Lack of patience cant function at job
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Lack of patience cant function at job
I've been sober for over a year now. and more often then not I have trouble with focusing on my job. I hate my line of work hate my job want a new carreeer but obviously its not that easy to just switch. I've found it was probably easier to tolerate when i wasnt sober. I could blow off the frustrations at the end of the day with some booze and keep on keepen on. Now that I cant do that i want out all the more. I keep figureing i'll just get fired cause im not the employee i once was back when i drank. I'm not saying i need to drink to do this job but it helped me keep my sanity in years prior. Now i'm finding it takes a lot to hold it together and get by with what probably isnt even the bare minimum.
Anyone else have this issue after quiting and decide hey time for a new line of work that i can handle better? I almost feel disabled to some degree over this i should be able to handle it but i'm out of patience.
Anyone else have this issue after quiting and decide hey time for a new line of work that i can handle better? I almost feel disabled to some degree over this i should be able to handle it but i'm out of patience.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
You sound exhausted.
I am very sorry you are dealing with this.
Yes, I know how you feel.
What is it about work?
What do you do? (If that isn't too nosy)
Anything in particular?
Can you cut down your hours and live on a lower income for a while?
That is what I am doing at the moment.
I hope we can give you a bit of help here.
Hugs to you.
I am very sorry you are dealing with this.
Yes, I know how you feel.
What is it about work?
What do you do? (If that isn't too nosy)
Anything in particular?
Can you cut down your hours and live on a lower income for a while?
That is what I am doing at the moment.
I hope we can give you a bit of help here.
Hugs to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I've come a long way gotten sober lost well over 100 lbs quit smoking i can now run 5 6 miles a day no problem. Mended my relationships up got rid of some bad ones fixed others. I still have this job problem and a big embaressing debt problem and yes I'm exhuasted I now with how far i've come I can keep going it'll be alright. But yeah i'd being lien if i told you i wasnt tired.
I cant change my line of work for financial reasons the job market stinks etc.. Its my line of work mainly. the corporate politics and dealing with the other personalities I cant stomach them anymore nor the work i have to do i no longer enjoy. Not sure I ever did but at one time it was challenging not its not and at one time the stresses could be washed away with booze. Now they cant and the insanity of it its just too much to bear I want something else. But feel I'm only equiped to work some min wage job because i dont have the patience for these higher paid jobs.
I've lost patience with people who dont care per say. They will lie and do wtvr to get ahead. That was ok with me when i could drink it away. Now? I got 0 tolerance.
its not just work its anything I have 0 tolerance or patience people are taken back when i snap and swiftly cut out bad things in my life or dont tolerate someones comment or something. I was not always this way so it suprises people. which has cost me friends etc..
I was the type you could bully around and i'd keep on taken it. Now that dont have booze well I no longer take it.
I hope this makes sense. I'm curious if others have had this problem. Its a good problem to have per say but its a whole new area for me.
I cant change my line of work for financial reasons the job market stinks etc.. Its my line of work mainly. the corporate politics and dealing with the other personalities I cant stomach them anymore nor the work i have to do i no longer enjoy. Not sure I ever did but at one time it was challenging not its not and at one time the stresses could be washed away with booze. Now they cant and the insanity of it its just too much to bear I want something else. But feel I'm only equiped to work some min wage job because i dont have the patience for these higher paid jobs.
I've lost patience with people who dont care per say. They will lie and do wtvr to get ahead. That was ok with me when i could drink it away. Now? I got 0 tolerance.
its not just work its anything I have 0 tolerance or patience people are taken back when i snap and swiftly cut out bad things in my life or dont tolerate someones comment or something. I was not always this way so it suprises people. which has cost me friends etc..
I was the type you could bully around and i'd keep on taken it. Now that dont have booze well I no longer take it.
I hope this makes sense. I'm curious if others have had this problem. Its a good problem to have per say but its a whole new area for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
You are a man, I remember you back saying about your wife being supportive.
In men and some women, (me) depression can manifest as anger.
Men in particular are more comfortable saying that they are stressed or angry, rather than depressed.
Would you be comfortable talking to a psychiatrist to get a clearer picture of what your issues are?
I hope you would consider that.
I have a lot of issues stemming from childhood.
I am dealing with them now. Not for the first time mind you.
I have taken a very, very convoluted route to this point.
Rebel, Drink, Talk to friends, drink some more, therapy, antidepressants, off drink, AA, on drink, AA again, off drink, off antidepressants, AA.....
Now, AA and really careful who I talk to, resting up, boundaries, dealing with anger.
In men and some women, (me) depression can manifest as anger.
Men in particular are more comfortable saying that they are stressed or angry, rather than depressed.
Would you be comfortable talking to a psychiatrist to get a clearer picture of what your issues are?
I hope you would consider that.
I have a lot of issues stemming from childhood.
