Windancer

So does anyone else wake up feeling positive, hopeful, motivated, and then sometime in mid afternoon and especially in the evening have their mood just plummet down through the floor? Ive been eating well, keeping my blood sugar good, sleeping well, and have been productive for the most part. My doc has done tests and everything seems fine. My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I have tried to keep busy yet it seems no matter what, I'll get grouchy, sad, and really depressed, burst out crying for no reason in the evening even if I had an otherwise good day. Thoughts or similar experiences anyone?

Windancer

Thanks for all the responses. Yes, sarcasm intended. I just feel that I try very hard to support others on this forum and while it is very hard for me to start my own threads, this is the second out of not so many that have received 0 responses. Im having a very stressful day (and morning today too, which is unusual). Perhaps if I waited for awhile somebody would respond today but my feelings right now are dissapointment. That is how I feel.

robgt350

i did wake up in a great mood. last night i did not drink at all. once again i am starting my first day with out drinking

regeneration

I get this now and then windancer... how long have you been sober for? I'm nearly at 8 months and initially I really struggled with it. I think with me it was my brain/body adjusting to life without alcohol. I was also awful in the mornings and then the evenings... can't win.

I did a lot of mindfulness meditation for the first 2 months, it really helped me to just allow the feelings to be there... as if I tried to keep busy they'd then come back whenever I took a breather (though keeping busy by reading books also helped me).

I think it's part of adjusting to sober life, it's finding what works for you to help manage it. I wouldn't worry either about people taking a couple of hours to respond on here. I sometimes just run out of words to say/think I won't make a difference with what I'm saying so don't post... not sure if that applies to others.

Windancer

Thanks to both of you . I used to drink daily almost all day, then I would "quit" only to drink several days later, now I am on day 4. I should get back into meditation again. It was helpful. I guess maybe I could be more patient in feeling better in the evenings, given I dont have that much complete sobriety time under my belt. I think part of it is that Im lonely.

robgt350

day 4 that is great. congratulations

paul99

Funny, I seemed a lot more attracted to this post than the original - it seems to say as much as your original post.

I used to feel like this early on in my recovery - that is was me helping those reaching out, it was me who would try and keep the ties going with my treatment buddies, it was me who looked out for others in AA, etc. And of course I expected them to return the "favour". So why were they like that? Why didn't they help me out?

The answer was that I was putting expectations on others, and when they didn't follow through with how I wanted them to follow through, I got disappointed / angry / resentful. I had to learn to stop putting expectations on others, so as to remain in a serene and positive place.

Continue to support others - it's a form of service, or at the very least, encouragement. This is the basis for working with others, which takes us out of ourselves, which helps to alleviate the squirrels in your head taking you down mental and non-mental paths you don't need to go down. Continue to start threads if you feel that you need to start one. It may be uncomfortable, and it might stir up things when no one responds immediately, but you're moving a bit more outside of your old ways.

Sorry if I am rambling a bit, but I just wanted to let you know that I know that frustration at times.

DoubleBarrel

I have been feeling like crap a lot of the time. Not sure when it will end.
I also feel a lot better than when I was drunk or hungover all the time.
It gets better with time.

Also, eating and eating well are different things.

For me, too much sugar, caffeine, or msg, all of which I chow down sober, are terrible for your brain.

Glad to see you here.

doggonecarl

When I was drinking, I woke up feeling like crap and then drank to feel good. You are seeing the other side of the cycle.

There you go. It hasn't even been a week. It takes a while to get our bodies and mental state back to some sort of equilibrium. Be patient. One of the best tools to have in early recovery (and the hardest to use, I think) is patience.

lilyrosemary

Hey Windancer....i am almost three years sober and i feel just like you...in the AM i can take on the world...i journal, and pray and all that, work out, sometimes i go to work depending if i have a job or not, then i make dinner, and after that i feel like a completely different person. sometime i just want to go to bed just to get the day over with so i can start all anew again. beats me, i just thought that was the way everyone was : ) i am 53, in real good health, but i do have general anxiety as well. i also want to eat a LOT of sugar in the evening. maybe its just a culmination of a day in the life....i prefer this, though, over drinking to excess and basically passing out...best wishes to you!

Thepatman

Hi Windancer, I am on day 7. I still cry sometimes, but I think it's normal. And when I do I think it's just general sadness trying to accept past mystakes, why I waited so long to get sober, that I could not control etc.

Theory: on a subconscience level you are greiving your old friend. Your best friend, when happy he's there, when sad etc. Booze became our best friend, but we had to leave the friendship behind. A friend that slowlly kills you is not a friend.

AcceptingChange

Yes, i have anxiety every day. I try many, many things to keep it at bay.
The most effective for me is exercise.

My anxiety is in the morning. I wake up terrified. I realize how little is in my control,
and how easy it is for the failure of a few small things to derail everything. And since i'm not financially independent, i worry about how i'll provide for tomorrow.
I'm certain that my alcoholism is based on this anxiety. I drank more than other people because i loved not being conscious of my thoughts. I've asked others if they have similar thinking patterns, and they say they don't. I know they're being truthful, so i know it's not 100% the same for everybody. And i know I was self-medicating.
When i take paxil or even st johns wort, the desire to drink isn't intense. It's not a physical need, it's just a mental temptation that i have enough will-power to not act on, because i know i'll just be sick & hungover the next day.

I don't know why i get anxiety and some other people don't. I do think it's based on my biology, and not just a mental phenomenon.

Thanks! Winddancer for all your contributions to the forum. We all appreciate it.

Dee74

My emotions were all over the place for at leats the first months - but it does even out and it does get better.

We just need to cultivate a little of that P word none of us seems to love too much (patience)

D

healthylife87

I remember when I went through a rough break up about 4 years ago, I would be fine and optimistic during the day but at night I would just cry and cry and feel so down. I don't know what it is about night time, but I can definitely relate.

Windancer

Thanks, and I really appreciate the advice about not putting expectations on others. Sometimes I have a hard time with that, but I am trying to be a lot more aware of my thoughts and thought patterns, and this is a nice reminder

Windancer

Thanks everyone. All things considered, (I have a court date tomorrow), I actually dont feel too bad this evening. Im not sure why. Maybe because I did a bit more excercise than usual, and maybe my super healthy diet is kicking in. Anyhow, Im going to try and be a little more bold when starting threads! That has been a bit of a weak point for me on this site. I'm glad I started this one.

AcceptingChange

Yes! Great plan! I used to start a lot of threads when i was newly recovering.
My brain was filled with awful craving constantly. Having this community to share with was a big blessing then (and still is now). I met lots of great people, and got input into new ways to handle my cravings and change my thinking patterns.
Nobody remembers if i started way too many threads or not, because there are so many threads posted every day. We love to hear from you.

How did court go today Windancer?

isinganyway

Could it be seasonal affective disorder? My mood always sucks in the afternoons/early evening this time of year because the darkness means your brain produces fewer happy chemicals... And you're in Canada!! It must get really dark! There are SAD therapy lamps you can buy on amaze for about 70$, google the condition and talk to your doctor?