john44

So, I've been sober for over 4 months now, am feeling better physically and the obsession/desire to drink has been lifted. Thank God. I'm really grateful for that; I remember clearly where I was and it was horrible.

As a result of my alcoholism, I lost my job of 15 years last January. At age 50, this is terrifying. For 6 months after, I tried to escape it with alcohol. That's over. I'm trying my best to clean up the wreckage and get to a point of productive normalcy.

At this point, I'm living off savings. My bills are pretty high; I made pretty good money before. Luckily, I was just approved for extended unemployment benefits but this won't last long. I find myself worrying about the future, scared that I'll lose everything I've worked so hard for over many years. My sponsor says many people are in worse condition than I am and I agree. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about slipping toward poverty.

Sorry for the whine...just felt like I needed to get it out amongst folks who understand.

Veritas1

How is it possible that fear of economic insecurity will leave us without any money in sight?


Start listening to Sandy B., an AA speaker, who talks alot about this issue.

I think it's going to be helpful for you!

Stories of Recovery - Sandy B Collection

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

Fear will leave us.....

This last link has Sandy talking exactly about what you wrote about. At about 10 minutes into the talk!

tomsteve

to me it sounds like fear of the future. puttin one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow makes me pee all over today.
what you are experiencing is one of the consequences of drinking. i am gonna be a lil harsh here, but ya didnt lose yer job. it is right where it was. ya gave it to someone else so ya could drink.
T.I.M.E.= Things I Must Earn.

putting materialistic posessions ahead of my HP is always a recipe for gloom, dispair and misery, 3 things i dont want any more.

many poeple are in worse shape. one thing i do when i start gettin on the pity pot is remember the children i have seen goin though chemo at the cancer center i was gettin chemo at. not only them, but their parents. i can only imagine their reation if i started tellin them my problems.

sugarbear1

Sounds like you are in AA. Say a prayer to your higher power that your job be placed in front of you (you'll do the work to get it). Ask your higher power where you can be useful....that job will come! Do the footwork you can to find a job (not questioning whether you have or not, just keep working to find a job).

I also began to rebuild my life at the age of 50 and today I am employed in the field I had given up on 10 years ago.... Tomorrow isn't yet here, I may or may not say this next week, but today, I am employed and I don't fear tomorrow. I choose to live in today.

I attended a 9 am meeting, shopped for a little while, returned home and raked some leaves out of my little yard. Now some children found my pile (apartment, but I have a little fenced in yard) out in the common area, so I apparently became useful to these little people's lives today without even knowing it!

Today, it's not about me, it's about being useful to the next person and just being the vessel.....I take no credit, life is just beautiful today....

john44

Your beautiful post gives me hope and makes me smile. Thank you so much.