I am dealing with them now. Not for the first time mind you.
I have taken a very, very convoluted route to this point.
Rebel, Drink, Talk to friends, drink some more, therapy, antidepressants, off drink, AA, on drink, AA again, off drink, off antidepressants, AA.....
Now, AA and really careful who I talk to, resting up, boundaries, dealing with anger.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
My drinking I've identified as because of this. Bad child hood abusive parents etc.. this led to some form of substance abuse as soon as possible to help ease the pain-- which led to adult hood also not easy and pain that led to substance abuse as well booze primarily. I was self medicating never actually dealing with the BS. And by BS i mean not just m childhood issues but day to day life issues (dog crapped on the floor again to kid needs new shoes to gee we gonna be late on a bill etc..)
I realized this called my mother on her abuse I had to practically rip an apology out of her but she did indeed admit she was out of line and apologize. I dont even speak to my stepfather anymore so no chance i'll get anything from him tho i ponder trying so that i can feel better.
I'm not too interested in therapy. I dont want to be prescribed some medication if i was i wouldnt take it anyhow. Substance is what i'm trying to get away from how can i get off one drug by getting on another? I know that works for many tho till they can finally be free from it.
You have an interesting point about depression manifesting as anger I wonder if thats part of it. I am angry a lot that i got a raw deal. I run to help burn that frustration off and clear my head it helps but you might be on to something.
I am rather angry i've gotten so far done so well but still have a ways to go! I look at myself and say look at all i've done but look at all i still need to repair!!.
I realized this called my mother on her abuse I had to practically rip an apology out of her but she did indeed admit she was out of line and apologize. I dont even speak to my stepfather anymore so no chance i'll get anything from him tho i ponder trying so that i can feel better.
I'm not too interested in therapy. I dont want to be prescribed some medication if i was i wouldnt take it anyhow. Substance is what i'm trying to get away from how can i get off one drug by getting on another? I know that works for many tho till they can finally be free from it.
You have an interesting point about depression manifesting as anger I wonder if thats part of it. I am angry a lot that i got a raw deal. I run to help burn that frustration off and clear my head it helps but you might be on to something.
I am rather angry i've gotten so far done so well but still have a ways to go! I look at myself and say look at all i've done but look at all i still need to repair!!.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I know the grass is always greener on the other side but i'm sure we all know some where things just seem to always work out for them. The some I know i know well enough to know that i know enough about the situation that yes indeed things do just seem to always work out for these folks etc..
That too can be angering. I've fallen down a lot in life made a lot of mistakes and got a raw deal many of times. I'm getting ahead of it now fixing things getting stuff back on track etc.. and as much as i keep my chin up i realize even now constantly i get the short end. I try and remain positive and most of the time i do ok with that. But yeah it is not easy.
That too can be angering. I've fallen down a lot in life made a lot of mistakes and got a raw deal many of times. I'm getting ahead of it now fixing things getting stuff back on track etc.. and as much as i keep my chin up i realize even now constantly i get the short end. I try and remain positive and most of the time i do ok with that. But yeah it is not easy.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
An antidepressant does not give a "high".
Very different to drinking or drugging in my opinion.
You could go for a once-off consult and pay cash off record.
It might be a good idea.
I have to go to bed now, (230am in Ireland), but think about it.
Don't let being a stubborn guy keep you from getting sorted out.
Best of luck ZJW.
Anne
Very different to drinking or drugging in my opinion.
You could go for a once-off consult and pay cash off record.
It might be a good idea.
I have to go to bed now, (230am in Ireland), but think about it.
Don't let being a stubborn guy keep you from getting sorted out.
Best of luck ZJW.
Anne
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
ireland one day i'll get to that side of the pond always wanted to visit ireland. I dont think about trips it depresses me that i cant afford them lol.
I'm going to read up on the anger and depression and think it over. I mean i've come a long way since my drinking days I don feel that i require some medication at this point. But i get frustrated that my head keeps dipping in and out of the ugly places.
I still have a lot of worry less anxiety tho and a lot of times my worry can get the best of me and i can still spend hours a day in a bad place. The intensity of it isnt so bad and its not all the time liek it once was. I've made a lot of progress.
I feel like i'm over the hump with all this per say but still have work to do.
I'm going to read up on the anger and depression and think it over. I mean i've come a long way since my drinking days I don feel that i require some medication at this point. But i get frustrated that my head keeps dipping in and out of the ugly places.
I still have a lot of worry less anxiety tho and a lot of times my worry can get the best of me and i can still spend hours a day in a bad place. The intensity of it isnt so bad and its not all the time liek it once was. I've made a lot of progress.
