroys a career?
being a drunk.
Think of everything you hold dear - job, family, friends, partners, health - most of us put all of that at risk because we didn't know when to quit...some of us lost it all.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Ahhhh...to be young again!
I was much like you. For me it got progressively worse...not overnight...but bit by bit till I finally had to make a change.
Alcohol is an addictive substance...for everyone in my opinion. I think our social circumstances and family life etc determine whether its going to be a slow boil or something that is going to have to be dealt with at some point short of the average human lifespan.
I made it to 42.
I think most folks get a handle on it all on their own and learn to abstain or moderate without a lot of drama. I don't think it ever...just passes.
So...you can try and change your drinking now or you can wait for things to get worse. I don't have a feeling one way or the other as to which is preferable. I personally don't think I would have ever had the wherewithal to quit till things actually did get bad.
You sound on top of it though...more self aware than I was. I trust that you'll figure it out one day. Maybe soon.
I was much like you. For me it got progressively worse...not overnight...but bit by bit till I finally had to make a change.
Alcohol is an addictive substance...for everyone in my opinion. I think our social circumstances and family life etc determine whether its going to be a slow boil or something that is going to have to be dealt with at some point short of the average human lifespan.
I made it to 42.
I think most folks get a handle on it all on their own and learn to abstain or moderate without a lot of drama. I don't think it ever...just passes.
So...you can try and change your drinking now or you can wait for things to get worse. I don't have a feeling one way or the other as to which is preferable. I personally don't think I would have ever had the wherewithal to quit till things actually did get bad.
You sound on top of it though...more self aware than I was. I trust that you'll figure it out one day. Maybe soon.
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