asking for your advice
 

My A and I have been separated,
My A has finaly went into treatment, I have had NO contact with him, up until recently. 3 months....he has gone into a treatment centre 21 day's.

He sounds like the program has had an affect on him.....
what can I expect from him.....what are the signs to look out for....

He has asked to reconcile and I want that soooooo! I have arranged councelling for myself and the children to deal with this issue.
I guess my question is,
How much of a difference can I expect.....any treatment stories would be nice.
He seems to be Open and NOt in denial, he seems to be dealing with issues.
He is taking responsibity for his actions....and has a new net-work of recovering friends.....
I don't exspect him to come out with a personality transplant.....I admire alot of his personality trates.....but their are also some serious issues to look at....lying.....and cheating.....
he has acknowledged the lying and is definatly honest now....but what worries me is his previous attitude toward women....and guy's this is where I need your imput...
He seems to think it's his GOd given right to Cheat.....he has had multiple affairs....,How much to do with the alcohol abuse if any does this have and what kind of changes should I look for.....and what are the warning signs.
I filled out a questionaire from the treatment center regarding his recovery and I did write about this issue.....I am sure that they approached him on this OPEN and HONESTy.......
well let me have it..... :supercool rose coloured glasses are off

Every person is different when they come out. Some work their program with enthusiasm causing family and s/o's to feel left out, some are angry and resentful, some are just overwhelmingly happy. It all depends. The important thing to remember the A is going through a lot of emotional and physical changes. It's hard to deal with sobriety for some. Be loving patient and understanding and perhaps in the meantime you can join an Al-anon meeting for yourself to be better enlightened as to what to expect.

I think you both are making great strides in the healing of the relationship. When addicts and alcoholics go into recovery in some aspects so does the whole family. Take it slow, keep it real simple and don't expect miraculous changes. Good luck, keep us posted!

hello
 

THE BIG BOOK ,CHAPTER 8 'TO WIVES' CHAPTER 9'THE FAMILY AFTERWARDS' THI MIGHT BE OF SOME HELP. STAY STRONG ted :wave: title ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Sally, I want to echo Chy's comments. I think you know I went to treatment and came back home. For me, it was hard at first simply to ajust not being in an institution. I was fortunate my wife was just starting her own recovery program with the help of Al-Anon at the time. We both felt very tense at first. Our children are still young and they were just plain happy to see Daddy again. The first ten days to two weeks probably will tell you what you want to know. The most important thing for you is that your support network be in place. I wish him resolve, and for you, patience and strenght.

Dan