claren

Hi,

It's been a while since I posted. Went to rehab and left early because I didn't feel as though my drinking was bad enough. I have drunk a lot since I was 14, But it goes up and down. I was drinking over two bottles of wine a day four years ago - my dilemma is, my drinking became a lot better - I reduced my drinking to one bottle of wine per night. I wasn't drinking in tge mornings but I would have evenings where I would drink slightly more than a bottle. Im very confused about where I am on the alcoholism scale, as I have over the last few months been moderating to two glasses. I'm wondering if I have a psychological addiction to wine over a biological one? Any advice - I'm driving myself nuts

DoubleBarrel

In my experience normal people don't think much about their alcohol consumption, just like I rarely think about if I have been drinking too much lemonade.

In my case, the obsession over drinking turned into a physical thing, and that was when the real fun started.

How about not drinking for a length of time? See how you feel?
If not, why not?

I don't think there is a soul on earth that wouldn't benefit from being sober for a while.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Claren.

I don't know if there is some official borderline between alcoholics and non-alcoholics, but can you do without wine at all for, say, a month, and feel comfortable without it?

Take care.

Sasha4

Does it matter what category you fall in to?
Do you need a label for yourself?
Just the fact that alcohol makes you unhappy and makes you worry and life would be peaceful without this constant chatter in your head?

x

instant

Sorry but I hear alarm bells.

My capacity for control was eroded after years of drinking. It didn't come back no matter how hard I tired to moderate or what I told myself about the situation.

Your experience may vary.

Boleo

No matter where you are at on the alcoholism scale, remember that it is a progressive illness. If you continue to binge drink (3 or more drinks per session), you will get worse over time and the last person that will see it is you.

Maylie

If you didn't have a drinking problem you wouldn't need to moderate your consumption. I don't think it is healthy for anyone to be drinking a bottle of wine a night.

Whenever someone I know asks me if I think they have a problem I always reply with, people that don't have drinking problems don't worry about how much they drink, or when they drink, and they sure don't worry about moderating.

I agree with others that you should try to stop for a month or so and see what happens. If you get to 2 weeks and your mind convinces you that you deserve a drink or that you don't have a problem and don't need to go the whole month well then you'll have your answer.

Thepatman

One bottle of veno per night, let say you ramin at that quantity, now go forward 20 years...

Ask your liver what it thinks of that 365*20=7300 bottles

ru12

Is your wine drinking causing you problems? I don't think it matters the quantity of what you drink, it matters what the drink does to and for you.

hypochondriac

I'm genuinely confused about your post Claren. One bottle of wine a night is a lot! I never drank in the day, never mind mornings, and at one point for a few weeks I had it down to just one glass of wine a night. I still think I'm an alcoholic. Just because I managed to control it for a brief amount of time doesn't get me off the hook or mean that the slate is wiped clean on all those years of daily drinking.

How long did you manage in rehab? I only ask because I have noticed how much I was dependent when I actually quit. And I am talking about psychological dependence. I was only physically dependent the last few years of my drinking and really got over that pretty quick once I stopped drinking. But I had been using it as a crutch for years and was a bit lost without it.

Why did you want to give up drinking in the first place?

sunrise1

I recall thinking that I wasn't "bad enough" to be an alcoholic... I used that reasoning to keep drinking for a long time. What finally got through to me was that I didn't need a label to realize that my drinking was more of a detriment to me and my relationships, my pocketbook and my credibility. After a few false starts I have enjoyed two years of sobriety, during which I occasionally think to myself, "was I really an alcoholic?"... and I am now able to recognize this as my addiction trying to get me back in the game. Life's so much better without drinking and taking the label out of the equation answered a lot of questions for me.

IronDuke

Think this is my first post here, been sober 15 months myself after being in rehab. To the OP, I remember being in rehab wondering if I was really an alcoholic and I checked in with DT's! I came to the conclusion that non-alcoholics and non-addicts don't end up in a rehab facility.

thislonelygirl

sweetheart if your drinking was bad enough to go to rehab and bad enough it has to be controled to a bottle a day then yes you have a problem. fight the denial that you do not. surrender to recovery and keep seeking means to commit to abstinance. you dont want it to go on any lomger. the lomger it goes on the harder it is to break. the more effects it will have on your mind and body and the more denial will creep up on you. the time to surrender is now. theres no te better than the present and i will keep you in my thoughts as you search for this truth

DAB

It doesn't matter if you are an alcoholic or not.
If you want to stop drinking you are in the right place.
That is the only question that really matters, do you want to stop?
If you don't want to stop, it doesn't matter what label you are given.
If you do want to stop, it doesn't matter what label you are given either.
If you had a weight problem, would you wait until you were morbidly obese to do anything about it? "Ok, that's it. You can label me fat now, can't make it through the door, I better stop eating my nightly Ben and Jerry's Twinkie sandwich."

clueless82

Unfortunately, only you can work out if you are an alcoholic or not. It's once you accept you are powerless over alcohol, that you are able to change. I was once told by someone that if you can't follow health guidelines to drink the safe amounts of alcohol, then chances are you have a drinking problem. Although, having a drinking problem doesn't necessarily mean you are an alcoholic. I knew I was an alcoholic when I began hiding the amounts I drank from everyone and having the compultion to drink until I blacked out.
Good luck!

TSDD

That's not what everyone in my life who ever saw me drinking said.

I can whole heartedly say I drank way the F*** too much!

That all being said, you have some pretty good advice here. If it's causing problems in your life you shouldn't be doing it, and if you're uncertain try a year of total abstinance (no smoking grass or eating benzo's either) and see how you feel after that.

If you quit drinking and find there's less trouble in your life then you have your answer. If you can not quit drinking for a year then you have your answer. If you quit drinking for a year then go back to it "making up for lost time"..... you have your answer.

claren

Hi Midnightblue,
I haven't been a month without wine in 23 years! ( except my three pregnancies - could not stomach tge stuff). Even though I'm moderating the thought of not having any terrifies me! I can't get my head around tge severity of my problem, so I keep looking for something- labels, guidelines. Since coming out of rehab I have been moderating well, I want more I just won't let myself. It's miserable, but better than not having any. I don't know where this fear of not drinking comes from. I just can't get honest with myself.... Arch.... Very frustrating

claren

Hi TSDD,

That thought of not drinking is ..... Arrrr, the anxiety is rising just thinking about not drinking even though I have horribly been moderating last two months since re-hab. I think that i magically need to find a book that says 'hey Clare you been drinking too much give it a rest' not sure if I'll find it. I'm looking for divine intervention now, not sure what it's going to take. But I do appreciate everyones responses. I'm thinking and digesting!
Thanks!!!!

claren

Hi Thislonleygirl, thanks for the advice. How did you fight your denial? Not sure how to be level headed about any of it. I'm not getting drunk anymore but I'm still drinking, I can't bare to not drink again.... Did you go through that?

claren

Hi Sunrise,
Thanks! Thats really helpful. I do need to drop the label, I feel as though I'm looking for a kind of validation - something written somewhere that says yes you are or no you're not so quite fretting. I have drunk very heavily most of my life but I never drank during the day, or drove etc... I keep finding reasons which tell me to stop being so hard on myself!
Its very frustrating!!!! Thanks again!