brdlvr

I never believed all the warnings that alcohol can kill you, despite having two close friends die from the disease. I thought I was different since I only drink beer and only on the weekends. And I thought I could quit and stay stopped on my own.

Well I'm throwing in the towel. After a day of drinking yesterday, I puked all over the side of my bed (wish I could say that was the first time, but wasn't). I could have passed out and chocked on it. That really put the fear in me. Plus I was having thoughts of ending my life. And although I never would do it - just the fact that I wanted to die..

I finally truly believe in my heart that if I don't stop, alcohol Will kill me. And I can't do that to my parents or my little dog.

So day one - and Lord let it be the last day one - and back to AA and damn well gonna force myself to stick with it

alloy

Good luck. I hope u make it

Ghostlight

Congratulations on your decision to quit.
Choking on vomit is one way to die, there are many others. Some pretty gruesome. Stopping now, you can save your own live.

I've had friends die, too, and it was pretty awful.

Best of luck quiting no matter how you choose to get sober.

thisisme

Replace could with will.
Best to you on your sober way.

MrsKing

There's a documentary called 'Rain in my Heart' which you can find on youtube. It's not pleasant and at times is hard to watch but it was that which really brought it home to me that I could die if I continued.

Being sober really is so much better. I hope that this is your last day one, too, and wish you all the best.

paul99

I am glad to hear that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Better to get off this carousel now, before it gets worse...and it does get worse.

Best of luck

jsch

Good for you. Welcome!

Dee74

Yep - read my story sometime if you haven't brdlvr.
Beer really can kill you.

D

MycoolFitz

Yes learning that for real recently.

LSC1

Mrs King
Thanks for the heads up about Rain in my Heart. I needed to watch that today.

zanzibar

I'm glad your eyes have been opened brdlvr.

wallup

I'm so glad you are ok, and best wishes in your endeavors to kick alcohol to the curb!

instant

There is a better way that is safe

Gottalife

Prayers to you my friend. I pray that you are ready to quit for good and all, and that you are willing to go to any lengths to do it. All the best,

brdlvr

Thanks for the words of encouragment. I reached out to my former sponsor and she is willing to meet and work with me again. I'm going to continue with my counseling and also throw in a SMART meeting once a week as well. I'm nervous (for lack of a better word) about a life without drinking. What my drinking friends will say when I dont drink, will people still want to hang out with me? Will someone date a sober woman? and what if I fail Again? -- I know odat.. I'm bad about worrying about the future and the what ifs..

THEOjibway

I thought the same way last year of summer 11, I had gone on a final 4 day binge and i was drinking like crazy. I drank alcohol straight for 4 days, no food, no water and very little sleep. I was shocked when bars would even serve me! I was getting sick and yet I still picked up and drank more. got sick, picked up more. I spent the whole day puking into a garbage bag and it got full and I had to use another to fill that one up! And I STILL drank! My mind was lost and I didn't care about anyone or anything or myself. I just wanted to drink till I died and I almost did. I missed 3 days of work because I was busy drinking the day away, I never called in sick because I called in enough times that summer that my boss started to suspect I was drinking again (had an issue in the past before with it)

I truly hope you stick to your word on here. I promised so many times I'd quit drinking and I never meant it... I only did so the sickness could go away of my hangover and there I went at it again a week later. it is a powerful foe, alcoholism and it almost robbed me of my life and I am only 28. It only took 7 years of drinking to bring me down to my knees. Get help and do whatever it takes this time to get sober! It's worth it! I now know it truly was worth it because here I am, sober and alive and well. A year and 3 months sober now. I have never obtained a year and past in being sober. I only ever reached 9 months once and ever since it got less and less. Now I am strong and on my feet. Life has been a challenge lately this past year, family passing away, recent break up with my girlfriend of 10 months... which thank god I am grateful today that I have AA because if I wasn't in AA... I'd be out there drinking right now to rid of my pain for a bit. Good luck! If we can all do it, so can you! Willpower! Courage! Strength! Do it! We're all here for you to help!

Nineteen67

I cannot stop.