I feel like i'm over the hump with all this per say but still have work to do.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
The daily practice of Gratitude (see threads on main board) has helped me enormously to focus on what is going right rather than the things that are going wrong. As a born pessimist I found it to be a powerful treatment but is slow to kick in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
your right. gratitude goes a long way. i was headed somewhere the other day and thought the same thing. then on the way home i saw a bad car accident i felt aweful for those people and thought gosh my day could be a lot worse today!.
My issue with my job is I have to reach incredibly deep to get motivated to do it and the min I encounter any obstacles with others it runs me out of motivation / patience and fast. and Once it happens I can only get a few hours of work in at a time. Even the work i do frustrates me and wears me thin. to the point where i throw my hands in the air and stop working till i can calm down that can take hours or days.
I wish I new what was wrong with me. I keep praying for a new line of work for some other door to open before i loose this job because of this.
My issue with my job is I have to reach incredibly deep to get motivated to do it and the min I encounter any obstacles with others it runs me out of motivation / patience and fast. and Once it happens I can only get a few hours of work in at a time. Even the work i do frustrates me and wears me thin. to the point where i throw my hands in the air and stop working till i can calm down that can take hours or days.
I wish I new what was wrong with me. I keep praying for a new line of work for some other door to open before i loose this job because of this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
There are some supplements and nutrients that help A LOT with anger and irritability....or they did with me anyway. I wouldnt have believed it until I tried it. That, along with practising mental excercises and things like that to help calm me down. Usually my temper tantrums dont last very long at all anymore.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
corporate slaves
zjw:
We are very much alike. I hate my job as a corporate slave. I've always hated it, but being able to drink during and after work was my way of coping. Like you, my gasoline for "keep on keepen on" was my vino.
Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for you. I can't just up and quit my job either. Well, I could and you could too, but that would be irresponsible. We become entrenched slaves when our paychecks get to a certain level. Not because of a love of money, per se, but to finance the lifestyle we've established and our loved ones have become accustomed.
As I said, I don't have an answer for you, but I can tell you what I am doing. I am forcing myself to be as productive as possible in the morning when I am at my most alert. I try to list 1 - 3 things I WILL get done each day. I am not always successful. I obviously do those mandatory, mundane things just well enough to fly under the radar and not get fired.
But, as I become more clear headed, I do start to wonder what would I do if I didn't fall into corporate America? What are my passions? What if I did accept a pay cut for my own sanity? What if I had to live off a fraction of what I make today? Would life be so bad as long as I loved living my life more? I don't know the answers to these questions yet, but I am seeking them more and more.
We will die sooner than we think (don't mean to get all dire). But, do we really want to look back over our life from our death bed and think, "only if I would have."
Good luck with your situation. I wish I had some insightful, awe-inspiring advice. If you find any answers, let me know.
Cheers!
Tammy
-----
We are very much alike. I hate my job as a corporate slave. I've always hated it, but being able to drink during and after work was my way of coping. Like you, my gasoline for "keep on keepen on" was my vino.
Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for you. I can't just up and quit my job either. Well, I could and you could too, but that would be irresponsible. We become entrenched slaves when our paychecks get to a certain level. Not because of a love of money, per se, but to finance the lifestyle we've established and our loved ones have become accustomed.
As I said, I don't have an answer for you, but I can tell you what I am doing. I am forcing myself to be as productive as possible in the morning when I am at my most alert. I try to list 1 - 3 things I WILL get done each day. I am not always successful. I obviously do those mandatory, mundane things just well enough to fly under the radar and not get fired.
But, as I become more clear headed, I do start to wonder what would I do if I didn't fall into corporate America? What are my passions? What if I did accept a pay cut for my own sanity? What if I had to live off a fraction of what I make today? Would life be so bad as long as I loved living my life more? I don't know the answers to these questions yet, but I am seeking them more and more.
We will die sooner than we think (don't mean to get all dire). But, do we really want to look back over our life from our death bed and think, "only if I would have."
Good luck with your situation. I wish I had some insightful, awe-inspiring advice. If you find any answers, let me know.
Cheers!
Tammy
-----
Last edited by tammy711; 11-13-2012 at 06:34 AM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I remember feeling quite similar.
Page 52 of the Big Book talks about the Bedevilments
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people"
I went from that to experiencing the promises on page 83 and 84
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves"
The key was for me to take the actions described in the pages between.
