rockindog

I posted about a week ago about another stab at not drinking. Made until the afternoon and then the usual 5th. My wife asked me this morning why I drink. What it does to me/for me. I have just for so many years drank in the evenings and lately, spreading it over the day, some days. It is definitely getting worse. I can work at home so it is easy to sip all day and be comfortably numb by the evening. I don't want to go to AA and have some books including AVRT that I want to try. I have a number of friends with some level of drinking issues and many others who do not drink or drink a beer or two or glass of wine at a get together and then nothing. I will be 49 next Tuesday and I want to quit. The thought of never drinking again is not good for me. I feel like I just need to string a several sober days together, get through the detox issues and then I can get on with working on not drinking. I am going to the office in just a few minutes. I have meetings on and off during the day. I have asked my wife to help me get through today help me keep my committment to not drink today. She said she will do whatever I ask to help me. I hope to check in tomorrow morning with a good report. Thanks to all of you here.

doggonecarl

Dog, you've been struggling for a while. I can understand that. I quit and restarted over the course of ten years, I just didn't chronicle my struggles on this forum.

Since I've been here on SR, I've been sober. No "day ones" and for that I'm thankful. I would offer you the following suggestions in the hope that this is your last day 1.

1. Don't cling so strongly to what you won't do for your recovery. You don't want to try AA. This exclusion limits what might work. I'm not saying you have to go to AA. People recover without it. BUT YOU AREN'T RECOVERED. Fears, especially unfounded, hinder recovery.

2. You have books you want to try. Try? Recovery isn't a recipe...it's your life! You can read all you want about AVRT. But you have to apply the practices. Do, not try.

3. I understand your apprehension about never drinking. This is where the term "one day at a time" comes in. Don't drink for today. Then tomorrow, don't drink for that day. Don't worry about forever. For myself, it has to be never, forever, or else the promise of alcohol was out there, like a promise. I'm not a normal drinker. I never would be. So never drinking works for me.

4. It's great that your wife is supportive. But this recovery is yours. Own it.

Good luck.

awuh1

Hi Rockindog. Been there done that. You’re in a cycle of resolve and relapse. Quitting generally looks very frightening to those in your position. It sure did for me. I think it was because a drink seemed like a comfort and my alcohol use had made life so miserable that I needed some sort of relief. The trouble was that the more comfort I took, the worse my life got.

Your plan for obtaining sobriety is a little vague. You seem to be attempting to do this mostly with the support from your wife and your self-will. You should ask yourself why, if this has not worked in the past, you are willing to try it again. It’s just slow torture to detox over and over again.

IMO it’s time for a change of strategy. I think it would help to get more specific about a plan, and to do what others have done to beat this thing. No need to reinvent the wheel, though it will require resolve and a willingness to face your fears.