Page 52 of the Big Book talks about the Bedevilments
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people"
I went from that to experiencing the promises on page 83 and 84
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves"
The key was for me to take the actions described in the pages between.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
tammy711 I think you said it better then i did. I do the mundane stuff to fly under the radar and struggle to get through a few goals each day if i'm able to do that much. I have all the same thoughts can i live on less will the family be ok with that etc.. I sure would be but i'm having trouble financially providing for some of there /needs/ now if i go for less it'll be worse. No biggie but it can be hard to say no at times. I keep wondering if the decision will be decided for me sooner or later i get layed off and well theres my answer.
and your right i dont wanna look back and go Oh gosh i wasted all that time. I know what i wann do and for me I have some solutions but no way to get from point a to point b. I lack the finances to take the steps to get myself out of this predicament. But I havent given up while I may not have the finances I keep working in the other direction hoping some doors will open sooner or later.
and your right i dont wanna look back and go Oh gosh i wasted all that time. I know what i wann do and for me I have some solutions but no way to get from point a to point b. I lack the finances to take the steps to get myself out of this predicament. But I havent given up while I may not have the finances I keep working in the other direction hoping some doors will open sooner or later.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lomita, California
Posts: 200
"Z", I also wish I had an easy answer, but I don't. I quit my night time job because I can't stand the new owner of the business. Talk about an idiot. I have 18 years experience, he has less than two. OK, this will be a trigger, so I'll stop now.
I make about $200 a week, pay $600 rent, do about $350 a week in PC repairs. I got lucky on that one. Now it's just to keep sober. Which, for now, I am.
Patience is one thing I have. Tolerance for an idiot, I don't. I just walk away.
I make about $200 a week, pay $600 rent, do about $350 a week in PC repairs. I got lucky on that one. Now it's just to keep sober. Which, for now, I am.
Patience is one thing I have. Tolerance for an idiot, I don't. I just walk away.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Yeah my wife doesnt understand why i have 0 tolerance for idiots or people trying to screw me. She'll make excuses oh there in a bad mood they didnt understand your over reacting. To which i generally dont bend and am rather hard headed in my stance for good reason too generally. I was a door mat for far too long. This scares her as I'm not the same easy going happy person I once was.
I have a situation now where the one supervisor is a moron. Any time i'm concerned i'll get laid off I remind myself that he's still employed so it cant be possible for me to get laid off till they get rid of nonsense like that first.
As far as a trigger yeah once i get going on a tangent I have a hard time putting the brakes on and it escalates. No at this point i dont feel like drinking over it but smashing something sounds like a good choice lol.
I have a situation now where the one supervisor is a moron. Any time i'm concerned i'll get laid off I remind myself that he's still employed so it cant be possible for me to get laid off till they get rid of nonsense like that first.
As far as a trigger yeah once i get going on a tangent I have a hard time putting the brakes on and it escalates. No at this point i dont feel like drinking over it but smashing something sounds like a good choice lol.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lomita, California
Posts: 200
I think Tammy had a great post, actually. that moron supervisor will be there longer than you will.
Go to the internet, places like "Monster.com" Just put your name and specs out there. You will be amazed. I turned down a dozen jobs this year because I need a time out to recover. Work my butt off 18 years, I need a few months off.
No fancy vacation, just sit at home. Video games are great. I shoot up stuff they would lock me up for in real life.
The years will change you, I was also a "door mat" for years. I don't know those people any more. It's called maturing. Give your wife a big hug tonight, then go out for Chinese (that always worked for me)
Go to the internet, places like "Monster.com" Just put your name and specs out there. You will be amazed. I turned down a dozen jobs this year because I need a time out to recover. Work my butt off 18 years, I need a few months off.
No fancy vacation, just sit at home. Video games are great. I shoot up stuff they would lock me up for in real life.
The years will change you, I was also a "door mat" for years. I don't know those people any more. It's called maturing. Give your wife a big hug tonight, then go out for Chinese (that always worked for me)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
haha she loves chinese I hate it! haha. Yeah i worry about that moron supervisor stayen longer then me as theres a few of them who have outlasted other more qualified folks. There good at playing the game as I like to put it. The game I refuse to play so yeah I dont fit in very well.
I cant really look for another job in the same line of work as there are not many near me I'd have to commute and once I look at what they will pay me vs the commute costs etc.. it doesnt make sense i'd be taking a pay cut and now isnt the time for me to do that yet certainl not to go to yet another frustrating job.
I do keep my eyes open for other stuff I might be capable of doing but there again while I could be a valuable asset since my background isnt an exact fit I get looked over.
I really am sorta trapped at this job till they let me go or I can downsize my life IE move to a smaller home etc.. or cough up enough money to move into something different work wise IE i've pondered buying a farm or starting a different type of business both things I could do while being at my present job till they got off the ground. But it takes money!
I cant really look for another job in the same line of work as there are not many near me I'd have to commute and once I look at what they will pay me vs the commute costs etc.. it doesnt make sense i'd be taking a pay cut and now isnt the time for me to do that yet certainl not to go to yet another frustrating job.
I do keep my eyes open for other stuff I might be capable of doing but there again while I could be a valuable asset since my background isnt an exact fit I get looked over.
I really am sorta trapped at this job till they let me go or I can downsize my life IE move to a smaller home etc.. or cough up enough money to move into something different work wise IE i've pondered buying a farm or starting a different type of business both things I could do while being at my present job till they got off the ground. But it takes money!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
